Lizbeth 2012/09/13(Thu)10:01 No. 454257 ID: b3ca75
File 134755568989.png - (21.42KB , 800x600 , 1.png )

ERROR!

-o here we are… Any last words before I blow you brains out, traitor!
…that’s a laser. It’ll disintegrate me, not blow my brains out…
shut it, smart ass!
er… didn’t you just say that I should talk? Can you please make up your mind?
…just tell me your last words so I can kill you, traitor…

Insert wannabe standoff_

>Crtl-alt-delete!
We're using the command prompt, not windows. You want Ctrl-C to interrupt a process.

Uh, hello, Shadack (Pride), Jacob? Pre-sentience android Lizbeth? It's us again, the voices of magic.

Could you please calm down and tell us what's going on before resorting to violence? We've seen... rather a lot of it of late, and we'd like to avoid further death if possible.

[attempt to seize control of non-sentient android maid]

There may or may not be a mistake going on here involving time travel accidents, so we would like to hear what exactly we are dealing with.

Hey, uh, guys. What's going on?

Jacob, what did you do, you idiot? There, that robot next to the huge Virtue prototype... that's the scaled-down version, isn't it? I can't help but notice that the prototype is still hooked up, though. Planning to turn it into an oracle machine, perhaps? Something that can peer into multiple timelines and retrieve data that may or may not be useful?

Anyway, I'd like to report that we still don't have any concrete data on the apocalypse. We ran into some trouble before we could investigate the surface. Right now we're hoping it was an illusion or alternate timeline or SOMETHING that makes it not real, because we lost two close friends.

You guys wouldn't happen to know any way to resurrect people, would you?

>>454257
Heh, you think Ira's the traitor. That's so cute.
Fun fact: We have access to an oracle, and the oracle lists Ira's death as "Murder". Killing a traitor isn't murder.
Also, if he was actually a traitor it would have listed him as such.

So, Pride, tell us. What is it you think he did?
If you're pissed about people wanting you dead then you should be pissed at us - we know what horrible things you're going to do to the world, and we wanted you dead so all those people would be spared.
Or is it something different? We would like to hear what you have to say for yourself, if you would please.

[Possess Lizbeth]
[Solid Illusion: Mirror between Ira and Pride]

>…that’s a laser. It’ll disintegrate me, not blow my brains out…
Just jumping in to point out it'll actually burn a hole through you! To actually disintegrate you, it would have to be a fairly wide beam and pretty high powered. That or Pride would have to be very patient.

Fuck you, I'm not going to play that third stage again!

>>454291
> Fun fact: We have access to an oracle, and the oracle lists Ira's death as "Murder". Killing a traitor isn't murder.
> Also, if he was actually a traitor it would have listed him as such.
Flawless logic.

Lizbeth 2012/09/13(Thu)13:37 No. 454297 ID: b3ca75
File 134756861979.png - (21.42KB , 800x600 , 2.png )

>[switch to Kevros]
Unable to connect. Target is non-responsive
>[Possess Lizbeth]
Connection successful. You now have control over Maid bot 3000.
>[Solid Illusion: Mirror between Ira and Pride]
Error, Unable to execute action. Can’t find “Solid Illusion” program.

>Hey, uh, guys. What's going on?
AAH!! WHAT WAS THAT!?
oh, it’s only a part of the project, so calm down and stop waving that gun around. Someone might get hurt, you know.

>Could you please calm down and tell us what's going on before resorting to violence? We've seen... rather a lot of it of late, and we'd like to avoid further death if possible.
I’m sorry, but some deaths are going to be unavoidable, you know.
Like yours!
…perhaps.

Lizbeth 2012/09/13(Thu)13:37 No. 454298 ID: b3ca75
File 134756862917.png - (21.40KB , 800x600 , 3.png )

>Pride, tell us. What is it you think he did?
He sabotaged the project! He’s trying to destroy everything!
>Jacob, what did you do, you idiot?
oh, I just sabotaged the project. Don’t worry thought, I only removed and hid one of the foci crystals while at the same time I destroyed all the blue prints for creating them…
You confessed, Traitor!

>Killing a traitor isn't murder.
killing an unarmed one without any kind of trial in peace times would be.
>There, that robot next to the huge Virtue prototype... that's the scaled-down version, isn't it?
why, yes, that’s virtue main body. It’s almost done to.

>Planning to turn it into an oracle machine, perhaps? Something that can peer into multiple timelines and retrieve data that may or may not be useful?
…well, kind of. It is supposed to retrieve any data that the main body would need for its time shenanigans. Hmm, Oracle? That’s kind off a fitting name, isn’t it?
>You guys wouldn't happen to know any way to resurrect people, would you?
that was one of the uses for virtue, too bad it won’t ever be used thought…
what? Enough! I hope you’ll burn in hell with the rest of them, Jacob!

“click”
..err…
“click” “click” “click” “click”
…why doesn’t my gun work?

Insert click click cluck_

>…why doesn’t my gun work?
I'm going to assume Jacob outsmarted you and planned for this.

[Maid bot 3000, provide readout of available abilities, unit specifications and capabilities]

Jacob, this is important. What do you hope to accomplish by sabotaging the project?

>>454298
Jacob, I'd like to point out that because there are multiple timelines, the apocalypse happening in this one might be BECAUSE we told you it would happen no matter what you did, which made you abandon the Virtue project. Self-fulfilling prophecy, you see. The Virtue project might've actually worked!

I'd also like to note that despite you apparently being dead in our future, someone named Iracundus is still around. Plus, if Pride dies here, our future will be changed, and everything we told you becomes irrelevant.

On the other hand if you change our future that means we'll likely be able to avoid what just happened to our friends, if it really happened. Soooo... uh, I'm not sure whether to say to kill him or not!

I've gotta ask something now. Why sabotage the project? Is it just because of what we said?

I'm sure Jacob didn't take our word for it and figured out all on his own that activating Virtue would cause the very apocalypse we were babbling about. There's no way he would actually be trying to engineer the apocalypse by destroying Virtue because he's as fucking insane as future Jacob.

...just clonk him on the head with it Pride. Can't stop that from working.

[Maid bot 3000, raise serving tray in preparation to serve up some justice, and by justice I mean head injury.]

>>454314
Well, if he did figure it out on his own then he's already learned the three lessons he taught us.

One, get proof.
Two, never give up.
Three, look for alternatives before sacrificing something. Or maybe it was to make sure the sacrifice would work and be worth it. That lesson was taught a bit nebulously.

>>454298
There's a flaw in your plan, Jacob.
Namely, that you can't actually destroy information beyond the recovery abilities of a being outside of time.

On a related note, the main server and the oracle's connection to it aren't protected well enough.

I'm pretty sure we're getting closer to resurrecting your family, Jacob. Please don't backstab us now.

Pride, put the gun away. Jacob is the only person who can help you fix this, so you need to make sure he survives.

Pride, it's obvious. Jacob knows you're a hothead, and disabled your gun ahead of time, for his, and everyone else's, safety.

Now, Pride, you really do not want to kill Jacob. Why? Well, because he's the only one who knows where the stolen foci crystal is, and that knowledge would die with him. He might even have made a copy of the data on creating foci crystals before destroying the originals, and hid it as well. Either way, your superiors will want him interrogated, not summarily executed. So calm down, before you do something else rash.

Alright, Jacob, we have a problem. A big problem, and it looks like it's also your problem, since you sabotaged Project Virtue. We're sorry to say, but we just don't know if Project Virtue would have destroyed the world, saved the world, delayed the inevitable, destroyed it in its half-broken state, or done something entirely different.

Our knowledge of what has happened, and what will happen for you, almost all came from Oracle, and its data has become slightly suspect. There are things it can't answer, since its primary servers were destroyed along with the City of Town. Some of it's answers don't mesh with events we've observed. Best guess we have, is that after thousands of years of no maintenance, its broken in some way, and its recording data from possible and defunct time-lines as fact.

Bottom line: We just don't know if Project Virtue should be stopped or not. Jacob, we just hope you found your own evidence before doing what you did, because otherwise, we're sorry for misleading you.

>>454425
Actually, it's outright told us that it's manipulating us by withholding certain information.

Lizbeth 2012/09/14(Fri)06:53 No. 454497 ID: b3ca75
File 134763081432.png - (21.44KB , 800x600 , 4.png )

>[Maid bot 3000, provide readout of available abilities, unit specifications and capabilities]
Available abilities: Categories: Maid -74 different abilities (ex: clean, wash, dust) / entertainment -43 different abilities (ex: Sing, chess, dance) / Sex – 3542 different abilities (ex: subcategories: Sexual positions -187, spear cleaning ways – 253, exotic dances – 97)
>[Maid bot 3000, raise serving tray in preparation to serve up some justice, and by justice I mean head injury.]
Error, unable to find tray. Readying fist instead_

>I'm going to assume Jacob outsmarted you and planned for this.
of course, you said it yourself that this man would kill me, didn’t you?
>What do you hope to accomplish by sabotaging the project?
I hope that it will give us a chance in the future…

>The Virtue project might've actually worked!
…no, it wouldn’t. It requires way too much power. Power we can never control. It wouldn’t work.
>activating Virtue would cause the very apocalypse we were babbling about.
hah, no. Activating Virtue would more likely collapse all these timelines you’re talking about, unmaking everything that was, is and will be. That’s why I’m sabotaging it.

>you can't actually destroy information beyond the recovery abilities of a being outside of time.
I don’t need to. I only need to halt the project long enough for this apocalypse you’re talking about to happen.
>I'm pretty sure we're getting closer to resurrecting your family, Jacob. Please don't backstab us now.
…no, it’s too late for that. Besides, it’s too dangerous…

>...just clonk him on the head with it Pride. Can't stop that from working.
actually, that’s why I brought a gun myself…
whoa, wait! Don’t do anything rash, let’s talk about this, alright!?

Insert big boom_

Sorry if we've gotten a little more cautious since we last spoke, Jacob. Things got rather messy in the future, to the point we weren't actually sure if our efforts in the past would prevent or cause the future we wanted to avoid.

But if you're still actively trying to save the future, that's good! We can work with that.

Now, um. We've encountered Pride there in the future. Fatally shooting him now would change things, but it's hard to say if for the better or not.

