Buff: present rear through fence to distract.
the other two: grab that corpse and rough it up, then give the pieces to the racoon.

tippler 2024/03/24(Sun)17:27 No. 1087048 ID: 9ea24b
File 171132647609.png - (10.20KB , 500x500 , p5a.png )

>>1087046
heh, yeah i'm friends with joe. joe mama.

i am too tired from doing chicken induced chores and haunting dreams, and don't feel like doing anything else today except look at guilty gear fanart. the chickens are on their own for the rest of the day

tippler 2024/03/24(Sun)17:28 No. 1087049 ID: 9ea24b
File 171132653225.png - (13.65KB , 500x500 , p5b.png )

East and Bar unwrap the chicken breasts. their beaks start watering at the sight of such plentiful high quality protein. they both take one breast for the flock and give the other to the raccoon.

tippler 2024/03/24(Sun)17:32 No. 1087051 ID: 9ea24b
File 171132674132.png - (8.98KB , 500x500 , p5c.png )

the raccoon is elated. "Thanks guys! I knew you had some leftovers you were hiding. I better tell all the other lads about this."

Tell him he won't pass the mating tribunal if he tells anyone else. You all are only sharing because he is such an ideal male specimen, and he should come back tomorrow alone.

But there's no more chickens to eat. Why compete with them for the scraps?

Tell him if he tells anyone else he's dead. DEAD.

tippler 2024/03/24(Sun)19:32 No. 1087057 ID: 9ea24b
File 171133396595.png - (10.79KB , 500x500 , p6a.png )

"Hey, don't tell anyone else about this. It'll bring more competition for food and mating. Come back tomorrow alone and unarmed." Buff tells the raccoon sternly.

he nods, mouth full, and runs away out of sight.

tippler 2024/03/24(Sun)19:33 No. 1087058 ID: 9ea24b
File 171133401993.png - (10.31KB , 500x500 , p6b.png )

the chickens shed their disguises and after a good day of digging holes in their run and pooping everywhere, retire to their roost for the night.

how do they deal with the raccoon once and for all tomorrow?

Simple. Just get Tippler to eat the raccoon.

>>1087058
Send subliminal dreams to tippler.
Dreams of the most perfect, stupendous raccoon cosplay.
Made from what he can scavenge around the house.

The presence of such a large, intimidating alpha raccoon would surely terrify the local raccoons into staying away.

If hes too obsessed with guilty gear...

Then drastic measures girls.
You have a chicken breast left?
Poison it.
Uncooked egg for salmonella.
Shell shards and trimmed spurs or claws tucked inside for horrible stomach injuries.
Chicken witchcraft to curse the food item.
Theres three of you, thats a full coven.

Or maybe voodoo.

Chickens have a long, cultural history of participating in voodoo rituals

>>1087062

This, but the raccoon is more attracted to raccoon tippler since he's big so makes big babies. tippler eats the poisoned raw chicken.

Public trial and execution.

>>1087058
Hold a mating tribunal, obviously.

Offer the racoon eggs and occasional mating (through the fence) in eggschange for his keeping your cool hideout a secret. If you off him some other racoon will probably find you later, so make an ally while he's receptive.

Alternate plan.

Tell the raccoon how good a life chickens have.
Food
Safety.
Close proximity to unguarded trash cans.
Warm shelter and sisterhood.

Convince him to swap teams.
All he'd need is some spare feathers, a tiny cone party hat beak and a red rubber glove.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)09:11 No. 1087103 ID: 9ea24b
File 171138310863.png - (9.01KB , 500x500 , p7.png )

i seriously had a real life dream last night about taking a test on chickens in order to go to college. not only was high school over ten years ago, but i woke up genuinely stressed.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)09:13 No. 1087104 ID: 9ea24b
File 171138319433.png - (10.62KB , 500x500 , p7b.png )

in my confusion after such a stressful dream, i stumble into the kitchen and pour myself a bowl of poisoned raw salmonella instead of cereal. the chickens are on their own once more.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)09:15 No. 1087105 ID: 9ea24b
File 171138330867.png - (11.45KB , 500x500 , p7c.png )

the chickens decide to hold a tribunal to decide the raccoon's fate. whether they fight and execute him, invite him to be their friend, or something else entirely, this will be the final judgement.

what questions do they ask the raccoon?

oh no

What skills does he bring to the table?
Where does he see himself in three years?
What would he say is his biggest flaw?
Does he prefer dogs or cats?
If he were going on a romantic date where would he go?

>>1087108
All of these and:
"Can you do your best crow?"
If he does try not to swoon ladies.

Then if everyone is getting along the flock can enjoy the delicious protein just laid there in the kitchen.

breasts or thighs? test where his loyalties truly lie and see if he starts salivating in response.

Let's ask if the raccoon can bring the chickens food. We fed him, it only seems fair, and the poor chicks are down a caretaker.

>>1087105
With the human dead, the chickens' only choice is to go native and to truly become as raccoons themselves. Imagine the feasts they could pillage together, with their combined know how.

Their rooster wanting to eat their corpses would be nothing new, chickens are notorious cannibals themselves.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)14:11 No. 1087117 ID: 9ea24b
File 171140111470.png - (12.96KB , 500x500 , p8a.png )

though i may be dead, my kind hearted father would never let the chickens be neglected. this is all fathers' irl worst fear, that the children lose interest in a pet and they have to take care of it.

he takes out their morning pellets and refills their water, unaware of any procedural drama

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)14:16 No. 1087120 ID: 9ea24b
File 171140140316.png - (9.50KB , 500x500 , p8b.png )

"so you are actually chickens." the raccoon says. "i don't really appreciate being lied to."

