"Boxes are boring"
be grateful i cant reach through the internet to slap the stupid off you, Begin operation Box Fort!

Fort Awesome isnt going to build itself!


...or is it?..

Take a box, open the bottom, and write "transmogrifier" on the side.

Where are you?

1/3 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)17:49 No. 515097 ID: 34cbef
File 137065256786.png - (11.91KB , 551x486 , 2.png )

Mojo: boxes are boring.

Poppy: but i'm boooooooooooored

Mojo: i got an idea

2/3 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)17:50 No. 515099 ID: 34cbef
File 137065265244.png - (9.08KB , 551x486 , 3.png )

Mojo: make a boxfort

Poppy: but we only have 2 boxes

Mojo: use your imagination

Poppy: i'm afraid of the dark

Mojo: hm

3/3 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)17:52 No. 515102 ID: 34cbef
File 137065274167.png - (6.21KB , 551x486 , 4.png )

Poppy: you wanna help me make a box fort?

Mojo: no

Poppy: why not?

Mojo: i'm relaxing

Poppy: come on pleaaaaaasssssse

Mojo: not interested

>_

Quickly, transmogrify Poppy into something less whiny!

I've got an idea

each of you go under one of the boxes and then have a box derby. first one who quits or box is destroyed winds, only rule you can't leave the box and can only left it up enough to see where you are going.

You can't transmogrify him unless the top is closed. It also needs a cardboard dial.

1/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)18:24 No. 515115 ID: 34cbef
File 137065464801.png - (9.19KB , 551x486 , 5.png )

Mojo: Beep boop beep, beginning transmogrification

Poppy: AAAAAHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO

2/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)18:26 No. 515116 ID: 34cbef
File 137065480178.png - (7.67KB , 551x486 , 6.png )

...

Poppy: hello

Mojo: did you get transmogrified?

Poppy: nope, the transmogrifier still needs a thingamabob and a watchamacallit. Instead you messed up my flim flam capulater.

Mojo: better go fix it

Poppy: okay

3/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)18:28 No. 515118 ID: 34cbef
File 137065492714.png - (4.83KB , 551x486 , 7.png )

Poppy: clang clang clang werka werka bong bonky bonk bonk

Mojo: ...

Poppy: peep boop plippity bonk bonky

Mojo: hm

Poppy: errrrrp plinka plinka BWEEP BWEEP BWEEP ATTACK MODULATER ACTIVATED

Mojo: hm?

4/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)18:29 No. 515119 ID: 34cbef
File 137065497684.png - (6.91KB , 551x486 , 8.png )

Mojo: HORRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG

5/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)18:31 No. 515120 ID: 34cbef
File 137065507371.png - (6.01KB , 551x486 , 9.png )

Poppy: sorry, I accidentally turned on the box derby mode

Mojo: ....

Poppy: you okay? mojo? .... Mojo?

>_

Engage healing box emergency room procedures!

1/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)19:18 No. 515133 ID: 34cbef
File 137065789961.png - (6.52KB , 551x486 , 10.png )

Poppy: Activating healing box procedures

2/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)19:20 No. 515135 ID: 34cbef
File 137065800955.png - (3.69KB , 551x486 , 11.png )

Poppy: plonk plonk plonk plonk

Mojo: hey, i'm fine get offa me

chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)19:23 No. 515138 ID: 34cbef
File 137065819316.png - (11.92KB , 551x486 , 12.png )

???: hoofffa, popper mojo, i'm home.

Popper: Mommy!!!

???: Mommy had a long day so she's very tired

4/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)19:24 No. 515140 ID: 34cbef
File 137065826246.png - (8.22KB , 551x486 , 13.png )

Popper: Mommy

Mojo: hey, wait for me

5/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)19:37 No. 515146 ID: 34cbef
File 137065903003.png - (11.18KB , 551x486 , 14.png )

Julia: pfahah, awwww- were you guys lonely without me? I missed you too. Blugh, my day was atrocious... it started with some people coming from grey mage coming to the church- trying to force themselves inside really- saying that they needed to see the great devourer. It took all the willpower mommy had just to keep myself from trying to kill them. They had big soldier guns and acted all big and soldiery so if I did anything they would probably be terrible about it. I got them to stay away from the church though, but after that Mark came to me again about making some sort of holy book. You know mark, always trying to force his agenda on me... If he wasn't protected by the great one he would be dead a long time ago. I bet he didn't have his way when the previous vesbyte was preaching.
...
Now that I think about it how old is mark, the computer records of him go back more then a century... and before that there were books...
Too much thinking, I bet you two are hungry, What do you guys want to eat?

>_

The flesh and blood of the innocent

>>515147
Yes yes yes! Delicious bunny cult sacrifices. Num num num.

uhh. how about some eggs?

never can go wrong with a pizza.

1/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)20:30 No. 515169 ID: 34cbef
File 137066220448.png - (10.65KB , 551x486 , 15.png )

Popper: I wanna eat what mommy eats

2/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)20:32 No. 515170 ID: 34cbef
File 137066233681.png - (10.50KB , 551x486 , 16.png )

Julia: of course you want me to work to make dinner, you two are only gonna get a teeny piece because i don't want you getting sick. I need to head to the basement quickly, just sit here til i get back.

