Bounty.

Hunter.

If you're going to be constantly watching your back for the authorities and needing to keep a low profile anyway, why not become some sorta crime person? Maybe put some of that fancy ol' jedi training to use. Jumping a lot, floating things into your hand, mind controlling people. Just spread a bit of the wealth to the unfortunate now and then and your conscience will be fine.

Taxi Driver, with an eye towards smuggling and contraband.

boring main gig, lucrative side gig!

>>1026896
Go look for Cal Kestis. Probably could help you out with shit.

Jynn 2022/03/22(Tue)16:28 No. 1026969 ID: c92a02
File 164799170269.png - (8.45KB , 500x500 , double_hmm.png )

>Any good at mind control hand waving?
Well, it's worked once so far, but you can't go waving that in everyone's face or the Empire will take notice.
>We could become a carnival attraction, the amazing master of hypnotism!
If only the carnival was in town...

>Driving sounds like a great opportunity to get hired for dangerous jobs!
You're not a big fan of danger after it's tried to kill you so many times! Hopefully the most danger you'd face would be rush hour traffic.

>Become a smuggler...
Maybe. It seems like a tricky business to get into if you don't know people already, though.

>look for Cal Kestis
Cal? Cal... The names rings a bell, faintly. You wonder how he's doing. Probably dead.

>Bounty. Hunter.
That's just a mercenary with a cool helmet! ...You wonder if that mandalorian is hiring interns.

>Taxi driver
Hmm...
>with an eye towards smuggling and contraband
Well, if it's lucrative-!

Your thoughts are interrupted by a distant explosion, followed by a low roar.

>Run away from the noise
>Hide in place
>Run towards the noise

Hide, and spy. Who knows, maybe it's a job opportunity?
...
Don mustache too! Added disguise is good just in case

Go get a look at it anyways.

Running away might make people think it's your fault. Cover in place.

do what the crowd does.

Jynn 2022/03/23(Wed)16:22 No. 1027086 ID: c92a02
File 164807776907.png - (12.44KB , 500x500 , blending_right_in.png )

>Hide and camouflage
Whatever it was, you didn't do it, and you don't want anyone getting the idea that you did! You find an unassuming spot and blend in.

The commotion seems to be getting closer. Pretty soon it'll pass you by.
There's a rumbling sound, like a cascade of collapsing rubble, and you're starting to get worried. The screams of panicked bystanders echo down the street. A couple run past but don’t notice you, far more concerned with whatever they’re running from.
Then you hear the roar again, like some sort of huge, angry beast.

Jynn 2022/03/23(Wed)16:22 No. 1027087 ID: c92a02
File 164807777374.png - (14.02KB , 500x500 , technically_not_godzilla.png )

Emperor's new clothes, It WAS a huge, angry beast! A three-armed lizard the size of a tall building rises from the undercity. It looks like some kind of giant angry spaghetti monster whose order you got wrong.
The enormous, wiry creature clambers down the street, swinging its tail into buildings and swatting speeders from the sky! You vaguely recall seeing it before, on the news some years ago. How did it come back? What does it want? How didn't anyone notice sooner?
The only thing you do know, is staying here might have been a really bad idea!

Can you use the Force to calm it the fuck down? While wearing a better disguise? One that covers your whole body, perhaps.

Beasts are dumb. See if you can handwave it into the stormtrooper headquarters.

>>1027087
Quickly, now is your chance to provoke it into destroying McEmperors and gaining the catharsis of completely obliterating that minimum wage shit hole for all the years of humiliation you've had to deal with!

And if your lucky maybe you can pick the register out of wreckage and make a buck too!

Are there any nearby alleyways, that's gotta be the safest place, surely? Assuming this beast decides to take the path of least resistance and not just smash through everything that is.

Fight it! Expose your secret to save the city and be the hero! And immediately be captured afterwards.
Nevermind, get out of there!

Force choke the creature.
Give in to your rage.
Remember that festering bathroom.

Escape into the subway, it’s to big to fit down there.

>>1027092
Are we really this petty and vindictive? Are we going to be tempted to the dark side over a filthy bathroom?

Fuck yes we are, let's do this.

Oooh, you're right next to a pizza place. Get some pizza!