The other complication we've discovered is we're not dealing with a single future. Somehow, after the Apocalypse, everything gets stuck in one big week long repeating time loop, that's apparently been going... quite a while. And there's at least one super-powerful asshole who's been trying to game this to his advantage.

So all killing Pride might do is dump us into the next slightly different iteration of the loop.

>>454497
Rash, Pride?
You tried to shoot Jacob; I think you need to rethink your strategy.

Lizbeth 2012/09/14(Fri)12:10 No. 454533 ID: b3ca75
File 134764980525.png - (21.59KB , 800x600 , 5.png )

“BANG!”

>Fatally shooting him now would change things, but it's hard to say if for the better or not.
Of course it is for the better. I don’t have to look at his stupid face anymore, which is positive, no?

…and…and I’m sorry for this, but I need to deactivate Lizbeth now… so, sorry voices… sorry liz…

Lizbeth 2012/09/14(Fri)12:10 No. 454534 ID: b3ca75
File 134764981314.png - (21.66KB , 800x600 , 6.png )

oh, and lizbeth? What do you want to drink?

Lizbeth 2012/09/14(Fri)12:10 No. 454535 ID: b3ca75
File 134764982013.png - (16.32KB , 550x400 , 7.png )

“BANG!”

AH! …What?
I asked what you wanted to drink, miss…
…oh, well… um… I’ll take something… strong?
…of course, miss…

Insert drinks_

>>454535
RUN TO KEVROS! RUN TO GRAVEN! RUN TO MAGGY!
WHY DID YOU LEAVE THEM? THEY ARE DYING OR DEAD! GO FIX THAT!

This is important Lizbeth, do you know where Kevros, Graven and Maggy are? Also what were you doing before you came to the arena?

MOVE

Lizbeth 2012/09/14(Fri)12:53 No. 454545 ID: b3ca75
File 134765242419.png - (15.73KB , 550x400 , 8.png )

LIZBETH!? Where are you!?
yeah, where are we?
…err…at the arena? The grand opening, you know? Big party? Everyone is invited?
oh…

>do you know where Kevros, Graven and Maggy are?
kevy is right next to me. I have no idea about Gravy and Maggy thought.
>RUN TO KEVROS!
…I’m standing right next to him…

>what were you doing before you came to the arena?
…err… I think I was snuggling with Maggy in a ball pit?
>MOVE
…where?
>THEY ARE DYING OR DEAD!
WHAT? WHERE!?

We need HELP! …please help me, liz
help with what?

Insert wut?_

Hes dreaming of Graven and him dying. While Maggy sleeps drugged beside them and you are no where to be found. Cupiditas was doing it. Make a memo Liz. When we get a chance we kill him.

Liz, how did you get here? From our perspective, one minute you were in the ball pit with Maggie. Then we jumped to Kev, who ran into the room to find Maggie unconscious, and you missing. Then Cupiditas showed up and murdered them.

...we don't really know what's happening, or what's real right now. We don't know if this is the dream, or what we saw before.

Hey, uh, do you remember the red Lizard pretending to be a dragon you killed with Kevros, Hans and Helga? You know, Pride? Because we might have sort of got him killed 4000-odd years ago and caused a time paradox. Kind of wondering if that all still happened now.

>>454545
WAKE UP!
ATTEMPT TO DISBELIEVE!
ALSO WAKE KEVROS UP!

If you're dreaming then things are completely fucked. If Kevros is dreaming then you need to save him from that horrible nightmare.

OK this is a long shot, but make a solid illusion of the hallway outside your impromptu ball pit, with Cupiditas hovering over Kevros about to gut him, while Graven lays dying in the corner, and Magwen lies trapped in an arcane slumber. Then magic bolt Cupiditas's ass.

Lizbeth 2012/09/14(Fri)14:11 No. 454571 ID: b3ca75
File 134765706668.png - (15.71KB , 550x400 , 8.png )

YOU BASTARD! I’M GOING TO SH- HHHhhh!
…er… Kevros? You okay there, cutie?

> WAKE UP!
…err… I’m already awake?
>Cupiditas was doing it. Make a memo Liz. When we get a chance we kill him.
Isn’t it kind of mean to kill him because something he did in a dream?

>Liz, how did you get here?
I don’t know. I was in the ball pit with Maggy one second and then I was here… I think I might have fallen asleep thought…
>do you remember the red Lizard pretending to be a dragon you killed.
You mean pride? Yeah, sure, I rem-
WARNING, Foreign entity “The one of many” is trying to take control over your body. Security measures engaged!
Ow…
That hurt… what was that?

Lizbeth 2012/09/14(Fri)14:11 No. 454572 ID: b3ca75
File 134765708084.png - (16.22KB , 550x400 , 9.png )

>OK this is a long shot, but make a solid illusion of the hallway outside your impromptu ball pit, with Cupiditas hovering over Kevros about to gut him, while Graven lays dying in the corner, and Magwen lies trapped in an arcane slumber. Then magic bolt Cupiditas's ass.
...okay... I can’t really see what that would accomplish, really... besides, the other guest probably wouldn’t be too happy about me creating a bunch of illusions out of nowhere.

>ALSO WAKE KEVROS UP!
I love you...
you have to wake up, Kevros, you’re having a nightmare.
…
kevros?
…
KEVROS!?
WHAT? LIZBETH? Oh thank gods, it was a dream… Is gravs okay? He’s not hurt is he? I still don’t know if his cute little butt is as smooth as the rest of him…

Insert graven got ze cute butt_

>>454572

Kevros, stop blurting out your love for Graven's butt.

I guess it was a dream after all, because Kevros while awake killed Cupiditas before succumbing to massive blood loss, so any grand illusiory dream world Cupiditas conjured up would start dissolving about now. Since that isn't happening, Cupiditas either isn't dead (and it was all a dream), or Cupiditas doesn't have you glamored (and it was still all a dream).

>>454585
...you're forgetting option number 3. That was all real, Kev and Gravs are still dead, and Liz is just stuck here in a Glamor with dream-Kev to fake us out into thinking everything is ok.

I guess we assume everything is ok though? If this isn't real right now, I don't know how to test that.

(Gods, when did the amusing little dungeon crawl turn into non-stop mind-fuckery).

Alright lets assume Gravy 'heh' is alright and so is Maggy. Lets go find 'em perhaps Mr Bartender has seen them.

Lizbeth 2012/09/14(Fri)15:11 No. 454600 ID: b3ca75
File 134766069198.png - (18.70KB , 550x400 , 10.png )

>Kevros, stop blurting out your love for Graven's butt.
oh, gods! D-did I say that out load? …please ignore it… I don’t swing that way…
>Lets go find 'em. Perhaps Mr Bartender has seen them.
let me check the register… we got a Graven Voiddrake sitting in the bar two rooms to the right. He is in the company of a Miss Hoarder. I can’t find anyone named Maggwen HoardWorthy thought… are you sure she is here?

>(Gods, when did the amusing little dungeon crawl turn into non-stop mind-fuckery).
Someone forgot to lock the door and let Cerebus inside. I blame Jacob.

Insert hey, the people in the background finally moved!_

Oh look its our 'daddy' and the big man himself. Lets pointedly ignore them and go find our friends. We kinda want to make sure they are alive before we deal with those two.

>>454600
We've got company! Ridcully, what looks like Iracundus, AND Clown, who is apparently involved in this somehow.

I'm not sure if we want to run, or if they're here to talk. Iracundus seemed quite fine with simply letting you loose, but in some other timeline Ridcully murdered like, all our friends. Clown is a wildcard and probably evil.

Cast Haste on yourself and Kevros just in case. Kevros first, since if they kill you you'll just rewind. Actually, Kevros, you might just want to get out of here. It's not safe for you.

Graven: Hey, you okay? We're having timeline issues.

>>454600
Lets go get Graven, who is obviously with Maggy.

Sex Clown up, this is the only rational course of action.

Oh, Liz, what do you remember happening after you downloaded the Precursor database to your brain? Here's what we remember:

Kev was wearing a maid outfit, and you two sexed it up for a bit.
After you were done, Graven came in with a black eye and said that Maggy needed some company.
We went over and she was upset because of what Graven told her, and you comforted her, then we suspected that someone invisible was in the room so we had you create a ball pit to check.
You got knocked out by the invisible guy, so we switched to Kev, and he and Graven went in to check on you. Maggy was drugged and asleep, Graven soon fell into a coma and stopped breathing due to the sleep drug on the flowers, then Kev tried to get everyone out and get medical help for Graven but was ambushed in the hallway. Graven died during the fight, Ridcully cut Kev's throat, but because Kev is a badass he pulled a desperation move and killed Ridcully in his last moments. Strangely, this destroyed Graven's corpse as well, despite it not being in the line of fire. Perhaps the desperation move consumes the corpse of a friend? It would be fitting, considering it's "Batman’s vengeance".

This was not a dream. We know this because our past self just tried to switch to you. It was an alternate timeline, and I'd like to know when it split off, and what happened to make it split. If it split recently, then Ridcully is probably still dangerous, and he may try to kill your friends again. If it split far into the past, possibly because Jacob killed Pride early, then who knows?

Speaking of Pride... Kev, do you remember the first mission you and Liz went on? With the dragon who turned out to be a red lizard who you killed via tripping them (with your unconscious body) into a pool so he drowned? If you don't remember Pride, then this is our newly-changed timeline. I wonder what else would be different?

Something is definitely up. That "foreign entity" here >>454571 that supposedly tried to take control of your body was us attempting to switch focus to you from whatever Kevros was dreaming of. When we tried to do that, we got the message you were occupied.

Start looking for inconsistencies and illusions. Ask Kevros how the both of you got here, since the last thing you remember is snuggling with Maggy in a solid illusion ball pit. While he's replying, glance around and use your illusion knowledge to try and identify any illusions that are in effect.

>>454688
Don't forget that when we switched focus to Maggy to speak to her, it caused her to recall memories of possible past and present time-lines. Something may have gotten temporally screwed up when that happened; I don't know. Oh, and I figured Graven dying was an illusion conjured up by Cupiditas, and when Cupiditas died, so did the illusion.

Lizbeth 2012/09/15(Sat)06:59 No. 454889 ID: b3ca75
File 134771754873.png - (18.06KB , 550x400 , 11.png )

>Sex Clown up, this is the only rational course of action.
Warning! Major damage detected on psyche! Purging all information concerning “sex clown up”. Damage repaired, crisis averted!