4/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)20:36 No. 515172 ID: 34cbef
File 137066257881.png - (13.01KB , 551x486 , 18.png )

Julia: ...hello rochelle

Rochelle: MMMMMMM

Julia: I didn't want to spend all day trying to thaw your sister from the freezer, too much effort really. Don't worry, i'm also not in the mood to kill you either, I just want to get a little slab from you today.

5/5 chirps 2013/06/07(Fri)20:40 No. 515173 ID: 34cbef
File 137066283446.png - (9.74KB , 551x486 , 19.png )

Julia: ...here's the marker. The band saw is getting old, i might have to head over to the hardware warehouse to pick up another. What do i want seperated... arm... leg... maybe just a hand, i wanted to make stew today... so many little bones...

>_

... What?

Lop off the side of her leg, make steaks.

Something easy to tie off. Don't want her bleeding everywhere.

>>515173
can we have a doll-up view of Rochelle, so we can section the meaty parts accordingly?

I have no idea what Rochelle is, at that angle she looks like "Hello Cthulhu"

you want something easy to clean up for. don't want to leave a mess over night.

Looks like a human girl. A really big one. Maybe these are animals.

chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)02:06 No. 515224 ID: 34cbef
File 137068239048.png - (28.49KB , 753x687 , 20.png )

Julia: hmmmm

here's a better perspective of things

>_

>>515224
You have access to super-future space bandaids, ja?

Slice off some thigh and apply an industrial patch.

For stew-stock, chop off the left leg at the knee for the nice bone and stringy muscle there,
Remember to sanitize the feet before pulverizing and jellifying the feet cartilage/bone into roux to make the stew heartier.

>>515228
>>515224
Damn, i nearly forgot the most important bit!

Keep the leg above the level of rochelle's heart to reduce blood splatter, and reduce the blood loss to help keep the meat fresher!

1/10 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)05:28 No. 515233 ID: 34cbef
File 137069450121.png - (16.21KB , 531x464 , 21.png )

Julia: Come on, stop fidgetting around. If you continue being a pain this will be a lot worse.

2/10 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)05:30 No. 515234 ID: 34cbef
File 137069462286.png - (12.07KB , 531x464 , 22.png )

Julia: Now just relax, it will only hurt for a brief moment. Just... a quick... cut...

4/10 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)05:31 No. 515236 ID: 34cbef
File 137069469684.png - (576B , 412x372 , 24.png )

Julia: See? That wasn't so bad, now let me clean you up.

5/10 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)05:32 No. 515237 ID: 34cbef
File 137069472237.png - (6.59KB , 551x486 , 25.png )

Julia:...

6/10 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)05:33 No. 515238 ID: 34cbef
File 137069482177.png - (7.70KB , 551x486 , 26.png )

Julia: hold on you two, it's almost ready.

7/10 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)05:34 No. 515239 ID: 34cbef
File 137069488847.png - (10.55KB , 551x486 , 27.png )

Julia: There you go, now eat up. I don't want you two to starve now.

9/10 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)05:39 No. 515241 ID: 34cbef
File 137069519774.png - (15.78KB , 765x644 , 29.png )

Julia: Heh heh, so harold... how was your day?

Julia: Oh it was pretty busy, with all those women pining for me it's hard to get a break.

Julia: Well why don't you settle down? Get married or something?

Julia: That's a great idea, maybe i should marry that one girl who's always there for me and doesn't want to jump into my mouth like most of the other suicidal folk that gather around me.

Julia: Oh yes, she'd be perfect for you!

10/10 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)05:40 No. 515242 ID: 34cbef
File 137069523141.png - (8.09KB , 714x494 , 30.png )

Julia: .............

>_

Aw, Julia, you know Harold cares!

Flash back: Happen

Awww you look like you had a horrible day. So what did the nasty grey mage people want?

Also cute kids you got there.

Julia, you just mutilated some one and are eating part of their body, you also have the corpse of her sister in storage for the same purpose.
You do not deserve sympathy.

>>515318
Sympathy? A useful tool to convert enemies into allies.

2/4 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)13:36 No. 515346 ID: 34cbef
File 137072381143.png - (6.49KB , 555x499 , 32.png )

Julia: ........

3/4 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)13:39 No. 515347 ID: 34cbef
File 137072397532.png - (8.34KB , 744x615 , 33.png )

Chauncey: Moooooooooooooooooommy, you should gimme some of what you're eatin there. Come oooon, don't be stingy.

Chauncey: eat her arm.

4/4 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)13:53 No. 515351 ID: 34cbef
File 137072478354.png - (11.18KB , 744x615 , 34.png )

Julia: hm? No, you can't eat pea soup you'll get sick.

Chauncey: Gimme gimme

Julia: No chauncey, get down- off the table. When you kick the bucket i'm so not gonna get any more bag cats.

Chauncey: people food is tasty, and i'm gonna live forever.

Julia: What am i going to do with you...

>_

Somebody needs to have some good times, mary jane time.

What the heck is a bag cat anyway. Also are you a cultist yet or does that come later.

