tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:16 No. 1037855 ID: 9ea24b
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this is the purest id non-drunk drunk quest you're going to get. where's the goddam hard vore around here. i am forced to eat mine own imag to survive

Hard vore? Try the butchers

Tell us how you really feel.

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:22 No. 1037858 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037857
i often feel like my life as a meat machine has no purpose but i work to optimize my physical and mental comfort at all times because i do not like suffering.

food good

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:23 No. 1037859 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037856
i run to the butcher shop and gaze upon the rows of immaculate flesh. how do i get my hands on these blessed cuts?

Y'know what? Carpe diem!

Post selfies! I need them for my (future) tippler shrine!

Phase through the glass. Matter only exists if you choose to believe in it. Just choose not to.

Don't go too far with it though, otherwise your body will cease to exist, and you will be nothing more than a concept.

You ask the butcher to get them down for you. Then, while his back is turned, you eat his sweet baby back ribs.

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:30 No. 1037863 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037860
i gaze at mine own reflection in the glass display window, desperately searching for any pimples i can eradicate from the face of the earth

nope, all scars and scabs. shame

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:34 No. 1037864 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037861
i attempt to phase through the glass but in true tippler fashion im limited by the bounds of physical reality, even in fiction. the butcher's assistant spots me and looks fairly alarmed

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:36 No. 1037865 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037862
"im calling the police" he says

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:38 No. 1037866 ID: 9ea24b
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"your ribs are mine, dog man" i say politely

It's not polite to talk with your mouth full of dog ribs (and glass).

Fool, I am the poloce

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:47 No. 1037870 ID: 9ea24b
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"it's not polite to talk with your mouth full of glass!" the butcher cries out desperately before i stomp his head into mush and steal $200 from his wallet. i may not be able to phase through glass but in true tippler fashion im giving the character i like op powers

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:47 No. 1037871 ID: 9ea24b
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MEAT MEAT MEAT

FLESH FLESH FLESH

Good job. Remember to brush your teeth before ending your quest for the evening.

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:49 No. 1037873 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037869
aw shit i should have done a cool one liner or something. got carried away by those dog ribs

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)16:52 No. 1037874 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037872
the night's just getting started! like all humans i have an endless hunger for online validation

where to next?

Just add it to the questlog for later.
New task: head to barnes & noble to buy a questlog.

Yes, bookstore good, one with coffee

Go to your friendly neighborhood bookstore/quest dealer. They have quest logs and pigeons.

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)17:02 No. 1037878 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037875
oh this bitch ALWAYS brushes. part of the optimal physical health plan

>>1037876
i seamlessly transition to barnes and noble. says there's a starbucks inside

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)17:02 No. 1037879 ID: 9ea24b
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there's a hot furry babe working the stacks

We must find out if there is an afterlife for Tom from This Isn't Working.

*Sniffles* I miss him.

Bribe her with pants for her library card.

Ask for a questlog all about defeating pigeons and collecting meat and a large *not tall or whatever the fuck its called* coffee with breast milk

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)17:11 No. 1037883 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037882
"ma'am where can i find a notebook and a pigeon and breasts i don't have any." i squawk

she graciously helps me secure all of these things but when i try to pay her with pants she gets offended

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)17:12 No. 1037884 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037880
in direct opposition to all ed quests the only tippler setting with an afterlife is the you died verse because souls contain data. tom is ashes in uzak's bathwater jar

on the way out i order a decaf latte with extra lactation

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)17:14 No. 1037885 ID: 9ea24b
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oh wait yeah, dog dick quest has an afterlife too. all dogs go to heaven

Combine these items in your inventory to create a new big titty quail oc.

>>1037884
'Twas what I suspected. Now with this knowledge, I may finally die in peace... but until then:

Let's defeat the other authors in a Wacky Race for quest supremacy.

>>1037888
Yes challenge the bookstore keeper and the other quest slaves to a whacky races race

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)17:47 No. 1037896 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037886
using my super awesome non-glass phasing powers, i combine my recently obtained items to make new life

my god, it can't be!

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)17:48 No. 1037897 ID: 9ea24b
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it's a bird who is also a public servant. i instinctively want to devour him but i will restrain myself for now

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)17:50 No. 1037899 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037888
>>1037892
yes let us have a wacky competition of some kind to distract from the fact that nothing matters

what is the field of play?

Stamp collecting.