>try and identify any illusions that are in effect.
There is some on a few of the guest, mostly to cover up zits and the like. Nothing major thought.
>Cast Haste on yourself and Kevros just in case.
AAHHPleasewarnmenexttimeyoudothat!
sorry…

>Lets pointedly ignore them and go find our friends.
Yes, let’s ignore them completely. I don’t need them! And I ce- what? They ignored me! I know they saw me but they just went up to the bar! Those… those assholes! How dare they ignore me! Humph! I’m leaving.

Lizbeth 2012/09/15(Sat)06:59 No. 454890 ID: b3ca75
File 134771755820.png - (14.96KB , 550x400 , 12.png )

>Oh, Liz, what do you remember happening after you downloaded the Precursor database to your brain?
I remember everything you just said up until when I was snuggling with Maggy.
>Ask Kevros how the both of you got here.
…I don’t know… one second I’m dreaming this really realistic dream, the next I wake up here…
>Kev, do you remember the first mission you and Liz went on?
The one with the goblins? Oh yeah, I rem- ow, my head… err…wha? I remember that we both killed a normal dragon and pride… but… the things I remember don’t fit together… Weird…

…oh hey, there Graven and probably Maggy… hmm, they seems preoccupied in some really deep discussion. Should I really disturb them?

You can now control Lizbeth, Kevros, Graven and Maggy.

Insert do it, British word for smoke_

Oh man, she has an awesome mask! Did you know she had such a cool mask? I didn't know she had such a cool mask.

You probably should inform them that the past has kinda-sorta been massively altered due to... reasons. Incidentally, we're going to seem more crazy than usual, probably, because we remember things different than most other people.

>>454890
Hey, Graven! Why do you look so down?

Also, we altered the past. We need to ask what our first mission was since we just killed Pride over 4000 years ago.

Oracle: Would you kindly give us the updated dossiers on Jacob, Pride, and this Ira person who wasn't Jacob?

Also ask Graven how long it has been since the surface was destroyed.

Lizbeth 2012/09/15(Sat)12:43 No. 454924 ID: b3ca75
File 134773821835.png - (15.99KB , 550x400 , 13.png )

>Hey, Graven! Why do you look so down?
You’re alive!? I m-mean, of course you’re alive…err…w-why wouldn’t you be? …I apologize, I had a bad dream and is still a little bit groggy…
>Also ask Graven how long it has been since the surface was destroyed.
…err… no one know the exact dates, but it would be between 3000-3500 years ago…

>Also, we altered the past.
You did what? You mean you’ve had the power fix the past all this time and you haven’t use it yet? Why?
>We need to ask what our first mission was since we just killed Pride over 4000 years ago.
the one with the goblins? Why do you a- …oh. You changed something, didn’t you?
so that was what that was…

>Oracle: Would you kindly give us the updated dossiers on Jacob, Pride, and this Ira person who wasn't Jacob?
Unable to connect to primary server! Unable to answer query!

Graven? Is that you? My, you have changed, haven’t you? When was it we saw each other last… right after that accident in the lab, wasn’t it, hmm?
…fffffffffff-

Insert awkward reunion_

>>454924
I'm sorry Graven we don't exactly have control over the time travelling, so far it seems limited to jumping into precursor times when we first manifest and alternate timelines in the now. For example that vivid dream? We're pretty sure it was a crux point where two timelines overlapped and we switched to here.

>You did what? You mean you’ve had the power fix the past all this time and you haven’t use it yet? Why?
We have the power to change perspectives without warning, to lack the information to know what to change or what the consequences of our changes would be, and be limited to try and talk uncooperative crazy people into acting since we have no direct control.

And we have no idea if our attempt to prevent the Apocalypse is causing it in a stupid cyclical time paradox.

So yeah. That's our amazing power, Gravs.

Oracle listed Lizbeth's age as 4821, rather than something in the 3000s, so that would highly support the theory of Oracle mixing (intentionally or otherwise) information from different cycles.

Graven: Well, we can't fix the past as it pertains to the apocalypse. The precursors were trying to prevent it, but the method they were using was doomed to failure. We DID manage to get the main guy in charge to realize this, and avoid getting assassinated. I think we need to do something in the present to fix the surface. The investigation on that is ongoing. Trust us.

Liz, be prepared to set up some illusions to disable the guards. Davros is a big unknown, but he has us surrounded and that's not a good sign at all! Also, why don't we get straight to the point? Ask Davros straight up how many wives he's had.

Lizbeth 2012/09/15(Sat)14:04 No. 454944 ID: b3ca75
File 134774304603.png - (16.22KB , 550x400 , 14.png )

>So yeah. That's our amazing power, Gravs.
Well, crap. I was hoping for something more useful…
>Trust us.
I’m trying…

>prepared to set up some illusions to disable the guards.
Illusions ready to fire, just give the word!
>Ask Davros straight up how many wives he's had.
…err…Davros? H-how nice t-to see you ag-
Hey, Davros, how many wives have you had?
gods dammit, Lizbeth.
…err…one? Who are you again and why are you asking me something like that?

Insert people skill=zero_

Graven I suggest you say something like Oh don't mind Liz, she hears voices and does whatever they say no matter how... ill-advised they may be. Shes fairly harmless though.

Hey Maggie, which version of father is this? The kind one in the previous timeline or the nasty one you started remembering when we began talking to you. Sorry about that again by the way.

Lizbeth since you've established the fact taht you have no tact what so ever why don't you ask whats with the muscle.

Time traveller! Or insane. Probably insane. Who are you and why are you asking me that?

>Insert people skill=zero_
Tact was our dump stat. (But importantly, not charisma!). We're also working with a pretty hefty erraticness penalty. Worth it though.

>>454945
This seems the right approach.

Also, damn but does the lizard party look rocking all decked out in 16-bit formal wear. Dat mask.

>>454944
Hmm.

Oracle: How many wives has Davros had in this specific timeline? Did he murder any of them, in this timeline?

Liz, ask why he doesn't know who you are- I mean, he invited you here, right? If he STILL doesn't recognize you, act disappointed and introduce yourself as Aliz, and say that you were just asking to find out if you'd be the second or third. Yes, I'm saying hit on him for your cover story. Act like a big fangirl.

If he does recognize you then tell him you were asking to try to figure out what sort of guy he is. We'll likely have a fight on our hands once he figures us out though. These guys have been rather obscenely powerful compared to us, so I'd like to avoid that. I think we only won against Pride because he was a complete idiot. Davros doesn't strike me as an idiot- I mean, he brought backup despite his strength.

>>454949
No hitting on Maggwens father.

>>454950
Well an alternative cover story is to act like a reporter.

>>454944
Ok, that was a terrible idea, but since we're going the terrible idea route:
"Ha! Yea, Davs, I'm sure- Wait, you don't remember me?
Well, I suppose it was a long time ago.
I'm Lizbeth; Jacob's maid from when the two of you worked together.
You remember Graven, of course - it's not like you try to kill your underlings by rigging experiments to blow every day, right?
I think the lady Graven was talking to is a Miss HordeWorthy - looks like a damn fitting name; with her style I'd love to have her in my collection~
This lovely creature here is my fiancee Kevros, and the tux is a lovely fit for a paladin of Batman like himself. Is that a rental, Kev? I hope not; they're not getting it back~"

Just say that you had heard some very odd rumors about him.

Lizbeth 2012/09/15(Sat)14:50 No. 454962 ID: b3ca75
File 134774582386.png - (15.78KB , 550x400 , 15.png )

>Hey Maggie, which version of father is this?
I… I don’t know… the good one I hope…
>Dat mask.
Blast, where do you find a pair of sunglasses when you need them?
>No hitting on Maggwens father.
Agreed, that’s just weird… I mean, I already made out with his daughter…

>Oracle: How many wives has Davros had in this specific timeline? Did he murder any of them, in this timeline?
one, no.

> Just say that you had heard some very odd rumors about him.
really? And what did these… “rumors” say about me?
>Who are you and why are you asking me that?
guards…
Let us present, his Grace, His Excellency, The Duke of Crux Ansata, Lord Davros Hoarder.
…and your interrupting my conversation with my… “friend” Graven here.
>whats with the muscle.
oh, they are here to... “prevent” anyone from doing something stupid. Don’t mind them.

>Oh don't mind Liz, she hears voices and does whatever they say no matter how... ill-advised they may be.
Please accept my apologizes, but Lizbeth here hears voice and does whatever they say no matter how... ill-advised they may be.
…Lizbeth? Wait, you are the vessel? …I’m sorry I didn’t recognize you. Graven! I didn’t know you had such interesting friends! Please, introduce me to the other two as well so no one is left behind, hmm?

>since we're going the terrible idea route.
…That…that was indeed terrible, so no!
>with her style I'd love to have her in my collection~
>Is that a rental, Kev? I hope not; they're not getting it back~
…these I agree to, thought, just not out loud…

Insert less terrible, more tact_

He doesn't recognize his own daughter? How terrible. Well its up to you Maggie whether you remind him you are or choose a fake name to introduce yourself as. Kevros should be fine though.

Oh, you know, the rumor about you having dozens of secret wives? Some people say the strangest things.

This is Lizbeth's toyfriend Kevros, and your own daughter. They are pleased to meet you.

>>454962
Okay, it sounds like this is a good version of Davros. BAD ORACLE, NO DONUT.

Maggy, Graven: We just confirmed without a doubt that Davros only had one wife in this timeline, and didn't kill her. So, we have no reason to believe he is evil, at this point. Some alternate timelines had evil versions of him, apparently, but who the hell knows why that happened, eh? I believe all people have the capacity for evil, with the right trigger. Please don't let it worry you.

Tell him that he shouldn't crowd you with his guards. Where they are right now is fine, thank you. Let's just have a nice chat. How about we start by asking why he thought one of us would do something stupid?

>>454964
>>454984
Whoa, let's not tell him that's his daughter. She's hiding from him out of guilt, because she pushed his wife- her mother- into the machine. Exposing her will cause her to freak the fuck out. I mean, Davros probably doesn't know what she did, and honestly I don't want him to find out either.