>>1027089
If you find a better disguise and a plausible excuse for hiw you did it I vote calming it down with jedy magic

>>1027087
Just gtfo

Jynn 2022/03/24(Thu)16:26 No. 1027219 ID: c92a02
File 164816436973.png - (12.96KB , 500x500 , not_as_planned.png )

>Force or flight
Every instinct you have is screaming to run away, but maybe, just maybe you can calm the beast down. You just have to be brave. You put your hand out and concentrate. You reach out to this monster's mind and search its feelings…
You gasp. The sheer scale of its fury sends you staggering backwards. Whoever said 'size matters not' must never have stared into angry green eyes as big as themselves! You decide that putting as much of Coruscant as possible between you and that thing is the better course of action.
You start sprinting back to the diner, but its limbs overtake you! The street beneath you is smashed in half, sending you flying into the air. You flail around, trying to grab ahold of something before plummeting to the ground. Luckily, your fall is broken by the passing of a well timed truck!
Unfortunately, the truck is transporting a toxic green sludge in open-topped vats. You hit the surface with a splat and sink in. You suddenly feel very strange...

Jynn 2022/03/24(Thu)16:26 No. 1027220 ID: c92a02
File 164816437260.png - (13.76KB , 500x500 , maybe_size_does_matter.png )

The vat around you bursts open as you suddenly find yourself growing to great size. Must have been some powerful stuff you fell in! You hop off the rapidly shrinking truck bed and are surprised to find the ground not too far away. The feeling of vertigo increases from the sight of people below running away from you too now, and the speeders flying past your face. Hiding is going to be pretty difficult now, but at the moment you have much more immediate problems.
The creature hasn't noticed it has company yet. Better have a plan to deal with it before it turns around.

>>1027220
Look for something big and pointy. Backstab it. Then tell it to git gud scrub.

Ignore monster and go stomp on the stormtroper barracks. Maybe if you look angry enough the monster will help.

The monster is probably hungry

Pick up a vat of sludge or two, pour it all over the place you used to work, then make it a giant meal to calm it down!

Okay, so you're dreaming. You fell asleep in the back room after trying to scour and repair the bathroom disaster for four - friggin' FOUR - hours and completely exhausting yourself. You never managed to say 'I quit' to your boss, that was just wishful dreaming.

And this beast is just your inner consciousness' rage at the unfairness of it all and your sudden gigantification a subconscious hint that you should take sudden advantages and opportunities when they fall in your lap, no matter how unlikely they seem.

(this is a good story to tell yourself as you ready yourself for a fight)

Now go tickle or haymaker that there beast or something. Grab its by its tail and do a Mario-Bowser spinthrow! Right into the lake at the public parklands!

See that imperial command post over there?
Rip it off and hit the monster with it like a cinderblock two-by-four!

>>1027227
This, but ignore the monster and CRUSH ALL IMPERIAL FORCES WHILE YOU STILL CAN! Retake this planet from the Empire and then destroy some extra infrastructure and a McEmperor's conveniently in the way so they'll never want it back! What are they going to do, spend quadrillions of credits to raze a ruined no-man's planet with no strategic value whatsoever?!

Laugh manically! Even in your wildest nightmares, the Empire wouldn't be stupid enough to strike back at two giant monsters! Hell, even an army of Sith couldn't stop this fat butt, what could the Empire possibly come up with?!

Judo-flip the beast onto the Emperor's palace.

>>1027220
Are we sure this isn't a dream? Did the fumes of the mess cause us to pass out and hallucinate all this?

Jynn 2022/03/28(Mon)14:29 No. 1027533 ID: c92a02
File 164850299715.png - (13.03KB , 500x500 , health_inspector_be_damned.png )

>Make food, not war
A crazy idea comes to you. What if the beast is just hungry? Nobody's happy when they're hungry. But what's big enough to feed it?
Hmm... If it worked on you, it should work on others, right? You pluck a vat off the back of the truck you just fell into and take two and a half steps back to the diner. You tear off the roof, to the shock of the people inside. You give a brief wave to your coworkers before you dump half a ton of radioactive, toxic waste all over them and the kitchen. Just as you thought, all the meat products are enlarged, still hot off the grill. You crack a (relatively) small smile at the audacity of your plan.
"Why did you do that?" asks a colossal, glowing Lorge.
"To save the city," you reply as you spread every single condiment you can find over a record-breaking patty.
You take a deep breath and try to get the monster's attention. "Hey, big guy! You hungry?"
It stops and turns toward you, sniffing the air. You brace yourself as it leans in, jaws open wide... For a bite of extra-extra-large spaceburger. The savory, phosphorescent taste of defrosted beef has won over another customer!
You let out the breath you were holding and steady yourself against the Coruscant skyline. Maybe you can finally take a five-minute break.

