Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/21(Tue)19:01 No. 10430 ID: 227d44
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But for now, I'm just at my shitty job, sitting at my shitty desk.

What the hell do I do?

Start stapling your files on the wrong corner. It'll throw everyone off.

LOOT EVERYTHING.
AKA Steal Office Supplies.

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/21(Tue)19:10 No. 10433 ID: 227d44
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>>10431
Meh, already did that. Didn't seem to piss anyone off but my boss. Man, that reduced pay is great.

>>10432
I would, but the most valuable stuff is in the second drawer to the filing cabinet, and it's locked. Where the fuck did I put that key?

>>10433

Lounge in chair. Escape into realm of MAKE BELIEVE.

>>10433
KEEP ON RUBBIN' THAT BUD- oh wait

Examine bookshelf, flip through all books for possbile hidden key

>>10433
that bastard cut your pay because of a joke?
i suggest 'reducing' his 'pay' with your keys on his car.

Make table into a fort.

>>10433
Leave work.

Find Necronomicon.

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/21(Tue)19:18 No. 10439 ID: 227d44
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>>10435
Oh god...so damn tired...my arm hurts from all that flipping...no luck, though.

>>10436
I would, but I can't find the damn key.

>>10439
Break the damn lock. Fuck responsibility.
If anyone asks, it was always like that.

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/21(Tue)19:27 No. 10442 ID: 227d44
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>>10441
You know what? You're right. FUCK this shit. I'm tired of this bullshit at work. Here I g-

...

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/21(Tue)19:27 No. 10443 ID: 227d44
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FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/21(Tue)19:29 No. 10444 ID: 227d44
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>>10443
FINE. WHAT THE FUCK EVER. I took it. Now what?

>>10439
Do you have a laser pointer, paper, pencil and a paperclip?

We can guide you through fabricating a key to that filing cabinet.

>>10445
Well, I was a bit late, huh?

>>10444
Unlock cabinet, duh.

Suggestion 2009/07/22(Wed)12:15 No. 10638 ID: 227d44
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>>10505
Ok, its unlocked. And...that's not normally there. Whatever it is, it appears to be staring at me. What should I do?

>>10638
Put mask on.
Peer at surroundings through eye.

Suggestion 2009/07/22(Wed)12:29 No. 10658 ID: 227d44
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>>10649

It doesn't appear to be a mask...Although its eye has taken on a foreboding hue of blood red, it hasn't done anything yet.

>>10658
Close drawer, trick coworker into opening drawer.

Say hello. It's best to green alien eldritch beings with a friendly demeanor.

Suggestion 2009/07/22(Wed)12:43 No. 10673 ID: 227d44
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>>10666
I say hello, but there's no respooOOOOOAGH

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)12:54 No. 10684 ID: 227d44
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>>10674
Guys? Why can't I feel the right side of my face?

>>10681
Because it's an eldritch abomination from beyond the stars now.
Go online and search up 'Tentacle Rape' to see the inevitable results.

>>10684
move into opera house, learn to play organ, learn to sing.
call yourself the phantom.
kidnap hot wimmens, sing to them.

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)13:03 No. 10700 ID: 227d44
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>>10686
I can't sing for my life. Who the hell do you think I am? Ludy, the great kobold bard?

"GANT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THERE? GET BACK TO WORK."

Shit, it's my boss...what should I do?

>>10700
Have your floating chair do your paperwork for you while you sneak out.

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)15:08 No. 10890 ID: 227d44
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>>10871
...What floating chair?

Man, I knew I was going insane whenever you voices started popping into my head, but this is a bit much.

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)15:19 No. 10901 ID: 227d44
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>>10890
...Did anyone notice the fact that my books just fucking disappeared?

>>10901
Throw them all on the ground and tear them up. That'll teach them, disappearing like that.

>>10941
No! We don't go tearing up everything that hides from us. What would abstract creatures from beyond think of us if we behaved like that?

>>10951
They'd let us join their 'rip and tear the humans' club?

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)18:40 No. 11112 ID: 227d44
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>>10941
What is with your obsessions with me mangling books?

"GANT, I'M COMING IN! IF YOU AREN'T WORKING, ITS YOUR ASS!"

Shit. Where's the Morrison papers?

>>11112

You don't want to keep working at this dump anyway, when your boss comes in, give him a piece of your mind...MIND MIND MIND!

>>11112
Screw the Morrison papers, you're a free man! Hide by the doors so you can ambush your boss as he enters.

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)20:18 No. 11143 ID: 227d44
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>>11121
>mind
>Mind
>MIND

You know what, voices?

"GANT, I'M COMING IN!!"

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)20:19 No. 11145 ID: 227d44
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I think I like you.

"3...2...1!"

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)20:19 No. 11146 ID: 227d44
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"Gant...what the hell is this?!"

How should I kill him, voices?

>>11146
Blow his mind.

>>11146
You know what, we don't need to actually kill him. Just knock him out and swap clothes with him. Then take over his life - go home, bang his wife, complain about your employees. The next day ask him where those Morrison papers are.

>>11146
Don't.

Pin him to the wall with the desk.

Keep him there, have an emotional tirade that you're sick of his bullshit, and give him a threat that will keep him paranoid and fearing for his life for the rest of his days.

Use desk to propel him out a window!

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)20:54 No. 11157 ID: 227d44
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>>11152
"UGH"

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)20:56 No. 11158 ID: 227d44
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>>11157
"You know boss? I've worked here for 10 damn years. You hear that? TEN FUCKING YEARS you took away from my life to waste it with this bullshit. Not anymore. Hell, you might as well consider this my official resignation. I'm seriously thinking about killing you for all the shit you put me through. But I won't do that. Yet.

"YET?!"

"Did I say you could fucking talk? No, I didn't. Now, If you tell anyone about this, I will find you. I don't care where you are, I'll find you, and I will shove this desk up your ass. Do you hear me?"

"...Yes."

"Good. Now get out."

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)21:01 No. 11160 ID: 227d44
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Well, he seemed eager to leave.

What now?

>>11158
Loot BUILDING.

Well lets see, you got power. That is good. I'm thinking... Take out all the world powers.

>>11160
Take over world. Tell scientists to build time machine. Fly to the future. Take over alien planets. Rule galactic empire. ???. PROFIT.

Primus!0rAjEj6mAQ 2009/07/22(Wed)21:16 No. 11166 ID: 227d44
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>>11162
...How in the hell do you expect me to overthrow all of civilizations leaders? Let's face it, while I can manipulate somewhat heavy objects, doesn't mean that I can lift EXTREMELY heavy objects...I need a plan...

>>11166
While we think one up, let's see what the outside of your office looks like.

Suggestion 2009/07/22(Wed)21:34 No. 11171 ID: 227d44
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>>11167
God damn, but it is dark in here. My boss must have ditched the place and locked it down after I threatened him.

Where the FUCK does he get off?

Where's the fucking light switch?

>>11171
See with your mind, not your eyes.

Suggestion 2009/07/22(Wed)22:09 No. 11180 ID: 227d44
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>>11172
Oh, there it is. Duh.

Suggestion 2009/07/22(Wed)22:10 No. 11181 ID: 227d44
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>>11180
Oh. Um...shit.

*SESSION 1 END*