Indulge your terrible pet. That's what they're for.

Chauncey: topple the bowl

What do you normally feed the little guy?

1/5 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)16:16 No. 515411 ID: 34cbef
File 137073339144.png - (11.92KB , 511x555 , 35.png )

Julia: what, why are you looking at me like that?

2/5 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)16:21 No. 515413 ID: 34cbef
File 137073366235.png - (9.84KB , 512x489 , 36.png )

Chauncey: Mommy needs to stop being so uptight, here have some people food.

Julia: CHAUNCEY!?

3/5 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)16:25 No. 515417 ID: 34cbef
File 137073394239.png - (4.93KB , 512x489 , 37.png )

Chauncey: Nya nya

Julia: YOU ARE SO GROUNDED

Chauncey: then you get no kisses

Julia: No dinner then!

Chauncey: i'll avoid you like the plague

Julia: you get no treats, never ever

Chauncey: then you get no love, never ever ever

5/5 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)16:31 No. 515420 ID: 34cbef
File 137073429654.png - (12.89KB , 701x557 , 39.png )

Julia: I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

Chauncey: then why do you keep me around, i've been a stray before

Julia: Because!

Chauncey: becauuuuuuuuuse...?

Julia: CUSSSS NOBOBBY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Chauncey: Gimme more food, mommy

>_

Eat him in an act of rage, you don't need anyone. No one but yourself.

Wait are you in a abusive relationship with your cat? I mean that's how they usually go with cats but this one seems worse than usual. How did you end up like this?

chauncey is dinner now. you don't need to take this shit from him

kill him and eat his heart to regain what you lost.

Julia is all the abusive relationships.

Guy with the top hat 2013/06/08(Sat)16:59 No. 515436 ID: 574055
File 137073594598.png - (15.00KB , 832x618 , come here.png )

come her you little shit

Okay. I know I called your little guys terrible pets before, but I was joking. I call my pets terrible because it's fun.

This guy is actually terrible. It's an emotionally abusive boyfriend in cat form, making you take shit!

I'm glad he's gone outside of this flashback.

1/7 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)17:41 No. 515448 ID: 34cbef
File 137073847931.png - (6.94KB , 502x508 , 40.png )

Chauncey: Is it pets time? Under my cheek please.

2/7 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)17:42 No. 515449 ID: 34cbef
File 137073852841.png - (7.53KB , 502x508 , 41.png )

Chauncey: HUCK WHA-

3/7 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)17:44 No. 515450 ID: 34cbef
File 137073869144.png - (11.47KB , 558x548 , 42.png )

Julia: i hate you

Chauncey: BLUGH

Julia: you keep on-

Chauncey: HORGH

Julia: BEING MEAN TO ME

Chauncey: m-mummy p-pl-

Julia: YOU ARE GROUNDED, GROUNDED GROUNDED GROUNDED-

4/7 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)17:46 No. 515451 ID: 34cbef
File 137073879889.png - (10.21KB , 558x548 , 43.png )

Julia: I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME

7/7 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)17:53 No. 515455 ID: 34cbef
File 137073917903.png - (8.25KB , 558x548 , 46.png )

Julia: why can't I have nice things; god, bhudda, sim jong, devils mouth, someone... why can't anything like me... oh great mystical super jelly, i just want a friend... please... tell me what to do to get one...

>_

...Wow.
>>515424
>Wait are you in a abusive relationship with your cat?

What genetic engineer thought it was a good idea to give pets sentience to begin with.

Well. We just had an insane, desperately lonely murder-sex cultist murder her abusive talking pet.

I knew it was coming, but I really have no idea how to react to it now.

Poor girl needs a friend. And a lot of therapy.

She's probably not a murder sex cultist yet. It is 8 years ago after all. She's just a proto-murder-sex-cultist aka kills animals secretly.

Dry your tears, there wasn't anything you could do to get him to love you, he'd just take what you gave and still treat you like dirt. That said killing him wasn't the best idea. First things first, let's put him to rest. Bury him out back or dispose of him in a semi-polite manner.

So do you live out in the middle of nowhere? We got to get you out and about. You cant meet anyone home alone with your creepy cats.

2/2 chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)19:35 No. 515486 ID: 34cbef
File 137074533125.png - (10.95KB , 606x591 , 48.png )

Smiles: Hello

Julia: AH! ... oh... hello. What... what are you doing in the trash?

Smiles: My owner has thrown me away, so I am sitting here to be disposed of. What are you doing here in the trash?

Julia: ... but i'm not in the trash...

Smiles: you look like you are, what is making you sad?

Julia: ... hating myself for being a bad person.

Smiles: Why is that?

Julia: I just... i just killed the only friend I had left.

Smiles: You can make more friends, go out to public places. All peoples are hanging around there, i know because i've seen them.

Julia: ... b-but... i'm terrible with people...

Smiles: from my personal opinion i don't think you're so bad.

Julia: I-i...

Smiles: No I, go do people things. Before you go can i have that last friend you had left? I haven't eaten in a long time and am needing energy to tell the garbage people that I am garbage.