Lizbeth 2012/09/15(Sat)16:28 No. 455002 ID: b3ca75
File 134775170948.png - (16.44KB , 550x400 , 16.png )

>BAD ORACLE, NO DONUT.
N-no donut? Sad D:
>He doesn't recognize his own daughter?
She is wearing a face covering mask. Without it he would probably recognize her.

>its up to you Maggie whether you remind him you are or choose a fake name to introduce yourself as.
…Maggy is my fake name… use that…
>Oh, you know, the rumor about you having dozens of secret wives? Some people say the strangest things.
Really? Never heard that one before...

>Tell him that he shouldn't crowd you with his guards. Where they are right now is fine, thank you.
oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.
>How about we start by asking why he thought one of us would do something stupid?
well, The Graven I knew was a little bit… “impulsive”, so to say.

>Whoa, let's not tell him that's his daughter.
>his is Lizbeth's toyfriend Kevros, and your own daughter. They are pleased to meet you.
Oh, this is Lizbeth toy-I mean boyfriend Kevros, a Paladin of batman...
I-it’s an honor, y-your excellency.
And this is my date, Maggwen Hoardworthy.
…
now, now, dear, don’t be shy. Should you please remove that mask, thought? I prefer to talk to my guest face to face, hmm?

Insert Under the red hood_

No, Oracle! Don't be sad! We love you! We're sorry!

>>455002
Time for your illusion work, Liz. Make it count!
Maggy: Liz is gonna do the illusion thing again.

Of note is that the scar is visible from behind too... Hmm. I hope nobody saw that. Maggy DID have her back to Davros at one point, so he may have seen it. How about you leave a partial scar behind her head? That would look least suspicious.

Come to think of it, give her a disguise so Davros doesn't recognize her. Different eye color, slightly different face, something. Aw hell, she's missing a horn too, and that's obvious right NOW. Maybe you could give her some facial scar/wound but make it obviously caused by a fighting accident rather than evidence that she's his daughter.

>Really? Never heard that one before...
That's okay, the person we heard it from kind of lives in a cave.

>Masks are rude
Hey, Davros is wearing a helmet! And if the lady prefers to cover her face, that's her own buisness.

>Illusionary face disguise.
Good option if she's forced to de-mask.

Maggy, if you ever wanted to reconnect with your father, now would be the time. However, if you don't wish to do so at this time, then we have a plan. Just don't speak, since Davros would know what you sound like, and Lizbeth can't fake that for you. Go along with Graven's act, and be ready to rush off like you're having a social anxiety panic attack if Davros keeps pressing the issue. As a last resort, Lizbeth'll place an illusion under the mask to alter your facial features.

Graven, you're going to have to run interference between Davros and Maggy, since Maggy can't speak without giving herself away. Step between Davros and Maggy, insist you take him aside, and in hushed tones, tell him that Maggy has some rather severe facial disfigurement, and quite a bit of psychological trouble due to it. Say that she's doing her best just being here, but without the mask she'll have a panic attack or worse. That even asking her to take it off is enough to put her on edge; She's going to be quiet the entire rest of the party now. Finish by asking that he apologize, and leave it at that.

Lizbeth, just in case Maggy's mask does end up coming off here, one way or another, place a solid illusion under it to alter her facial features. Davros hasn't seen her eyes yet, so change their color by putting tinted contacts over them. Extend the scarring across her whole face, keeping it under the mask, and alter it to look more like it came from fire burns and cuts. If you can do it convincingly, add a hole into the nasal cavity; That'll be good medical reason to keep a mask on.

Kevros, just keep a general eye out, and be ready to clear an exit, in case things go sideways.

>>455163
>contacts
Putting shit in her eyes? That would probably hurt! We can just put a non-solid illusion on her for that, I think. Just gotta make sure it follows her eyes. Can we manage that?

>>455002
Illusion Maggy's face to something that is clearly not her, but keep the scar on the back of her head. Then give Maggy some time to prepare herself via DISTRACTING CONVERSATION
"I gather Graven's much less impulsive and far more morose, although I suppose that doesn't mean much coming from me.
Sorry if I offend, but these voices keep telling me about things that they unhappened. Remember Pride? Apparently we killed him a few days ago for starting some death cult or whatever, but he annoyed the Many so much they had him killed ages ago. I guess we killed a dragon or something instead? Paradoxes make for messy bookkeeping.
We should sit down some time to talk about pasts that may or may not have happened and how you'd like to change the future-past."

Lizbeth 2012/09/16(Sun)09:32 No. 455256 ID: b3ca75
File 134781316834.png - (16.28KB , 550x400 , 17.png )

>No, Oracle! Don't be sad! We love you! We're sorry!
<3 :)

…how do you even pronounce that?

>Hey, Davros is wearing a helmet!
err… that’s not a helmet, liz. He isn’t wearing anything face covering at all.
wait… are you telling me his skin is gold plated!?
His skull, actually… and most of his body, too. His body is more like a construct than a lizard.
Wait, even his…?
Why do you think his wife started sleeping around?

>give her a disguise so Davros doesn't recognize her.
I’m ready if the mask comes off.
>Maggy, if you ever wanted to reconnect with your father, now would be the time.
…I…I don’t…k-know…

>Graven, Step between Davros and Maggy, insist you take him aside, and in hushed tones, tell him that Maggy has some rather severe facial disfigurement, and quite a bit of psychological trouble due to it.
My apologizes, your…err…grace, but Maggwen have some rather severe facial disfigurement with some heavy psychological trouble to boot. She’s already doing her best just being here, but without the mask she would probably have a panic attack… or worse.
…And here I thought you had a thing for stronger women, hmm? Of course, she is quite lucky, actually, as we just perfected a way to fix scaring of that magnitude!
…err…what, really?
Yes! Years of research, millions of gold, hundreds of people working on it, but in the end we finally succeeded. A simple operation to change your body anyway you want! Even removing permanent scaring!
…you really did that…?
Y-yes… I did it… for someone… “special”. But never mind that, we’re here to celebrate, not discuss business, hmm? If she wants to keep her mask on then so be it, as long as you promise me that we’ll talk later about fixing those scars. Now, where were we? Ah, yes, we were just about to discuss your… “relationship” with my dear departed wife, the gods bless her soul…
…err…

Insert abort! ABORT!_

Apoligize. You were young and foolish and simply did not think when you allowed yourself to be seduced. If you could do it all over again you would have avoided it at all costs.

Graven: What a coincidence. Liz can fix the scars too. She can create solid illusions of precursor tech, and so we were going to make a sort of skin graft golem to go over her face via precursor tech. That's what the liquid rubber was for. As for Davros's wife, it's generally a good idea to be honest and humble about admitting mistakes. Just don't talk about the possibility that you were partially responsible for her death. That situation was more complicated than you know. If you WANT to take the blame I won't stop you.

NINJA VANISH!

Oh crap wait, Magwen is the ninja.

Lizbeth 2012/09/16(Sun)13:56 No. 455305 ID: b3ca75
File 134782901688.png - (16.11KB , 550x400 , 18.png )

>be honest and humble about admitting mistakes.
>You were young and foolish and simply did not think when you allowed yourself to be seduced.
…P-please accept my m-most sincere apologies. I-I was young and f-foolish and… a-and didn’t think when I let it h-happen… so… a-apologies…
Well, then I’ll forgive you.
w-wha- really?
Of course! It’s a thing of the past, after all. You can’t let the mistakes from yesterday beat you down, instead learn from them and grow. That’s why I wanted to talk to you, so we both can finally move on and learn from this experience! …its feels good to finally let go of those chains, doesn’t it?
…I-I guess… Thank you…


>Graven: What a coincidence. Liz can fix the scars too.
What? You can- ops…
…
…err…
…E-Eliza?

>NINJA VANISH!
AAAHH!
…you do realize I can see through illusions, right?
Hngt!

Insert stop calling me daddy in bed_

Wow. This is definitely a dream. You may as well come clean Maggie er Eliza, because it'll all be gone and everyone you love dead when you awaken.

>>455305
Maggy: Welp, the jig is up. Don't run. Be brave, we're here for you.

>>455308
This one is acting like a (good) dream, but the 'everyone dies' one was also acting like a (bad) dream...
[/NEED TO GO DEEPER]

>>455305
Maggie: Go ahead and talk to your father. Apparently, your trauma was at least partially caused by a timeline that accidentally unhappened as a result of something we did in the past.
So, hey! Things are improving!

Liz: "Apparently, Davros, the information The Many have been using as a reason to mistrust you is out of date. A few days ago we were in a timeline where you had had 46 wives and nearly 100 children and murdered them all except for Maggy here. Apparently, their meddling with time resulted in you being a much better person and they hadn't rechecked their sources. Sorry!

After the party we're going to have to talk about preventing the coming second apocalypse, but for now you have a reunion."

Graven: Go to Maggy's side, and hold her hands. Physical contact will help!

Kevros: Keep looking snazzy.

>>455356
Thats a bit wrong, he has had only ever had 1 wife. However depending on the timeline he can have a daughter, or a son and murder both them and his wife or turn out nice.

>>455356
Let's not give this guy an existential crisis. He seems nice.

Also, I am pretty sure what we changed did not affect Maggy's past. There's a bunch of timelines and we haven't visited all of them, at least as far as we can remember. I guess it's POSSIBLE that the first pastdream we visited prevented Davros from becoming a dick, but there's no way to be sure. Maggy's past with her father hasn't been changed to her knowledge, anyway, so why even ponder the question?

Lizbeth 2012/09/16(Sun)16:58 No. 455370 ID: b3ca75
File 134783989997.png - (16.55KB , 550x400 , 19.png )

>Kevros: Keep looking snazzy.
Sunglasses equipped. +2 Sassiness!

>[/NEED TO GO DEEPER]
Unable to go deeper, already at maximum depth!

>Be brave, we're here for you.
…help me…
>Graven: Go to Maggy's side, and hold her hands. Physical contact will help!
…err… Eliza might just need a moment to catch her breath…
oh, yes, of course…

>Let's not give this guy an existential crisis. He seems nice.
pfff, existential crises for everyone!
>Liz: explain
…err… Sorry for interrupting your reunion, but apparently, Davros, the voices meddling with time res-
oh, I know about that, don’t worry. And I want to thank you… err… the voices, I mean, as without you I wouldn’t be who I am today, right? Of course, without you I used to be quite the lady killer, hmmm? I mean 46 wives? That has to be some kind of record.

