Watch, and learn,
Here is the deal:
He'll slip and slide,
On this banana peel.

Do not drop the plate. Watch your step!

Tripping right now would ruin all your efforts, and be super embarrassing, so be careful.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)16:40 No. 1016050 ID: eedbeb
File 163780080149.png - (153.91KB , 1000x1100 , p31.png )

You walk very carefully on the bumpy trail. One wrong step could ruin all your hard work.

The tunnels twist, join together, and connect to other warrens dotted throughout the mountains. The air gets colder as you travel deeper.

You’re checking your plate to make sure it’s still warm when another kobold enters your tunnel.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)16:40 No. 1016052 ID: eedbeb
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It’s a female kobold around your age, with her own plate grasped in her paws. You take a discrete sniff. Her meat might be livestock instead of a wild bird, but otherwise your food is better.

“Are you doing Thanks Meal too this year?” she asks, leaning over to take her own sniff.

“Yeah, I didn’t know multiple people did it.” you say.

“It’s only one boy and one girl.” she says imperiously, then lowers her voice. “My mother told me whoever has the worse food gets eaten by the dragon.”

-Come up with your own rumor
-Scoff
-Flirt

>>1016052
FLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRTFLIRT

Something something mildly suggestive pickup line about eating.

>>1016055
do this, except very poorly

>>1016055
Like "How about whoever has the better food gets eaten by a kobold instead?"

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)17:48 No. 1016065 ID: eedbeb
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You channel all you’ve learned from your father’s tales of romance. “That’s a shame, you’ll be eaten before I get a chance to eat you.”

There’s a moment when the innuendo is sinking in where you’re cursing your boldness, but then the other kobold blushes.

“My food is much better. We’ve been fattening this pheasant on scraps for months.” she stammers.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)17:49 No. 1016066 ID: eedbeb
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“Oh, there’s no hope for you, I got my tubers and berries from the finest farm in the land.” you boast.

The kobold pouts. “I doubt the dragon would actually eat either of us. What’s your name? I’m Weasel.”

“I’m Germ.”

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)17:49 No. 1016067 ID: eedbeb
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The two of you chatter and continue walking for a few more minutes until you start to see an orange glow. You emerge in an enormous cavern, where the great red dragon slumbers on a pile of old treasure.

You announce your arrival, but the dragon doesn’t stir. Hm, you wonder how to get her attention.

-Find a way to wake the dragon
-Make out with Weasel

I really want to say MAKE OUT WITH WEASEL, but that can wait.

Bring food up near the DRAGON'S SNOOT. They wanted food, giving them a whiff should work. After that though, if it doesent work, begin makeouts. I need this in my life, please, you don't understand.

Save making out for an even cheesier flirt later, hopefully she won't be eaten by then. Maybe if the dragon smells your food?

Make out with weasel

Make out with a weasel

Kiss the dragon on the forehead. Guaranteed to wake sleeping beauties.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)20:30 No. 1016089 ID: eedbeb
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Weasel gently bumps her shoulder against yours, and you feel her tail brush your side.

“We have to do our duty.” you say, a note of hesitation in your voice.

She sighs and moves away. “You’re right. Let’s try to put the food near her snout so she can smell it.”

You ascend the hoard to where you can feel the hot breath leaving the majestic dragon. You and Weasel hold your offerings as close to her nostrils as you can.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)20:30 No. 1016090 ID: eedbeb
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The dragon stirs with a great rattling of metal. One of her enormous golden eyes opens and focuses on you.

“Is it time for the Thanks Meal already?” She gives an enormous yawn and slowly pulls herself upright. “Let me get into a more appropriate form.”

The dragon glows with magic and rapidly shrinks to the size of a tall human. She sits and takes both of the plates into her lap.

tippler 2021/11/24(Wed)20:30 No. 1016091 ID: eedbeb
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Fishing a fork out from her hoard, she takes a hearty bite of your meal, then Weasel’s.

“Mmm! These are really good.”

The dragon wolfs down the contents of both plates then leans back with a contented sigh.

Now you do the shoulder bump tail touching thing. Also suggestive eyebrows.

Ok NOW make out.

Hug dragon.

>>1016099
Yes

Let's kneel and praise the dragon!

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)07:05 No. 1016114 ID: eedbeb
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“Er, do you require anything more from us, most honorable and mighty dragon?” Weasel asks.

“Yes, would you happen to know…” the dragon leans over and whispers conspiratorially. “If I missed anything important? Sometimes I sleep in for longer than I should.”