>_

Go ahead and give him the body. Also ask if he would make a good friend.

chirps 2013/06/08(Sat)21:02 No. 515496 ID: 34cbef
File 137075052101.png - (6.33KB , 393x373 , 49.png )

Julia: ... would you make a good friend?

Smiles: Well harold says i'm okay, so i take his word for it.

Julia: harold?

Smiles: Yeah, he's an expert on making friends. Like, he can make friends with all sorts of people people, even though they can't hear him talking.

Julia: ... is he mute?

Smiles: Not that i'm aware of, he just doesn't speak people. Oh and he also has a really neat club house! I could introduce you to him, but you have to behave or he might get angry. He's also very big, which intimidates alot of people people.

>_

Okay?

Um. Thank you for being nice to me.

Sounds good to me.

Ask for directions to the clubhouse and make friends, thank Smiles first of course

We should have smiles show us the way. The more the merrier.

Waitasec. You find something this nice that somebody just threw out on the curb and you're not snatching it before the sanitation department trucks it away? Show some frugality girl! You needed a new couch anyway!

Oh uh, you can save the guy too.

Offer to give Smiles the body if he escorts you to the club.

1/7 chirps 2013/06/09(Sun)04:24 No. 515556 ID: 34cbef
File 137077708615.png - (11.54KB , 393x373 , 50.png )

Julia: okay, but i want you to show me the way... then i'll give you the chauncey.

Smiles: Convenient, because that's who i would take it too aswell. Harold has a nice garden catered to by his friends. I always trade him dead things for a head of lettuce or two.

Julia: Okay, so what direction are we heading?

Smiles: ... No no, this will not happen. Can I be bold and ask that you ride on my back? You do not look like the bouncing type.

Julia: .... okay...

2/7 chirps 2013/06/09(Sun)04:30 No. 515558 ID: 34cbef
File 137077742574.png - (11.27KB , 671x588 , 51.png )

Smiles: Now hold onto me tight, because turbulence will happen.

Julia: What sort of animal are you?

Smiles: I am a pedigree hopping Smiles, it's a genetically bio-merged llama-dog. Are you ready?

Julia: do you have a name?

Smiles: name? yes, my name is mark. Are you ready?

Julia: my name is julia... nice to meet you mark.

Mark: Yes, it is nice to meet you too, Make ready for bounce!

3/7 chirps 2013/06/09(Sun)04:32 No. 515559 ID: 34cbef
File 137077752934.png - (15.05KB , 671x588 , 52.png )

Julia: i-is it safe over at this clu-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Mark: Are you holding on tight, julia?

5/7 chirps 2013/06/09(Sun)04:38 No. 515561 ID: 34cbef
File 137077788404.png - (7.05KB , 668x544 , 54.png )

Julia:....

Mark: Still holding on tight? It'll be a few more jumps before we reach the clubhouse, it's not a long journey but it's very very high up.

Julia: why are we so high up... i'm afraid of heights...

Mark: I need to smell where i'm going, there it is. Hold on tight, we are going even higher.

Julia: ..............

6/7 chirps 2013/06/09(Sun)04:42 No. 515562 ID: 34cbef
File 137077812831.png - (8.11KB , 668x544 , 55.png )

Mark: Hup, hup hup.... And here it is.

Julia: .....w-where?

Mark: the chimminny is the top of harold's clubhouse. So we have reached our destination.

Julia: ...a-are we going down at all?

Mark: Not yet, please be patient for me... please?

Julia: ...okay... what are we waiting for?

7/7 chirps 2013/06/09(Sun)04:44 No. 515564 ID: 34cbef
File 137077827902.png - (8.39KB , 668x544 , 56.png )

Mark: I wanted to wait for harold, he usually hops around like i do.

Julia: okay, i guess that's neat... is he a smiles too?

Mark: No, he is much too big to be a smiles.

Julia: oh... mark, i like the way you say chimney...

Mark: Thanks.

>_

>>515564
Tell mark to call out for Harold, and let him know you brought someone nice.

behind you

Ask Mark about himself while we are waiting for Harold.

danger, behind you

Turn around, Julia. Meet Harold.

1/2 chirps 2013/06/10(Mon)00:42 No. 515914 ID: 34cbef
File 137085013188.png - (16.45KB , 493x422 , 57.png )

Julia: so mark... what is harold like?

Mark: He is big... and um very popular... he is very nice and is a big prankster.

Julia: Oh, he sounds like a fun perso- AH SOMETHING TOUCHED ME!!

2/2 chirps 2013/06/10(Mon)00:44 No. 515916 ID: 34cbef
File 137085024351.png - (5.57KB , 493x422 , 58.png )

Julia: ....

Mark:... there's nothing there.

Julia: But i felt something...

Mark: hmmmm

>_

Mark said harold was a prankster. I bet he is playing a trick on you. Ask mark how they met.

Hmm. Something is playing a game with you, Julia.

Look down.

>>515916
That's probably Harold. He's playing a prank.

Smile?

Also what did the poke feel like?

1/6 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)03:35 No. 516814 ID: 34cbef
File 137120614145.png - (8.35KB , 483x376 , 59.png )

Mark: Oh, well we met long long long looooong time ago. This was when harold was just a little guy, about your size and could actually talk.