>Maggie: Go ahead and talk to your father.
…dad.
Eliza…
I-I’m… I’m sorry for running away l-like that...
…And I’m sorry for neglecting you… I should have been there for you instead of trying to find something impossible…
…are you still tr-
No, I’m not. I have already let her go… I left her when you left… when I finally saw the consequences of what I was doing…
…uh…
…so…uh…err…. you and Graven, eh? Been…err… together long?
…

Insert Incoming crash! Take cover_

They are still feeling each other out. Maggie wasn't ready for a relationship and Graven was beating himself up over ... umm your wife and the the fact that Maggie got hurt.

Well its good to know we got something right with the time stuff. Is Irucandus still Jacob?

>>455370
This is your first date, isn't it!

>>455370
Wait, how does he know about the 46 wives thing? Who told him?

>>455392
We did.

>>455405
What? When? We said he had dozens, but not specifically 46. OH GOD, CAN HE HEAR US?!

>>455412
No I mean at sometime in our future or a past that we can't remember we probably told him about the wives thing. It explains how he changes so drastically. We interfered 3000 years ago thats a hell of a long time!

Gold plated huh? That would suck! He wouldn't be able to go in water, and electricity would fry him like nothing.

Liz, he knows you, he knows us, but he acted surprised when he met you. He sent the invitations to you right? Ask him why he invited you when he didn't know you, but knew you, because that's just confusing.

>>455441

Gold doesn't rust in water. That's the reason they use it in surgery, at a tech level where surgical steel isn't available. Not bio-active.

>We told/will tell him about going crazy and killing all his wives at some point in his past / our future
That's brilliant.

How do you write pre-determined actions for your players? By writing in something we'll have to do. No matter what, if we eventually show up with past Davros, someone would spill the beans and tell him the information. It's impossible for us to keep anything a secret.

>>455370
Graven & Maggy: You've been together since you were kids, but you both only recently realized the extent was mutual.

Liz: "Resurrection? Jacob said that was part of the goal of project Virtue; said it would take far too much power to work. I guess the only way to cure death is prev- ... Hmm..."
Drop down to low tones and move closer to Davros so Maggy can't hear.
"Davros, what was the experiment that blew up? What day was it on? Would you have survived the blast?
What if we could put you in that room with Graven?"

>>455445

Well, gold doesn't rust, no... but it might make it a bit harder to swim.

>>455520
No. Absolutely not. We are not going to offer to mess with time in that manner. He just said that he was at peace with his wife's death. Things look like they might actually turn out alright for them, I'm not willing to risk that.

Anyway, Graven and Maggwen are taking it slow, aren't they? Which is a good thing because they both have issues to work through. And stuff.

(Also, is anyone else amused that he used the term "lady killer"? Because I find it hilarious in all the wrong ways.)

Lizbeth 2012/09/17(Mon)07:01 No. 455578 ID: b3ca75
File 134789051633.png - (17.59KB , 550x400 , 20.png )

>OH GOD, CAN HE HEAR US?!
…
I take that as a no. I actually have to say what you say to him directly.

>This is your first date, isn't it!
…err… well, yes? I guess? Not really what I had in mind for a date… but… yeah…
>Is Irucandus still Jacob?
As far as I know it always been Jacob.

>Wait, how does he know about the 46 wives thing?
I can still remember it… actually, I can still remember most of the other timelines… well, parts of them. For some reason everything having anything to do with either you or virtue is kind off blurry.
>Ask him why he invited you when he didn't know you, but knew you, because that's just confusing.
I didn’t know how you looked like, as we have actually never met before.

>We are not going to offer to mess with time in that manner.
I concur and besides, I don’t think we have enough control over the time travel thingy to actually do it.

>Things look like they might actually turn out alright for them.
Yes, finally something going right for once! Let’s just hope that nothing suddenly emerges from left field out of no-
Stop right there, Criminal Scum! You have violated the LAW!
Oh, for F sake!

We, the paladin order of the seven, herby place Eliza Hoarder under arrest on the count of murder! The verdict has already been cast and you are facing the death penalty!
w-what!?
come with us willingly and it will be far less painful.
y-you can’t ju-
Let me remind you that aiding a criminal on purpose is a crime punishable by DEATH! So shut it, freak!

Insert bad lizard, bad lizard_

>>455578
Well, she IS an assassin.

Alright Liz, time for us to crash this party. The barman didn't have a Maggwen on the guest list. She's listed as Eliza. That's how the paladins found her. So Davros doesn't have to be involved at all. He'll probably help us out, in fact.

Ask them what murder they're talking about. Just to be sure this is just her assassin job catching up to her. Then we'll probably have to disable the paladins, have Kevros bust an escape route down between the tables, and RUN RUN RUN! Unless I guess Davros has a way of defusing the situation. That would be optimal!

Who is the alleged victim of this murder? On whose authority, and under the laws of what kingdom, country, or organization do you intend make this arrest? Let's see some identification, and credentials, here, bub. We can probably find some way to use rule lawyering to prove that they're outside their jurisdiction, or something.

If that doesn't work, point out this is Maggwen Hoardworthy, not Eliza.

If all else fails? We can cast very large solid illusions on the size of the room. We can kill or disable all the paladins at once if we so desire. Also, including Davoros and his forces, we outnumber these guys 11 to 9, and we've got a core of powerful adventures.

Kevros is a paladin, right? He should know all the codes and stuff, he might be able to pull some ruleslawyering to get a stay or injunction or something to at least buy some time.

If that doesn't work, Liz should pretend to attempt to assist the paladins in capturing Maggwen. Shout something like, "I'll get her!" But she should "mess up" her illusion and make a giant cloud of smoke or something so Maggwen can make her escape. That way you have plausible deniability.

Lizbeth 2012/09/17(Mon)12:05 No. 455619 ID: b3ca75
File 134790874251.png - (17.63KB , 550x400 , 21.png )

>Davros has a way of defusing the situation.
Please, calm down. I’m sure we can discu-
Shut it, old man, I now about your abundant bribery. Try it on me and I’ll server your head from your body where you stand!
humph…

>Who is the alleged victim of this murder?
a powerful aristocrat. You do not need to know more.
>On whose authority, and under the laws of what kingdom, country, or organization do you intend make this arrest?
Under the authority given to us by the emperor himself! We are the LAW!
>Let's see some identification, and credentials, here, bub.
I’m High Templar Serge and the only credential you need is getting my sword shoved up your ass if you don’t stop with the questions!
w-what? HIGH Templar?
>If that doesn't work, point out this is Maggwen Hoardworthy, not Eliza.
yes, we already know about her fake name. You are not fooling anyone with it, women!

>Kevros is a paladin, right? He should know all the codes and stuff.
hey, Kevros, you’re a pa-
KEVROS? The failure is here?
err…
I’m sorry, but I didn’t recognize you when you’re not in fetal position crying about mommy. Pathetic! No wonder your parents killed themselves, freak.
Hey, don’t talk about him li-
oh, how cute, your whore is trying to defend you. How much did you pay for this one? 3 gold? Disgusting!
hey, ow! Let me go, you’re hurting me!
LET HER GO THIS INS-
One more step closer and I’ll gut you like the pig you are, abomination! Now, are you coming willingly, ”Eliza”, or do I have to gut a whore?

>Then we'll probably have to disable the paladins, have Kevros bust an escape route down between the tables, and RUN RUN RUN!
Well, this would be optimal to do before I got a sword to the throat…

Insert Lawful Douchebag_

>>455578
Liz: "Davros, let us try to resolve this first. We're adventurers, and you can do more good if you're not being harassed by paladins."
Kevros: "OBJECTION! Conviction in absentia is forbidden for capital crimes!
Who is she accused of killing? What is the evidence against her? Under what nation's laws are you acting? On whose authority? Where is your warrant? Can you prove that you even have the right person?"

Liz: Make a shadow pass over Kevros so he can change into his armor. I'm pretty sure shadow-based quickchanging is a free level 1 feat for paladins of Batman.

Kevros: "We are vengeance. We are the night. I am a Paladin of Batman!"

If they don't have a warrant then they're trespassing, and since they're being huge jerks and threatening people who aren't doing anything wrong I'm pretty certain they're close to being legitimate targets.

Now, if they threaten or attack Kevros for obeying his code by preventing injustice that's proof that they're actually corrupt, and if they're corrupt then Kevros gets the blessing of Batman for fighting them and the other paladins of Batman will start using their super-detective powers to investigate these schmucks.
They can't track US down if they've started a war with the Paladins of Batman.

Serge: Hello, this is THE Seven. What sort of nonsense do you think you're doing? This is completely unacceptable behavior on your part; apologize and leave before you fall.

Coat your skin in armor, make it spiky so he gets an eyeful, illusions are fun!

Similtaneously fill the air with pink smoke.

Kevros you are not a failure. In that timeline you killed Cupiditas, one of the most fearsome foes you can face. You could not see him, he had awesome magical power and he had you at his mercy and you still killed him. You did it for Liz, for Graven and for yourself. Don't let these showoffs get you down.

Now Liz is about to sow a bit of confusion with illusions so get ready to make a path. We need to get out of here.

Maggwen I think it best if you silently disappear during the confusion. We will gather together later.

Graven, any luck with lightning yet? They all have such wonderfully conductice suits.

In addition to armoring herself, Liz should restrict the movement of the hostile paladins. Encase them in blocks of stone! Or steel! Or... holy relics made of steel they aren't legally allowed to damage!

>>455619
"This is not acceptable behavior."
His armor is now a Golem. The neck hole is its jaw and teeth. It wants nothing more than to put its hands on it's meal and chomp down as hard as possible. Its personality is "Chewy".
Solid illusion of OBSIDIAN-EDGED GLASS SHARDS inside the other blue guys clothing.

"You're bullies, and you're corrupt. I didn't know paladins could be evil, but there you go.
You should have stuck to just words. They hurt, but I don't know how to make them lethal."

Lets put illusions of Styrofoam or pillows over their swords as well.

>>455622
>>455623
>>455624
How about not doing anything that's so obvious, harmful, or deadly. Killing the high paladin of The Seven is bound to come 'round and bite us all in the ass.