"that is not important." squawk the chickens. "you must answer our questions."

>what skills does the raccoon have
he is good at digging, climbing, swimming, catching fish, and eating trash

>breasts or thighs?
thighs. dark meat has more calories.

>would he accept and support the chickens if they wanted to become raccoons?
yes, though it's kind of confusing to think about.

>crow!
the raccoon screeches as loud as he can. it does not sound anything like a rooster.

Guilty! The sentence is community service.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)14:19 No. 1087123 ID: 9ea24b
File 171140155456.png - (11.40KB , 500x500 , p8c.png )

the chickens huddle together to make their decision. should they leave their run and become raccoons and have many chiccoon babies or stay and be taken care of by tippler's father?

They should leave and have many chiccoons. An egg-laying, fast-propagating, almost-flying subspecies of raccoon is obviously what your local ecosystem needs, probably.

>>1087123
Tipplers kind and generous father should be honoured, but the flock must thrive.

Give thanks to the giver of pellety boons, don your raccoon regalia and head forth.

Racoon was bold enough to crow and should be gifted with a rubber glove comb to signify his status as chosen rooster of the flock.

Let your numbers swell in defiance of the laws of god, nature and local regulatory bodies.
Now is the time of the chiccoon.

Dead tippler can also join the racoons.

Chickoons! The hardiness of a chicken, the cleverness of a raccoon.

Resurrect the tippler with messed-up magics

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)17:59 No. 1087143 ID: 9ea24b
File 171141475493.png - (13.86KB , 500x500 , p9a.png )

the flock will thrive with the raccoon! it is no life to be trapped in the shittiest coop and run known to man, waiting for some predator to come in and devour them.

the chickens fly out of the hole in the chicken wire and join the raccoon in feasting on tippler's nutritious corpse.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)17:59 No. 1087144 ID: 9ea24b
File 171141477578.png - (12.56KB , 500x500 , p9b.png )

Bar gives the raccoon a mini rubber glove to wear as an honorary comb. they prance together across the lawn, as happy as can be. the raccoon is particularly happy to have three hot chicks in his entourage.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)17:59 No. 1087145 ID: 9ea24b
File 171141478605.png - (8.54KB , 500x500 , p9c.png )

in a miracle of science, the next time Buff goes broody and hatches a clutch of eggs, the first ever chiccoons are born! they have no teeth and seem very clever. soon the entire suburb is swarming with the creatures.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)18:00 No. 1087146 ID: 9ea24b
File 171141480082.png - (11.63KB , 500x500 , p9d.png )

via dark magics and destruction of the local ecosystem, my skeleton is revived to do one last update.

as is tradition for rabid tippler quests, it is time to spill my guts. you have 90 minutes to ask me questions and i will answer

>>1087146
Was your desire to get chickens due to the increasing global rise in egg prices, or does it stem from some other dire motivation, such as mad science crossbreeding of different species?

How does a chiccoon eat with no teeth

How's it going? Got any fun plans after this?

>>1087146
This was inordinately good fun.


Hmm.
Question.
Have you kept real chickens?
Any avian?
And if not,would you like to?

After this experience, would you consider yourself to be... bone again?

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)19:59 No. 1087156 ID: 9ea24b
File 171142194446.png - (162.36KB , 500x600 , a26.png )

>>1087150
just like my lust for fish, i have always desired chickens i would say primarily as pets. i grew up in a petless household (the same that i currently live in), so i have a great yearning built up over decades. also i think birds are cute.

it is definitely not cheaper to keep your own chickens for eggs since the startup cost of the coop and other equipment is so high, though i will happily enjoy the eggs once they come.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)20:01 No. 1087157 ID: 9ea24b
File 171142209584.png - (112.90KB , 500x500 , a51.png )

>>1087151
the same way a chicken eats! they have a gizzard that grinds their food up using small ingested stones. it is recommended you provide chickens with 'grit' so that they always have a healthy gizzard

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)20:05 No. 1087158 ID: 9ea24b
File 171142231277.png - (16.75KB , 500x500 , a57.png )

>>1087152
i have been having a grand old time watching the dungeon meshi anime, reading frieren, watching surefour frag in overwatch 2, and playing hearthstone.

i much appreciate only working on one quest at a time. pliny still has a couples months left but i already have something planned for next quest. i am trying my hardest not to start it in tandem, because i know the chickens will keep me busy

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)20:06 No. 1087159 ID: 9ea24b
File 171142240143.png - (110.29KB , 500x500 , a54.png )

>>1087154
the chickens will be ready for pickup in irl 2 weeks, they will be 8 week old pullets and need about 10 more weeks before they start laying eggs. i have never kept birds before this which is partially why i am so excited. i am glad you enjoyed the quest.

tippler 2024/03/25(Mon)20:10 No. 1087161 ID: 9ea24b
File 171142264113.png - (369.38KB , 500x800 , a78.png )

>>1087155
unrelated picture of body. i wanted to make many a meme image when pliny was learning about god in worm quest. pliny has become catholic etc. ect.

thanks for all the questions and for reading

Thanks for running it, was enjoyable to partake in! Polite sage, forgot to remove my trip.