Julia: Oh... really?

Mark: hold on a second

2/6 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)03:38 No. 516815 ID: 34cbef
File 137120629588.png - (8.43KB , 689x376 , 60.png )

Mark: Boo

Harold: AH, ahahahaha, Yoh

Mark: trying to pull a fast one on me, huh?

Harold: Yah

Mark: Well too bad, i caught you. Now what are you gonna d-

4/6 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)03:40 No. 516817 ID: 34cbef
File 137120641177.png - (10.06KB , 550x560 , 62.png )

Julia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

5/6 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)03:41 No. 516818 ID: 34cbef
File 137120648295.png - (9.70KB , 550x560 , 63.png )

BOOOOOOOOOM

Harold: RAAAH!

6/6 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)03:42 No. 516819 ID: 34cbef
File 137120653826.png - (6.00KB , 550x560 , 64.png )

Julia: .......

>___

Well as first impressions go that was a big one. Check to see if Mark is ok and If Harold got hurt when he landed.

He's... huge!

And yeah, check that everyone is all right.

1/2 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)17:34 No. 516893 ID: 34cbef
File 137125646249.png - (9.79KB , 580x409 , 65.png )

Julia: Mark, you ok?

Mark: ....that was... unexpected. He must have been bored.

Julia: harold doesn't usually jump off of buildings, does he?

Mark: not that I recall, Harold... you ok?

2/2 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)17:36 No. 516895 ID: 34cbef
File 137125659098.png - (18.54KB , 868x598 , 66.png )

Julia:..... he's not moving, I think he knocked himself out.

Mark: How dumb of him, help me wake him up.

Julia: .... how do we get someone that big up...

Mark: hmmmm, I'll let you come up with the solution- you look like a smart girl julia.

>__

Reverse sleeping beauty him. Or maybe you could sing him a wake up song.

Did anything important happen the last time there was a colored/coloured quest update?

He likes pranks, why not tickle him awake?

>how do we get someone that big up...
Tickles.

Just don't get hit by flailing limbs when he wakes up.

Tickle away!

1/3 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)19:12 No. 516930 ID: 34cbef
File 137126237240.png - (25.68KB , 791x579 , 67.png )

>>516912
>>516913
>>516916
Harold:...GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

2/3 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)19:14 No. 516931 ID: 34cbef
File 137126245468.png - (21.95KB , 724x736 , 68.png )

Julia: h-hi

Harold: Yoh

3/3 chirps 2013/06/14(Fri)19:20 No. 516932 ID: 34cbef
File 137126281218.png - (11.29KB , 512x438 , 69.png )

Cloaked: How could I lose our god, sylvia is going to be soo angry with me. Um Lord, Are you out here? Great Devourer? If you don't come out we'll all be very sad. If you aren't out here, can you please give me your protection against the Priestesses anger? I mean it'd be much nicer if you showed yourself, but I guess i can deal with it.

>__

You cant just lose a god you know. He is obviously off doing god things. Like smiting things, causing plagues, or picking new prophets and such.

>>516932
A god's temple is his house.

Do you know what you call someone who never leaves their own house? A NEET.

Any respectable God is at least self-employed!

Only powerless 'Small Gods' sit around all day masturbating to the same choir of worship 24/7!

...are your friends looking for you? You playing hooky, big guy?

1/5 chirps 2013/06/16(Sun)12:45 No. 517304 ID: 34cbef
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Mark: Felicia, hello.

Fellicia: oh, hello mark. Have you seen god anywhere? He disappeared on me when i was taking him for a walk.

Mark: He's in the middle of making a new friend

Felicia: friend... as in another witch?

Mark: No no, she's seems more a preacher type- I think she'll be able to bring more people to harold if we push her in the right direction

Felicia: b-but thats... sylvia won't approve, we summoned him

2/5 chirps 2013/06/16(Sun)12:51 No. 517308 ID: 34cbef
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Mark: I don't like how you treat harold like he's some sort of tool to be used, he is better then you people

Felicia: NO NO, I didn't mean it like that... but sylvia-

Mark: Sylvia doesn't listen and I don't agree with what she thinks

Felicia: But she's our elder, she-

Mark: If this is about seniority based on age she is not who you must listen to. She was taught by her master who was taught by her master who was taught by the first which, and do you know who guided the first?

3/5 chirps 2013/06/16(Sun)13:02 No. 517313 ID: 34cbef
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Felicia: i-I'm sorry master mark, I keep forgetting... see i'm the youngest here a-and it's hard to tell because nobody knows what you are.

Mark: We all forget, i'm not holding it against you. Not this time at the very least.

Felicia: o-okay... what... what should i do then?

Mark: Just keep in mind that I wanna turn our home into a monestary, with pillows and things. We're gonna need lotsa floor space, so we might have to remove that awful stone alter that sylvia set up.

Felicia: sylvia won't be happy if she sees me redecorating the covey, you know she will come at you this time... with kill spells

Shouldn't you be in the trash, Mark?

4/5 chirps 2013/06/16(Sun)13:12 No. 517321 ID: 34cbef
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Mark: ...I can't die. every person that didn't listen to me decided to fight me when I tried to put everyone on the correct path, but i'm still here.