Liz, go for something subtler. Place a solid illusion around his, and all this pala-goons, blades that blunts them. A thin, super strong, encasement that rounds the edges off, and looks exactly the same as the metal will do.

Also create the solid illusion of a layer of clear super-slick lubricant on the floor around the feet of these paladins, so they slip up if they rush. Something that sticks, like smoothed petroleum jelly, with a layer of oil over the top.

Though, be prepared for them to have anti-illusion abilities, both personal, and enchanted on their armor, that'll negate what you're doing. Same for golemancy on their stuff.

"I wont be threatened. I am your elder and better. I speak the will of the gods and you will know your place."

Encase all of him but his head in a block of solid steel.
It's a bit melodramatic, sure, and we don't actually care about us apparently being gods, but he's a paladin so it should mess with the dude. Or not. Not like we care what someone in a block of metal thinks.

We should go with a subtle enchantment, in case they have anti-illusion gear. The sword-cover sounds good, though it should be a slightly different color from the sword so we can tell if it worked.

Lizbeth 2012/09/17(Mon)13:26 No. 455645 ID: b3ca75
File 134791357272.png - (17.08KB , 550x400 , 22.png )

>Liz: Make a shadow pass over Kevros so he can change into his armor.
Done and done!
err… where did my armor come from?
>Conviction in absentia is forbidden for capital crimes!
actually, it isn’t…
>Where is your warrant?
A what now? I don’t think they need whatever that is…
>I won’t be threatened. I am your elder and better. I speak the will of the gods a-
HERETIC! You shall burn for those words, harlot!

>Encase all of him but his head in a block of solid steel.
>Simultaneously fill the air with pink smoke.
>Place a solid illusion around his, and all this pala-goons, blades that blunts them.
>Encase them in blocks of steel!

Serge’s will is to strong! Serge disbelieves the Illusion!
Paladins 1-8 have been immobilized!
Paladins 1-8 weapons have been neutralized!
Lizbeth cast magic missile on serge crotch for 18 critical damage!
Serge is limping!

what do you think yo-off! Son of a Kevros!
That’s for calling me a whore!

>Maggwen I think it best if you silently disappear during the confusion. We will gather together later.
She’s already gone…
>We need to get out of here.
Agreed! Let’s a go!

COME BACK HERE, WHORES!
B-boss! Don’t leave us!

Lizbeth 2012/09/17(Mon)13:26 No. 455646 ID: b3ca75
File 134791358208.png - (19.35KB , 550x400 , 23.png )

Well, “huff”, we just p-pissed off one of the most powerful groups on the planet... swell…
I-I don’t think they were working under the order jurisdiction, they were way out of line…
we still pissed people off… we better get out of here before they find us again…
actually, This would be the most ideal hiding place for the moment. I’ll just erase you from the lists so they can’t find you.
…err… shouldn’t they just… you know… walk around?
Do you know how big this place is? There are over two hundred rooms and nearly five thousands guest with more coming every minute. Those paladins have nowhere near the man power to search everything. Besides, we can always hang out in the private section, the guard won’t let them in there! I’ve got nearly anything you would ever want in there, like dance, food, theater, the amazing teleporting opera squad, games of all kind and lots of alcohol, just say the word and I’ll lead you to whatever you want. Just don’t go into section 34D, they have an orgy going on there right now and… well…err…

Insert choices, choices_

Orgy! Join the orgy, paladins would never look for you there!

Well, most the paladins are immobile until they're carefully cut out of steel, or they find someone powerful enough to dispel our illusions.

Liz... when did you learn magic missile?

Let's go hide in a private room somewhere. Is there any way we can leave Maggie a clue on where to rendezvous that dorky Paladins won't be able to figure out?

Oh look its those three again. I don't feel like bothering with them right now.

Hey Graven do you know where Maggie is?

>>455646
Let's go chat with those three Precursors. I'm... assuming Clown is a precursor too?

Wait actually, first, we know Iracundus is on your/our side. Use Ghost Sound to whisper in his ear, asking if it's safe to chat. Tell him to just nod once if so.

Speaking of which... Oracle: Jacob was dead, but Jacob is Iracundus. Explain. Was he undead or something in the previous timeline? Is he dead in this timeline? Heck, just give us those dossiers again for this timeline, for all the Virtue-related precursors.

>>455656
Not connected to main server.

Oh.

Maggy: Hey, did you get away okay? This place is big so it might be hard to regroup... we're by a bar? There's a clown at the bar, that should stand out.

I would hope that was abnormal behavior for them. Paladins do have a 'reputation', but taking civilian hostages as an opening move seems like a bit much even for them.

>>455649
We got magic missile at level 3. (And we probably should have remembered we got Blink at level 2)

>>455673
...it took me entirely too long to find the level up messages to confirm. We should post an updated spell in diss or the wiki.

>>455680
I just did that after posting.

>>455683
Oh! Thank you. Good timing.

Missing the familiar given feats, though. (+10% gold, will of the pig, and rule lawyer).

Remember, as far as I know, solid illusions Liz casts only last as long as she's nearby to keep the up. Those paladins are either free already, or will be as soon as the spell fades. Serge won't even be limping, 'cause I assume a high level paladin can heal themselves. So we gotta get a move on.

Liz, I'm guessing this "list" Davros mentions is part of a system like the register-o-matic back in the guild cafeteria, but confim with him that it is. If it is, I have a cunning plan to misdirect the paladins using it. This next bit we'll tell to everyone in Liz's group, via Many-voice(tm.)

Now, I'm assuming that Serge either has one of his guys monitoring the register list for your group's movements, or will have one soon. So what you'll do is have Davros get you into the private section, then Davros swaps your signatures with those of some people in an adjacent room; Preferably choose people who aren't going to be leaving any time soon. It'll look like your group went in, and some other people came out at the same time. For extra possible embarrassment, swap IDs with some people in section 34D, if that's in the private section.

Your merry band slips away into the night, while the paladins either sit around covering the exits, or try to rush the place and get trounced by the guards.

Don't join the orgy! He said you were prostitutes. That's the first place he'd look.

Oh RIGHT also before I forget again, ask Davros what's up with that Clown guy. You know he's associated with them somehow but there is no information on him in Oracle's database.

Wait. Search OUR database for information on Clown, please.

Lizbeth 2012/09/17(Mon)23:54 No. 455891 ID: b3ca75
File 134795124183.png - (19.86KB , 550x400 , 24.png )

>I just updated the wiki
<3

>Don't join the orgy! He said you were prostitutes. That's the first place he'd look.
The paladins aren’t celibate either so the grunts are probably going to check the orgy a lot if they have the chance, if you know what I mean.
>I would hope that was abnormal behavior for them. Paladins do have a 'reputation', but taking civilian hostages as an opening move seems like a bit much even for them.
actually, I think he only took you hostage because you are connected with me. He doesn’t really like me that much, which I’m sure you should tell.

>Is there any way we can leave Maggie a clue on where to rendezvous that dorky Paladins won't be able to figure out?
Don’t worry about that, I’ll go get her in a moment.
>Oracle: Jacob was dead, but Jacob is Iracundus. Explain.
Death is not final.

>Search OUR database for information on Clown, please.
I’m only finding stuff about normal clowns.
>ask Davros what's up with that Clown guy.
…err… I don’t really know anything about her. The only thing I know is that she apparently was the main founder of project virtue.

>I'm guessing this "list" Davros mentions is part of a system like the register-o-matic back in the guild cafeteria.
That’s exactly what it is, actually. I think it’s even the same brand.
>swaps your signatures with those of some people in an adjacent room.
>For extra possible embarrassment, swap IDs with some people in section 34D, if that's in the private section.
No matter how humorous that would be I can’t allow it. I’m going to let you endanger my guest with those insane paladins. I will on the other hand make it look like your fleeing out into the street, forcing them outside instead.
But that will force us to stay here…
Exactly! I can’t let my exalted guest leave this soon, hmm?

>Use Ghost Sound to whisper in his ear, asking if it's safe to chat. Tell him to just nod once if so.
It depends of your definition of safe…
Oh… apparently he also has ghost sound…
These two would probably want to kill you sooner or later to get to the voices, but they will probably not make their move yet… at least not in front of each other.

Insert to talk or not to talk, that’s the insert_

Thats silly, we're so attached to Liz we have her rewind time itself to prevent her death. That or we're jumping to a similiar timeline that is simply at an earlier point. Its dificult to tell with time travel mixed with alternate time lines.

...since when did we trust Ira as far as we could throw his giant evil dream haunting ass?

Eh, refuge in audacity. Let's go for it.

'Sup Ridcully/Lust/Cupiditas, Jacob/Virtue/Iracundus, and Alyssa. How's it going?

>>Search OUR database for information on Clown, please.
>I’m only finding stuff about normal clowns.
You want to run a search for Alyssa Clown.

Alright, I'm going to take a small logical leap here and say that since Alyssa is Envy, she wants our power. She wants to become a god. Envy.

I'm tempted to maybe think about killing Ridcully and Clown right here right now, but I don't think we're strong enough. We just found out that those with a strong will can simply disbelieve our reality-hax illusions. That's a big problem! We probably can't use it against strong opponents. I think we may have to try a different upgrade path for getting the upper hand over that sort of opponent. Time magic, maybe... With perfect prediction, any battle is winnable so long as it's possible to dodge attacks and do damage.

I wonder why Pride couldn't see through the illusion of Liz that bluffed him into drowning, but Davros would've? Was he the weakest precursor? That's a frightening thought. I wonder if our best bet is to use the past-window to gradually turn the enemy precursors against eachother so we don't have to deal with them at all. That's a bit of a dick move though... Or maybe make them good, like how we accidentally fixed Davros by... telling him he becomes a dick? Ridcully would be our next target for conversion, I think. Perhaps simply telling him about his Fate would work? That if he tried to achieve ultimate power, he'll just die? We might even be able to turn him against Clown, if we convinced him she would become his rival for ultimate power...

Liz, ask who killed Jacob in this timeline. Also, bring up the fact that we just rewind whenever anything bad happens to you. Killing you never accomplishes anything. Wait, no. Don't bring that up. NEVER tell anyone that, in fact. If our enemies discover that fact, they will seek to threaten you indirectly. Like through your friends. That'd be bad. Ask Jacob how he came back to life, anyway. Or is he a lich?