“I think things are okay. There’s a human village growing by the river but I haven’t heard about any wars or plagues.” you say. Weasel’s paw creeps into your own and you squeeze it.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)07:06 No. 1016116 ID: eedbeb
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The movement is not missed by the dragon, who gives you a cunning smile. “You know, I offer a variety of magical services to my favored minions.”

“Like what?” you ask.

The dragon starts counting on her fingers. “Birth control, vasectomy, hysterectomy, gender affirmation transformations, limb regrowth, fertility spells, assorted blessings...Or you can have something from my hoard.”

Heavens above, woman!
Let's accept something from the hoard instead.

Blessings?
Like, all my future children could have wings?

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)08:27 No. 1016125 ID: eedbeb
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“Blessings, does that mean you could give all my future children wings?” you ask.

“That’s a little excessive, I could certainly give you wings.” the dragon replies.

Weasel is gazing critically at the hoard. “There are some magic items and gold here, right?”

“Should be, buried with all the junk.”

Let's help the dragon tidy up her hoard into manageable assortments.

>>1016128
Yeah, maybe get a family heirloom or two for good service

Oh. Can she turn you into a dragon? Then you and the female dragon could live together happily ever after.

Blessings to the start of your new relationship should be all you need, but a dowry would be nice. You'll discuss kids when you get to know her better. Do hope she says yes.

If you get wings, only fair your partner gets a matching pair. Do they come feathery, or leathery?

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)11:03 No. 1016137 ID: eedbeb
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You turn to Weasel. “Do you—do you want us to be a thing?”

She nods and kisses you, which makes you forget all about the blessings.

“Oh! I forgot to mention abortions. I do abortions.” the dragon interrupts after a moment. “Family planning is very important. My bloodline is quite tough so if we’re not careful we can become overpopulated.”

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)11:03 No. 1016138 ID: eedbeb
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“Honorable dragon, I’d like to request some gold to start a cave with my new partner.” Weasel says.

“I would like wings for both of us.” you say.

“Certainly.” the dragon starts digging in the junk heap and produces two weighty gold coins, which she gives to Weasel.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)11:03 No. 1016139 ID: eedbeb
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The dragon furrows her brow and you feel a rush of magic. Ethereal wings sprout from your shoulders, as well as Weasel’s.

“You can hide them by saying ‘wings off’.” the dragon explains. “Otherwise people might get jealous. Also, they only have twenty charges each since you’re sharing.”

It is now time gather everyone and sing and dance around the dragon.

Invite everyone as is thanks tradition to do the ceremonial dance, a whole other group of bolds are in charge of that, and everyone else gets to watch and have food.

Partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)16:13 No. 1016149 ID: eedbeb
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You and Weasel practice flying around the cave. The magic wings seem to have some ingrained knowledge so they’re more forgiving than you’d expect and soon you’re chasing after Weasel in the air.

You land next to the dragon who’s muttering to herself. “Thanks Meal, what comes after that? Wasn’t there a dance or something—oh shit.”

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)16:13 No. 1016150 ID: eedbeb
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She picks up both of you under one arm. “I have to bless this fancy ceremony outside, I’ll fly us there.”

“Ok.” you squeak, ribs a tad compressed. Weasel squirms against you and you lose the ability of coherent thought for a few minutes.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)16:13 No. 1016151 ID: eedbeb
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The dragon flies out of a hole at the top of her cave, then circles around the mountain to the hill above river, where the kobolds have prepared a bonfire. You think you spot your home cave’s shine in the dark night.

The dragon drops the pair of you off a good distance away, winks, and leaps into the sky. The bonfire burns bright red and the kobolds whoop with joy.

Final choice:
-Sneak away with Weasel
-Join the celebrations

>>1016151
You have all the time in the world for makeouts, the thanks meal only comes once a year!

Maybe read the room, does weasel wanna go down to bone town, or just like go party, cause idk party sounds fun and ending with snuggles sounds v cute

Sneak away and begin the makeouts. It would not be a bad idea to get some contraception for today though.

Sneak away!

>>1016152
This.

If Weasel wants to make out, then make out. If Weasel wants to go party, then go party.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)17:40 No. 1016158 ID: eedbeb
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“Do you want to go to the party?” you ask.

“If you want, I guess there’s only one a year.” she says. You can tell she’s trying to be polite.

“Or…” you start.

“Or?”

You raise the jar of oil and the strange rubber sheath the dragon slipped to you before she took off.

tippler 2021/11/25(Thu)17:40 No. 1016159 ID: eedbeb
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Thanks for reading.

Lovable quest!