Felicia: But she knows hexes, and she is really strong even without the devourers blessing.

Mark: the last few hexes were turned into pretty flowers, and they tasted pretty decent.

Felicia: But she can use eldritch magicks

Mark: Doesn't affect me

Felicia: But the other witches say sylvia is almost as powerful as the first

Mark: I taught the first, retaining knowledge is not your strong suit- I said this just a minute ago. I can endure through whatever she wants to sling at me

Felicia: But but, you can't. Sylvia is just too strong

Mark: ...

5/5 chirps 2013/06/16(Sun)13:23 No. 517326 ID: 34cbef
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Mark: Felicia, you are a nice girl. Stupid, but nice, and also very caring. Every last person who has led this ragtag of people I found, i've been here since the beginning of this devouring witches council, i've been here when it was the witches of chaos, I've even been here when harold was still a small inkling that everyone didn't wanna be around. I sometimes find myself in humerous and odd situations, just recently I had the luxury of being someones pet. Eventually that ended and I found myself in the trash because it was easier to get close to this new person. I see too far ahead of any of your plans for you or anyone to comprehend it. Sure to you people it's just silly mark playing in the garden or sleeping all day but I'm never wrong with what I do. I can't lie, it's divinely ordained that I can't. Impossible, but when you stand here... just flagrantly disputing what i say it's like you're saying that I am a liar.

Are you calling me a liar, felicia?

>___

Sooo you worship a god besides the Devourer? I'm pretty sure that's blasphemy.

Felicia is this one of your god's guiding angels. I know the devourer does not say much but when the only guy who can talk to him says something you listen. I know you are scared of Sylvia but you better get over that quick before you get smote.

>just recently I had the luxury of being someones pet. Eventually that ended and I found myself in the trash because it was easier to get close to this new person.
...wait. Did Mark just say he was Chauncey? That he isolated Julia just so she would later be susceptible to rescue and joining Harold?

>Are you calling me a liar, felicia?
...no, I'm just. I'm sorry. I know you're right, but keeping faith is hard, sometimes.

I think he was another persons pet because his oracle powers let him know it would let him find Julia. Also pre-flashback Julia was complaining about Mark pushing his agenda on her. So he is pushing Harold and the Devourer church in a direction for his own reasons.

So Mark is a power in his own right helping Harold for his own reasons. He seems to be attempting to expand the church by improving there image as much as possible and having them write a bible and such.

>>517326
Have more faith in him Felicia.
Your doubts are just from inexperience.
Apologize, ask what you can do to make amends.

Mark, she is a brainwashed cultist; she has lost any concept of logic beyond "the high priestess says so".

You can ignore her as insignificant, or try to reboot her brain; anything else is as cruel as teaching a wingless dog to fly.

chirps 2013/06/17(Mon)11:07 No. 517595 ID: 34cbef
File 137149247696.png - (16.31KB , 691x495 , 75.png )

Felicia: No no no, i'm sorry i shouldn't have question you... m-master mark

Mark: We all make mistakes, my biggest one was believing the lies of my creator.

Felica:....uh...

Mark: sorry sorry, i just reminisce sometimes. I will need you to do something as an apology for me

Felicia: Yes, master, anything I can serve with.

Mark: Before we begin with changing this place into a church, factory and all, we need to indoctrinate our new leader to some new teachings that I came up with.

Felicia: How do i do that, m-lord?

Mark: I need you to have a relationship with her

Felicia: ...alright, I can be friends with the new head witch.

Mark: I will need you to be in an intimate relationship with her. Enjoying each others company, dating, sex... all that people romancing stuff.

Felica: what but I... I don't... I don't like girls

Mark: Do you like men?

Felicia: well no-

Mark: Then it's settled! I'll let you introduce yourself and the rest I leave in your hands.

Felicia: But Mark!? er i mean lord mark, I've never actually had... sex before... I mean with another girl... eheheh, I-I don't know how to date... girls... isn't there someone else who has... ya know... that sort of interest?

Mark: Felicia, this is not just to indoctrinate her, i'm also putting my paws into teaching you this new way to worship harold. You don't wanna get shunned by harold the god do you?

Felicia: n-no...

Mark: Good, then you can start courting the girl immediately- Her name is Julia and she is currently playing with harold just past the garden. I must take my leave to have a little chat with the rest of the witches, I believe turning them into missionaries sounds about right to me, toodoloo.

Felicia: ...what do I even...

>__

Go introduce yourself dummy. Do not worry about the other stuff just go make a friend. Maybe later you might end up liking her that way.

...just go where you're supposed to go, for now.

You can talk with her! Talking is easy. You'll um. See if any of the other stuff happens. But uh, relationships take time, right? If you just asked her to have sex or date you out of the blue she'd probably just say no, right? She'd be weirded out, anyone would!

So that means you have time to figure out what to do. Maybe if you're lucky, Julia won't even be interested! Or, um, she'll take the lead? That would make it easy...

Remember that Mark knows what he's doing so chances are you just need to meet her while keeping what he said in mind and things will move smoothly on there own.