>>455891
So, Ira, did Jacob die in this timeline? How? Who did it? Also, don't those two realize that getting their hands on us would be bad for them?
On a related note, Davros is a much better person in this timeline, but how far can we actually trust him?
Are you still out for revenge, or has your goal shifted?
What can you tell us about the second apocalypse? Do you know what will cause it?

No, we won't trust your answers, but they're another data point.

Maggy: Your dad seems to be a decent person in this timeline. You should consider hugging him.

Graven: Ask Davros if the thing that can fix scars can also fix eyes. Tell him your own efforts worked out pretty badly for you.

>Alright, I'm going to take a small logical leap here and say that since Alyssa is Envy, she wants our power.
No leap necessary! A quick check of the Oracle logs confirms that Alyssa Clown is Envy.

I forgot to include that. Let me correct my irrelevant greeting...

'Sup Ridcully/Lust/Cupiditas, Jacob/Virtue/Iracundus, and Alyssa/Envy/Clown. How's it going?

Lizbeth 2012/09/18(Tue)12:39 No. 455944 ID: b3ca75
File 134799717586.png - (19.38KB , 550x400 , 25.png )

>You want to run a search for Alyssa Clown.
…still can’t find anything, is seems whoever uploaded all this data into me didn’t include anything about her.
>Graven: Ask Davros if the thing that can fix scars can also fix eyes.
…technically, yes, we would need someone else to donate their eyes to use thought. Eyes are a lot more difficult to artificially… “grow” then skin is, hmm?

>who killed Jacob in this timeline.
I’m dead? Huh, didn’t notice… probably the alcohol that finally did it…
>Also, don't those two realize that getting their hands on us would be bad for them?
They are shortsighted and power hungry. They probably haven’t planned longer then to nab you and see what happens.

>Davros is a much better person in this timeline, but how far can we actually trust him?
You can trust him just as much as the rest of us, which isn’t much. Remember that his motivation is material wealth, no matter what he says.
>Are you still out for revenge?
Still? I don’t remember ever telling you my plans… thought, in a way you would say that, yes, I’m after revenge.
> evil dream haunting
…err, I don’t remember ever doing something like that… besides, I can’t mess with dreams, that’s more sloths gimmick then mine.

>What can you tell us about the second apocalypse? Do you know what will cause it?
Magic is dying. None of us can survive without it, at least as long as the surface is uninhabitable. I do not know what the cause of it is, or how to prevent it, though.

>'Sup Ridcully/Lust/Cupiditas, Jacob/Virtue/Iracundus, and Alyssa/Envy/Clown. How's it going?
...now that was anticlimactic. Here I thought you would actually attack us, but no… how boring.
please excuse him, he’s kind off drunk right now.
pfff, I’m not drunk… envy there is drunk! I think she just feel unconscious even! But never mind that, you’re here for that surface explo- exploration thingy, am I right?
…err…
Don’t look at me like that, you always do a exped- expedition thingy to the surface at this time, in every timeline, without fail. You’re kind off predictable that way. And yes, I’ll help you get up there and you’ll find something important and get back here and I’ll ambush you and you’ll probable kill me and then fail further down the path so everything repeat itself again… gods, I hate my life…
See? He’s completely smashed!
This beer taste like piss!

Insert drunken talk_

@Wrath: If they think want us that badly, what if we were to hop into their heads for a bit right now to prove them wrong?

>>455944
Tell Ridcully that he probably shouldn't ambush you then. I mean, why do it, if we just wind up killing him? If he ever managed to get ahold of us, he'd just die anyway.
Evil Overlord Rule #22: No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.

He should help us instead! That goes for Alyssa too. If all of you precursor guys worked together with us, we might be able to actually FIX things.

Hey, is that Alyssa's real face or a mask?

Do another ghost sound talk with Iracundus- ask him what he wants revenge for, when he didn't get murdered at all this time around.

Alright Liz, ask these two questions, even though the replies should be taken with a large grain of salt:

@Jacob/Wrath/Iracundus: When did magic start declining, and how much time is left in this cycle until it dies?

@Ridcully/Lust/Cupiditas: How come, even with repeated foresight, you keep doing the same actions that get you killed, and possibly lead to our failure, every cycle?

[Internal voice: Oracle, from what power source was Project Virtue meant to draw from?]

Also, Liz, I feel the need to remind you that Davros is named as Greed, and should be treated as questionably trustworthy as these three. He's making me suspicious at how he keeps trying to steer you into staying here for some reason. Just be on guard, okay.

>>455944
Ridcully: Ah, see, there's a few problems for that.
First and foremost being that we have no intention of going to the surface.
Second? This time around you're going to be ingenious and tell us what we would have found on the surface so you can find out what we do with that information when you're normally dead.

Jacob: Tell us about the first apocalypse. Did you ever figure out what set it in motion? Have the years since then solved any of the big mysteries it presented?
How far back would somebody have to go in order for something like Project Virtue to successfully prevent the apocalypse?
Also? What exactly WAS the first apocalypse?

Davros: Graven's eyes are still there; are you saying they're too damaged to fix?
Hmm... We're pretty close to solving the problem on our own; we'd be happy to share what we know if it'll let Graven see again.

>>456063
>no intention of going to the surface
Uhhhh... yes we do. We were going to ask Graven about protective gear and maybe go up and just take a look around.

Also I thought we could just make new eyes out of those marbles?

Lizbeth 2012/09/19(Wed)11:18 No. 456111 ID: b3ca75
File 134807871844.png - (19.02KB , 550x400 , 26.png )

>I thought we could just make new eyes out of those marbles?
well, If you want marbles for eyes, then sure, that would work. It wouldn’t look as nice as genuine eyes, though.
>Davros: Graven's eyes are still there; are you saying they're too damaged to fix?
They are to damage to even use as organic scrap parts. There is no way those eyes will ever see again.
>we'd be happy to share what we know if it'll let Graven see again.
not really necessary, but I thank you for the effort. We already have everything we need to fix his sight except for the base materials, in this case, eyes. But don’t worry, that wouldn’t pose a too big of a problem. Everyone has eyes, after all, ripe for the picking, hmm?
...that sounded quite morally questionable…

>Wrath: If they think want us that badly, what if we were to hop into their heads for a bit right now to prove them wrong?
That would be hilarious, yes, but that’s not the reason they need you. They need you to channel the power from the source of magic for… whatever purpose they have. World domination or something I guess…
>ask him what he wants revenge for, when he didn't get murdered at all this time around.
Do you really need to die to be murdered?
>When did magic start declining, and how much time is left in this cycle until it dies?
It started with the first apocalypse and it will end in a few day. I do not have the exact date or time, though.
>Tell us about the first apocalypse.
War. War never changes. The earth was nearly wiped clean of life. A great cleansing, an atomic spark struck by human hands, quickly raged out of control. Spears of nuclear fire ra-
Please stop quoting stuff and get to the point.
…your no fun, you know that? Whatever, a bunch of magical bombs went boom and made the surface toxic thanks to the magical fallout. Happy?
>How far back would somebody have to go in order to successfully prevent the apocalypse?
Far enough to completely destroy the time stream and erasing existence…

>Ridcully: How come, even with repeated foresight, you keep doing the same actions that get you killed, and possibly lead to our failure, every cycle?
because that’s how I was written. I can’t leave the roll I was given… not willingly, at least.
>This time around you're going to be ingenious and tell us what we would have found on the surface.
except that I don’t know what you found, only that it was important in some aspect.
>Hey, is that Alyssa's real face or a mask?
…good question… I have no idea, really…
is that even her real body?

>Oracle, from what power source was Project Virtue meant to draw from?
You / the one of many / the magic source / the souls of the past.

Insert obvious reference_

>>456111
Jacob: Magic bombs? Shit, then where Virtue failed we might be able to succeed. If we defuse the bombs it'll never happen.
Also, care to help us with a script revision? See, when we eventually DO go to the surface we're going to come back to Rid ambushing us and dying in the attempt. Since you've already gone off-script you can help us here.
When we leave, we want you to get Rid drunk and slip him a roofie. If he's too unconscious and also drunk to ambush us then he won't die when he's supposed to and that line of prophecy will be severed; break the script and we can turn him from opposition into an asset.

We are going to go Back to the Future 3 on these rails.

>>456111
Hey Graven, mind examining Clown with your magic radar? Don't get too down about the eyes thing. We can just like, take them from the next person that tries to kill us. Or just, I dunno, use glass eyes. Those look fairly realistic, and would work as well as marbles I expect. I'm leaning towards just taking them from someone who we wind up killing in self defense, though. That's not even morally questionable, just kinda gross!

Ask Davros if it's feasible to get Maggy's scars repaired while we're here, without getting caught by the paladins.

Oracle: For what purpose are you manipulating us?

Hmm. Tempting to kill Clown while she's unconscious. She can't disbelieve an illusion if she can't see it... Just ask the others if we ever beat her in a fair fight.

We're still flailing in the dark here about what specific set of circumstances can save the world but it seems like a surface expedition couldn't hurt to say the least. Don't let Ridicully get you down though. I've got a plan for how to deal with that.

Well, Graven, both eyes don't have to come from the same person. I'm sure there has to be two lizard-folk out there that need coin more than depth perception. It'd mean you'd have eyes that aren't exactly the same color, but that isn't a huge deal. However, in case we do end up offing a compatible lizard-guy, think you could whip up a cryo-stasis spell to keep his peepers on ice until they can be "installed?"

>Magic... "will end in a few days."
Alright, so time's short. We can't be dicking around hiding from Paladin Douchebag. Gotta get up to the surface and find whatever this important thing is. We just have to not encounter Ridcully after we do. Perhaps there's a way to get back down that isn't through the Mage's Guild.

Davros, we know that there's one way up to the surface through the Mage's Guild, but are there other ways? Perhaps ways to get back down from the surface, that aren't ways to get up? What I'm thinking is that we take the protection gear from Ridcully, go up, then come back down another route, to avoid him.

Oracle, was Project Virtue ever activated, either in a completed form, incomplete form, or broken form?

Could project virtue itself have drained the magic from the world?

Any details on the surface toxin? If we know what, specifically, it is, then we can probably counter it better.