Jynn 2022/03/28(Mon)14:30 No. 1027534 ID: c92a02
File 164850300014.png - (10.58KB , 500x500 , some_cranky_old_man.png )

Just when you think you've restored peace to the city, the Empire shows up to ruin the party. The regional manager of McEmperor's, aka. Palpatine, aka. the Big McE himself shows up to yell at you.
"What is the meaning of this? You can't just give free food away like that! You're fired!"
"I don't even work for you anymore. I quit."
"You can't quit without giving two weeks' notice, either! I own you, Tala - You can never escape this chain!"
How did he know your real name… Whatever - how do you get this guy off your back - er, you mean deal with the Emperor.

Give them 1 giant Galactic Credit to pay for the meal.

If it's giant, i's gotta be worth more, right?

"Ok I'm fired, have fun paying my unemployment"

>>1027534
show him your unlimited power and punch him off the planet!

Call for emergency popular elections!

Who does people prefer? Creepy totalitarian old guy or giant alien girl with giant burgers?

Shout "Look agiant taco!"

>>1027534
flyswatter.jpg

Now RAMPAGE!

Jynn 2022/03/30(Wed)16:08 No. 1027687 ID: c92a02
File 164868168086.png - (8.62KB , 500x500 , palpatines_blasting_off_again.png )

"Forget it. I don't have to listen to old men in flying tacos. In fact, does anyone actually like this guy? Show of hands. Who do you like more, the lady that just saved the city, or this guy?"
Judi raises her hand for you. Palpatine votes for himself, of course. You give yourself four votes. Lorge and the masses of fleeing citizens abstain.
"Bah. I hate democracy," says Palpatine. "Stormtroopers! Blast this woman! She's the size of my palace, it'd be impossible for all of you to miss!" Tiny red bolts fill the sky, doing their darnedest to prove him wrong.
"Okay, that's enough of that." You backhand the Emperor into orbit. Looking up, you track his progress out of the atmosphere. That old man can really spin!

Jynn 2022/03/30(Wed)16:08 No. 1027688 ID: c92a02
File 164868168808.png - (12.08KB , 500x500 , nothing_could_possibly_diminish_this_triumph.png )

With their leader out of the way, puny stormtroopers are no match for you, your coworkers, and a surprisingly friendly space noodle monster. Well, you've done it! The day is saved, and the people are cheering for you! Best of all, you don't have to go into work tomorrow!
Ju'di throws herself into your embrace. “You did it, Jynn! You saved us all from that giant monster!”
Lorge leads everyone in cheering your name. "Finally, I don't have to work at that awful place anymore! Let's hear it for Jynn! Jynn! Jynn!"
Jynn! Jynn! Jynn...

Jynn 2022/03/30(Wed)16:08 No. 1027689 ID: c92a02
File 164868169215.png - (12.08KB , 500x500 , do_you_know_where_that_mops_been.png )

“'Jynn? ...Jynn? ...Jynn? Wake up.”
“Huh- wha?” You blink and realize the mop is not hugging you back. Lorge is looking over you with a concerned expression. You're standing in the refresher, which is spotless.
“Are you okay? You seem tired… Nice work cleaning this place up. Oh, but Flo came crawling back with a flat tire just now. I’ll need you to look at that again in the morning. For now, go home and get some rest. Shift’s over.”

Jynn 2022/03/30(Wed)16:08 No. 1027690 ID: c92a02
File 164868169852.png - (12.17KB , 500x500 , quadruple_facepalm.png )

Uuugggghh.

-SHIFT COMPLETED-
KILLS: 0
ITEMS: 0
SECRETS: 2
EMPLOYEE MORALE: BILIOUS
CUSTOMER SATISFACTION: MCADEQUATE

THANK YOU FOR PLAYING!

nice

>>1027691
McNice.

Told you ‘twas but a dream. But hey, at least you still have a job!

aw, darn
nice thread tho

preddy gud

>>1027689
seems like we just went psychotic also why do we have that twilek do we literally run this whole place on our own except for ordering food

THREAD 2 LINK: >>/questdis/137332