Finding out the One True Religion!

the ultimate sport that a bird, cat, and fish obsessed man can be into.

f i s h i n g

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)18:14 No. 1037905 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037901
i gather the other quest authors and try to make everyone collect stamps. nobody wins

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)18:15 No. 1037906 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037902
the bird speaks very passionately about how his enjoyment of another quest author has been reduced to his one character trait. it's very compelling

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)18:15 No. 1037907 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037904
ok, well that's just a shoe-in victor. currently the competition is tied between me and the bird

Surprise upset from the cat girl, bringing in a big tuna! Only for her catch to be disqualified because her feline instincts made her eat it all immediately and then throw-up into her food dish.

>>1037908
This but it's a catfish, she eats the catfish and it's pseudo cannibalism because that's a funny theme

The choice is clear before me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBEcfx8aL7o

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)18:52 No. 1037911 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037908
>>1037909
out of nowhere the cat smacks me with an enormous catfish. dang, those things have barbs, girl. the humiliation is so great i have no choice but to forfeit my place in the competition

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)18:52 No. 1037912 ID: 9ea24b
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the bird is happy, but only a transitory happiness that will quickly fade as the desire for the next dopamine hit comes

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)18:53 No. 1037913 ID: 9ea24b
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evening's still somewhat young. what else should i do?

Enter your favourite story in the whole wide world and change the stuff you wanted to change.

Update Gamer AU Y/N Quest

Update this quest. Realize no matter what you do now, it is just a form of updating this quest.

Go fishing of course

Go fishing for compliments using a fishing rod.

Compliments are these small furball like creatures that when popped make this really satisfying crunch. They're totally friendly and probably not concscious or existensially weird

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)19:50 No. 1037927 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037916
if you know you know

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)19:51 No. 1037928 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037918
ok, ok, fuck, they want those fuckin' waffles, alright. ughhhh writing is so hard

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)19:51 No. 1037929 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037918
*draws for literally five seconds*

right, that's that update in the bag

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)19:52 No. 1037932 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037925
oh boy! oh boy! im going to catch a carp! i will hold it in my hands! i will give it a little kiss on the lips!

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)19:52 No. 1037933 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037924
we live in a society

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)19:55 No. 1037935 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037926
I WANTED CARP YOU SON OF A BITCCCCCHHHHHHH

Draw next update with your non dominate hand

>>1037935
Wrestle a carp out of the water with your bare hands.

Wrestle a crap out of the water with your bare hands.

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)20:09 No. 1037942 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037937
i actually have to do this all the time because i haven't bothered to buy a net.

>>1037941
the fish usually do poop a little, yes

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)20:09 No. 1037943 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037936
the nib on my tablet pen has been worn down at the precisely wrong angle for this

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)20:12 No. 1037944 ID: 9ea24b
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ok now it is getting late, get all your final questions and suggestions in here for one last big update. i'll even be generous and wait 20 minutes

Question: Why havent you made a throne of fish and learned how to create fish biotechnology so that your computer can be run by fish and use fish as cd roms and usbs. Fish are a renewable resource that I will discuss in my thesis-

Rank your OCs on levels of fun to draw!

How are you feeling?

Can we see your pale chub?

Devour that carp!

Has art been stressful for you lately?

Don't forget to celebrate Prime Day!

Hey, we forgot to ask, are you a boy or a g-?

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)20:53 No. 1037960 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037947
i have become god. with my infinite power i kill a lot of people and then feel bad about it

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)20:54 No. 1037961 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037950
derek is numba 1 for sure, he's just darling. i love uzak even though i have trouble drawing her, and i like mommy and daddy because they're hot. ironically i love body but don't like how i draw her but also her being malformed is kind of the point

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)20:55 No. 1037962 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037951
>>1037957
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was and look where my hand was
Time isn't holding up, time isn't after us
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was
Letting the days go by, same as it ever was
Here a twister comes, here comes the twister
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was (Letting the days go by)
Same as it ever was, same as it ever was (Letting the days go by)
Once in a lifetime (Let the water hold me down)
Letting the days go by (Water flowing underground)
Into the blue again

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)20:56 No. 1037963 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037958
i don't buy things, which is actually a problem because i slowly run out of intact clothing. consumerism is good for the economy i just don't get any joy out of spending money

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)20:57 No. 1037964 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037954
me everyday of my goddam life

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)20:59 No. 1037965 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037959
for one dollar a month you can hear my beautiful voice on patreon streams

thanks for reading and participating everyone

tippler 2022/07/12(Tue)21:02 No. 1037966 ID: 9ea24b
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>>1037952
wait fuck i forgot the pale chub. i know you're talking about the fish but just imagine

What's wrong with your FACE

>>1037967
Blood and scars.
Like Spartacus with fish.

There is red on your face