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395c02.jpg
Diamond Song
395c02
He takes a deep breath.
"Okay, Kharadra, I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance if I say anything that makes you upset. But. Honestly I almost don't know where to even start here. So. I thought, based on what Ceri had said, that maybe you just had bad margins or something, and so my first instinct was to go look at your accounting. Which I did. So, your first problem is you keep messing up your math when you do it by hand. Get a calculator. Please. For your own sake.
"Anyway, after redoing all of your accounting, I realized something pretty bad, second problem: you actually ran past the money you set aside for this place three months ago and it looks like you've just been pulling from your savings since then. So that's a problem, but don't panic yet. However, third problem, I do have to point out that you really shouldn't be using your own bank account for your business. I'm not from around here, but I am the kind of person who reads legal codes when he's bored, and you're not supposed to do that here any more than you are where I'm from. You can probably fix that in, like, ten minutes at the bank, though. I'm sure it's not going to be an issue to open a corporate account."
Oh! Your dad something something bank! Look you forget what he does exactly but he works there and can probably help! But, ah, maybe you should wait until Gulketi's done talking to bring it up.
He continues, "But, like I said, you're past out of money and in the red. That's okay. I mean, it's not okay, obviously, but it's not the end of the world, because if we fix some of your other problems that one should go away.
"Fourth problem, you've been overpaying your taxes. By, um, a lot. Like, ᵯ32,000 a lot. Again, though, I read the tax code (and, by the way, this place's tax code is hilarious if you're into that kind of thing), and if you fill out a form, which we can go get a copy of later, and collect all the right supporting documentation, they're obligated to give you all of that back. With interest. Which should help. That'll take about two weeks to process, though, since they obviously aren't going to be particularly thrilled about having to give money back to you if they're anything like any other revenue department.
"And on the subject of taxes. Fifth problem, your business is totally incorporated wrong. It doesn't really matter right now, but since you make a majority of what you sell yourself, you can qualify for a better tax structure, and when you get things going you'll really want to take advantage of that. Again, you can fix that with a form, documentation, and ᵯ35 in fees, which really should be no big deal.
"So, moving on. Sixth problem. Be honest with me here. Do you just feel bad for anyone you meet who sells cloth or something?" He continues before she can even open her beak. "I really appreciate your kind heart, but you're never going to make a profit if you buy every piece of cloth that enters your field of vision. With the exception of some of the really expensive special stuff, you have way too much of pretty much every kind of material you could possibly be using. So for that, you're going to want to find someone like a reseller who will buy most of it from you below cost. I'm pretty sure I can help you find that someone, too. You'll lose some money on it—don't give me that look, this is your own fault—but you'd be much better served with the cash than you would ten years' worth of spare cloth. Trust me.
"Seventh problem, kind of like the sixth. You don't need anywhere near this amount of pre-made inventory. I mean, really, it's got to feel great for Ceri that you were able to pull out a dozen sets of underwear that all fit her perfectly..."
It really does!
"...but how many other people have her exact measurements? Who else is going to buy all of this? You seem to want to run this business so that you mostly do bespoke work. So, again, you're going to want to offload most of this excess inventory onto someone who can actually find appropriate buyers, because you need to focus on the business you want to run. And, by the way, since you're making all of this yourself, are you properly factoring your time into your costs? It doesn't look like you are. Make sure you do that, later.
"Eighth problem, yes, I memorized a whole list. I noticed you have a subscription to Polymorphers Monthly in there, and you've just been kind of dumping them in with your books. Which, maybe don't do that, but more importantly, if you're going to pay for the subscription, you should really read more than just the fashion section! If you did, you'd know that there aren't really enough polymorphers in this town to possibly support your business even if you dropped your lease here and started operating out of your house. Hey, really, don't give me that look. I'm just telling the truth."
You're not sure how you feel about seeing this side of Gulketi. Or that you also subscribe to that magazine but only read the section on 'hot new body mods to arouse your partner'. Hey, don't judge.
"...But! If you read more of the magazine, like I did because I was suddenly worried you didn't even have a viable business model in any circumstance, you'd also know that the polymorpher community in this general area, by which I mean hundreds or even thousands of kilometers in any direction, is desperate for a place that can actually meet their specialty clothing needs. That rare fabric you have? There are people writing in to the editor about rumors of someone who can actually work with it. So, first, you need to get yourself promoted in this magazine yesterday, and beyond that, you need to see about taking out ads further afield than I think you've had in mind. You offer an uncommon service, and even though the market for it is small, you will get people traveling from far and wide just to come to your shop. I mean it.
"Also, you do alterations, right? You should promote that locally, since it doesn't look like there's a good place for that in this whole town. I'm sure neither Lizard Love nor the Mammal Emporium has someone on staff who can do good alterations, when all they sell is ready-made stuff. It's maybe not exactly what you had in mind when you opened the shop, but it could really be a niche for you.
"... I've kind of been going on for a while, haven't I. Getting through this whole list is going to take all day, and I haven't even gotten to future plans yet, really. Um. Look, you've got your work cut out for you, but I'm more than willing to come back here as many times as you need me to until we can get you back on track. How does that sound?"
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