1/2 chirps 2013/06/18(Tue)12:06 No. 517872 ID: 34cbef
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Julia: And it's not like I enjoy being alone, I dreadfully hate it... but I guess i'm unlucky when it comes to people, or pets in that regard. You think mark would want another owner?

Harold: Noh

Julia: huh, but he seems nice enough. Don't get me wrong, you are pretty awesome too but you're just too big to fit in my house. Plus you look like it'd be hard to feed you.

Harold: Yah

Julia: so are you like a giant or something?

Harold: Noh

Julia: ... Oh, a mutant!

Harold: Noh noh

2/2 chirps 2013/06/18(Tue)12:07 No. 517873 ID: 34cbef
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Felicia: He's actually a god, me and seven other witches take care of him while he's here with us.
Can I join this little party?

>__

Wait he's a what now? And witches you say? Ask Harold to do something godly.

Wait, a Witch? Please don't curse Julia!

>>517873
Julia still has her dead Bag-Cat.
Why?!

A god? How can he be a god?

Ask what's his ~*godly*~ power

1/4 chirps 2013/07/15(Mon)16:50 No. 524734 ID: 34cbef
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Julia: a god, huh? So what's up big guy, you a big ol' god?

Harold: Yah

Felicia: I wouldn't antagonize him...

Julia: He doesn't look like he minds.

Harold: Nah

Julia: Go on, show me something godlike. I wanna see some fancy stuff! Maybe a cloud of butterflies or something, I'd really like that.

3/4 chirps 2013/07/15(Mon)16:53 No. 524736 ID: 34cbef
File 137393242910.png - (21.11KB , 1059x663 , 80.png )

Chauncey: AH, YOU BItc-..... wha?

4/4 chirps 2013/07/15(Mon)16:55 No. 524737 ID: 34cbef
File 137393251391.png - (21.83KB , 1059x663 , 81.png )

Julia: aahh- aaaahhhhhh no no NOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WHAT DID YOU DO!?

>_

Oh hey he brought your "friend" back to life. That is pretty godly right there.

Don't be to upset with him for bringing back that abusive little asshole. You were carrying his body around looking sad. He probably is trying to make you happy by reviving him.

no see, Chauncey can't hep but be a dick, and he will be a dick to a god and get divine punishment.

tell him how much of a jackass Chauncey actually is and how he was going to be payment to Mark for taking you here

--or--

>Freak the fuck out

Julia, just kind of run out of steam and stare speechlessly at your abusive bagcat brought back to life.

Chauncey, you got a second chance. Either be good to her and apologize, or be a dick again and get eaten by Harold.

PORK CHOP SANDWICHES

1/8 chirps 2013/07/16(Tue)17:23 No. 524955 ID: 34cbef
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Felicia: How about I invite you to dinner

Julia: h-how is that possible... how... how

Felicia: Come come

Julia: ...o-okay

2/8 chirps 2013/07/16(Tue)17:24 No. 524956 ID: 34cbef
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Chauncey: ... was that mom? where the heck am i?

3/8 chirps 2013/07/16(Tue)17:28 No. 524958 ID: 34cbef
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Mark: Hello bagcat, remember me?

Chauncey: ... no, i'd remember an ugly mug like yours. And boy are you u-

4/8 chirps 2013/07/16(Tue)17:28 No. 524959 ID: 34cbef
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Chauncey: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHblugagaga

5/8 chirps 2013/07/16(Tue)17:32 No. 524960 ID: 34cbef
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Mark: ...

6/8 chirps 2013/07/16(Tue)17:38 No. 524963 ID: 34cbef
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Mark: If only you could take my place, but i'm trying...I am trying, but you can't handle all this power.

Harold: Yah-huh

7/8 chirps 2013/07/16(Tue)17:40 No. 524964 ID: 34cbef
File 137402160735.png - (11.77KB , 619x408 , 88.png )

Mark: Not even, I just hope that the next one is really dumb

Harold: hmmmm

8/8 chirps 2013/07/16(Tue)17:45 No. 524967 ID: 34cbef
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Felicia: So it isn't a really big meal, just some left overs that our god didn't want.

Julia: huh, what kind of leftovers

Felicia: just meat and such, you don't hate meat do you?

Julia: ...not really, but it's not something i go outta the way to get.

Priestess: FELICIA, what is an outsider doing here!? Where is our deity?

>_

"outside, he brought my pet back to life"

People, the left overs are people.
people he most likely raped first.
but you know what, tuck in Julia, tuck in and seal your fate, everything we have seen so far further convinces me that you do not deserve sympathy.

>>524967
The black robes on everyone are kinda creepy. It's almost like a cult or something. Say no thanks to the leftovers, you don't want to impose, especially after you dropped in here unannounced.

>>524967
He's out back, and he invited her.

>>524974

It is a cult, they kill people and rape others and some are quite willing to die for their god.

>>525041
(I know, and you know, but this is a comment to her who doesn't know and has not seen much to support it.)

Don't be silly it's impossible to kill and rape anyone. You have to rape them first then kill them!

Seriously though check whatever they feed you for severed eyeballs or something. You can never be too sure!

1/4 chirps 2013/07/18(Thu)04:12 No. 525229 ID: 34cbef
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Felicia: Mark said she was invited by the devourer... He also... I think mark wants to talk to you about it...

Priestess: Well I hope that Mark knows it's his responsibility for the new girl then, Which he has so graciously thrown on your shoulders. Where is the devourer now?

Felicia: He's in the tree sanctuary.

Priestess: Alright, there isn't a necessity to ask for his favor today.

2/4 chirps 2013/07/18(Thu)04:18 No. 525230 ID: 34cbef
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Priestess: Alright ladies, excluding the outsider, I wanted to bring to the table the discussion that mark pressed upon a few days ago.

Julia: ... is this a steak?

Felicia: Yes, it's actually pretty good- we do a decent job with the meat we get.

Priestess: ...You don't happen to like eating meat, do you?

Julia: um, well I don't usually eat meat- just the processed stuff in the cans... I guess i can try steak this one time. Why's the outside a funny color?

Priestess: It's rare that we are able to use leftovers from the devourer... he usually devours the whole sacrifice, it's a rare meat we don't usually get.

Felicia: It's pretty good, honest, try it out

3/4 chirps 2013/07/18(Thu)04:23 No. 525231 ID: 34cbef
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Julia: I'm still pretty wary of the weird color, it reminds me of something I saw on television... I forget what it was though- probably a news story about exotic farm animals maybe?

Felicia: ...maybe?

Priestess: Don't question the food, just eat it you punk.

Julia: Alright alright, thanks for the meal

Priestess: Alright, as soon as everyone settles in we'll begin the topic.

Witch: Ahhhh, yes, good ol leg steak. Classic

4/4 chirps 2013/07/18(Thu)04:36 No. 525233 ID: 34cbef
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Witch: So what are we talking about?

Priestess: The thing mark asked about a few days back

Witch: You mean about giving the big guy a little sex slave?

Priestess: Well no, he asked if one of us would become the devourers concubine, not sex slave, I think he has a point on having our own personal demigods for ourselves

Witch2: I don't think that's a good idea... I mean would it even be possible to mate with a god? Honestly we don't even know what he looks like naked...

Witch: Well with such a big guy, he might have... uh... yeah, a really big... you know.

Witch2: Would it even fit?

Priestess: I don't think it'd be horrible, maybe he isn't that big- like you said we haven't actually seen him naked or anything... Alright, How about we find out how big his... ahem... is by requesting he shows it to us

Witch2: eeeeehhhhhhhhhh, we don't even see the sacrificial process- why should we suddenly take interest in his dingle? I mean i'm not holding the idea of having little demigod pets but actually... giving birth to them?

Priestess: Well obviously we wouldn't be having sex with him, we'd probably get an outsider like we always do and force her to get it on

>_

uhhh, you are an outsider, i don't like where this is going.

>>525234
...yeah, this conversation is getting weird.

put some pepper on that steak

You aren't having gratuitous amounts of kinky demigod sex? What kind of cult is this???

1/3 chirps 2013/07/26(Fri)03:22 No. 527703 ID: 34cbef
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Julia: I'm... a little nervous with where you're going with this...

3/3 chirps 2013/07/26(Fri)03:33 No. 527706 ID: 34cbef
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Witch: Alright, so what if it isn't that small... do you think he'd be interested in our kind?

Priestess: Well I don't see why not, we can be sexy and stuff

Witch2: hmmm, crazy god sex- wonder what that's like

Priestess: How about a vote, I vote to go see the devourers member

Witch2: mmm, I'll say yeah

Witch: I-i dunno...

Priestess: so two outta five, counting the guest who hasn't voted yet

>__

Wouldn't he be mad if you just tried to randomly look at his junk like that.

While it would be curious to see how proportioned Harold is you just met the guy.

If they do take a peek though.

...I get a vote?

Nevermind the fact you're still trying to get over the god thing, now you have to deal with a cult and their weird peeping thing. You're not sure what to make of all this.

It is imperative you go ogle his junk! To do otherwise might cause a TIME PARADOX

Okay, I'm not particularly into junk-ogling or anything, but if someone told me I could peep a god's dick I'd have to go for it if only for the novelty.

1/2 chirps 2013/07/30(Tue)03:37 No. 529492 ID: 34cbef
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Julia: Wouldn't he be sorta against us just sneaking a peak?

Priestess: i'm sure the devourer will understand, we gotta gotta know him better- hey, it's not every day we get to see a gods personal package

Julia: I dunno... i guess i could tag along...

2/2 chirps 2013/07/30(Tue)03:40 No. 529495 ID: 34cbef
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Felicia: GAH!?

Witch2: Come on you two, we almost have it at a unanimous vote

Witch: i don't think it's a good idea

Felicia: We don't even see the sacrifice!

Witch2: If our god flashes us his junk there's no reason that mark will prevent us from watching the sacrifice- i mean how more personal can you get then seeing someone naked?

>_

bump?

What if you become the sacrifice, or if he becomes angry that you chose to go against marks will?

Proceed with caution there ladies.

If only sacrifices have ever seen him naked up until this point aren't you gals worried he may think you're a sacrifice if you see him naked?

Scene: proceed entirely with back-shots and off camera action.