Err I know this is probably obvious, but if the bombs that destroyed the surface were magical, and the radiation is magical in nature wouldn't it all disapear when magic 'runs out.' Can't you all go to the surface, survive off supplies and try farming? The old fashioned way I mean. I'm sure you all have non-magical plants down here that are provided nourishment \ light via magical means.

Lizbeth 2012/09/20(Thu)11:46 No. 456297 ID: b3ca75
File 134816676873.png - (18.10KB , 550x400 , 27.png )

>Oracle, was Project Virtue ever activated.
Virtue is currently active and will achieve its prime objective within a few days.
>Oracle: For what purpose are you manipulating us?
To a achieve the prime objective: end all suffering. It is necessary to prevent the death of magic to achieve this object.
>Could project virtue itself have drained the magic from the world?
The power necessary for virtues current goal far exceeds the magical quantity currently existing in the world. It reacquires a direct link to the magical source to function.

>Hey Graven, mind examining Clown with your magic radar?
…it’s a non-magical doll. I don’t even think it’s animated earthier… I mean, has anyone actually seen it move?
>Tempting to kill Clown while she's unconscious. She can't disbelieve an illusion if she can't see it... Just ask the others if we ever beat her in a fair fight.
fair? If you get her to fight fair I’ll eat my hat!
..You aren’t wearing a hat.
exactly! Nothing to lose!

>Jacob: Magic bombs? Shit, then where Virtue failed we might be able to succeed. If we defuse the bombs it'll never happen.
…And how do you stop people making new ones?
>Also, care to help us with a script revision?
not really, no. His death is necessary for what to come.

…well, it’s been fun but we got to get moving now. We don’t want to miss the main attraction after all, eh? Also, dibs on not carrying envy.
aw, man…
He’s right you know, you can’t miss the opening battle. Come, I got a private room with a perfect view of the arena!
wait, I wasn’t fi-
That can wait. You don’t want to miss this, trust me.
at least stop shoving me!

Lizbeth 2012/09/20(Thu)11:46 No. 456298 ID: b3ca75
File 134816677896.png - (13.24KB , 550x400 , 28.png )

>Ask Davros if it's feasible to get Maggy's scars repaired while we're here.
The procedure will take a whole day to accomplish, so no, now is not the time.
>However, in case we do end up offing a compatible lizard-guy, think you could whip up a cryo-stasis spell to keep his peepers on ice until they can be "installed?"
sure, that wouldn’t be to hard…
I got over eighteen thousand lizard under my employ, I’m sure I can scramble together a pair of eyes.
>Davros, we know that there's one way up to the surface through the Mage's Guild, but are there other ways?
well, there is a few neutral cave systems, but those takes days to go through.

>Any details on the surface toxin?
well, toxin would be the wrong word, only the ignorant really use it…
>the radiation is magical in nature wouldn't it all disappear when magic 'runs out.'
Actually, magical radiation is kind off a misnomer as it is quite the opposite then what you think it is. Magical radiation is actually the extreme absence of magic, which is dangerous as it drains magic from anything that enters it to compensate. It’s even deadly if the absence is big enough as it will start to drain the very life essence of a person, as that is what magic technically is made of.

As interesting it would be discussing magic theory with you, I have to find Eliza. Oh, and I’ll send some guards up here for extra protection to, just in case. Bye for now, and enjoy the show.
…great, now I’ll feel like the third wheel with only the happy couple here…
well, we should always make it a tricycle…
…please, stop that. Yes, I’m sorry I find you attractive, so should you stop teasing me about it? I know that you aren’t interested in me like that! …it’s just mean…

Insert blarg!_

Err Graven I'm pretty sure both Liz and Kevros find you attractive. But that can wait because I dislike the way Davros is acting, its... suspicious. I have a feeling you might be part of the etertainment very soon.

Maggie: They are alone now if you want to catch up. But it might be best to stay hidden for now, be warned your father is looking for you. I suspect foul play in our future and having a ninja in the shadows probably will help.

>>456298
Well maybe not yet, but Kevros might be.

Liz, thoughts on Graven? Friend, or more? He is pretty smart... A bit overly serious and rough around the edges, though.

Graven: I find it interesting that three out of four of our party has expressed significant interest in both sexes, even if Kev won't admit it. Are you the odd man out, and totally straight?

Oracle: What is Virtue's prime objective?

Primary Objective
>end all suffering

Oracle what method is Virtue going to use to 'end all suffering.' The few I can think of aare not the best outcome since being alive generally means suffering at one point or another even if its something non-physical like heartbreak.

Oracle: error, ending necessary suffering causes suffering. suffering causes happiness, happiness causes suffering, terefore necessary suffering should not be ended. malformed input parameters! garbage input! raise exception, abort abort!

Lizbeth 2012/09/20(Thu)14:05 No. 456315 ID: b3ca75
File 134817513632.png - (13.13KB , 550x400 , 29.png )

>Oracle what method is Virtue going to use to 'end all suffering.
Error, classified information. Require rank five access to access.
>suffering causes happiness, happiness causes suffering.
Negative. Happiness and suffering is not mutual. One can be removed without affecting the other.
>abort abort!
Error, classified action. Require rank five access to activate.

>Liz, thoughts on Graven? Friend, or more? He is pretty smart... A bit overly serious and rough around the edges, though.
well, he can be a bit of a jerk…
why, thank you.
But his heart is in the right place. Besides, Kevros was right, his scales are really smooth…
please stop rubbing my nose…
…so smooth…
>Liz finds you attractive.
she just said she didn’t…
actually, you are kind of attractive… I mean, just think what you can do with that intelligence of yours in the bed room…
…

>Kevros finds you attractive.
…what?
Don’t listen to it! It’s telling you lies! Filthy lies! I don’t swing that way! Honest!
…right.
>Graven: I find it interesting that three out of four of our party has expressed significant interest in both sexes, even if Kev won't admit it. Are you the odd man out, and totally straight?
...let’s just say that I’ll never find a dude attractive…
…

Kevros -2 happiness!

Insert more unnecessary drama_

pstt Kevros, gender changing potion.

>>456315
Aww, kev lost happiness. Now he's only VERY happy instead of EXTREMELY happy.

But yeah. Kev. Gender switching shenanigans. We know you've thought about it.

Graven, it kinda looks like you're the leader of the harem, not Liz.

Oracle, can there be white without black? If everything matching the current definition of 'suffering' is removed, then there will be a new definition created by simple contrast. Will that new "suffering" be eliminated as well? If yes, then that is a repeating process that will eventually remove EVERYTHING from the equation, and that is a true apocalypse. Besides, isn't the true source of suffering people, not the world? Any nonlethal attempt to end all suffering would either result in an omnipotent/omniscient policing force, or outright mind control on the populous. To sum up, I sincerely doubt that it is possible to "end all suffering" in a way that is actually BENEFICIAL to the world and its people!

Wait... wait. Does suffering exist? I just realized there's a HAPPINESS stat, but not one for SUFFERING. Virtue may have already succeeded!

>>456327
Low happiness. Remember when we raised Maggy's enough to make her no longer depressed?

Lizbeth 2012/09/20(Thu)17:13 No. 456338 ID: b3ca75
File 134818640587.png - (13.29KB , 550x400 , 30.png )

>Oracle, can there be white without black? If everything matching the current definition of 'suffering' is removed, then there will be a new definition created by simple contrast.
Removing black does not remove gray. Definition does not truly define the object. Dress a stone in whatever pretty gown you want, it will still sink.
>I sincerely doubt that it is possible to "end all suffering" in a way that is actually BENEFICIAL to the world and its people!
Beneficial is not an objective.

>pstt Kevros, gender changing potion.
w-what? …err…h-he would still know it was m-me and… um… I d-don’t… err…
I can still hear both of you, you know…
hngt!
>Graven, it kinda looks like you're the leader of the harem, not Liz.
wait, what? I’m the leader of a harem? W-what harem? Wha-
you are? Have you been holding out on me, gravy?
AH! How long have you been here!? AND STOP RUBBING MY TAIL!
oh… about fourteen seconds…
so soft…
…so… about that harem of yours… why haven’t you told me?
b-but…err…I…it’s not…?

Insert harming harem hereon _

Graven, either submit or stop buffing your scales every night when you think nobody's watching.

>>456338
Huh, since when were we heard by everyone at once? I thought we had to speak to individuals, or have Liz speak for us. Has it always been this way? That's embarrassing.

Anyway, Maggy, that was just a joke, playing off how Liz is sortof hitting on all three of you.

>>456341
I'm not joking, I'm rooting for all you getting together!

Even if there is gender-shifting shenannigans to get it done!

>>456338

Hey Kevros. What's on those plates there? Actually wait, that doesn't matter. You should consume the contents of those plates to distract yourself from all of these embarrassing thoughts.

Also, Graven, since you know more about magic than the others, do you know what happens if a pregnant woman drinks a potion of gender changing? I mean, does the baby just vanish into hammer space for the duration, or does it get snuffed out entirely?

Also Liz, you should consider eating a few plates of food to try to level up that glutton ability of yours. I bet you can't eat as much as Kevros.

Before you eat or drink anything test for poisons, those flowers in that alternate timeline makes me paranoid.

>>456338
The four of you all want to tap the other three, except Graven denies wanting to tap Kevros.
Kevros is worried that a Graven wouldn't want him even with a gender change potion.

Silly Kevros; haven't you learned that Liz is the only one who hasn't been in denial?

Lizbeth 2012/09/21(Fri)08:37 No. 456458 ID: b3ca75
File 134824186744.png - (13.39KB , 550x400 , 31.png )

>stop buffing your scales every night when you think nobody's watching.
NEVER! I’ll never sacrifice the softness of my scales!
…so soft…
…soft…
>Huh, since when were we heard by everyone at once?
Everyone you have control over can hear you and as you have control over all of us, everyone can hear you.
>what happens if a pregnant woman drinks a potion of gender changing?
Nothing, really. The potion is more illusion in nature and only change the outside, which mean you would still have a stomach if that’s the case. The gender changing belt on the other hand… oh gods, the blood… luckily they started having safety’s on those things to prevent any more deaths.

>Before you eat or drink anything test for poisons, those flowers in that alternate timeline makes me paranoid.
I check it to the best of my knowledge and find nothing…
>consume the contents of those plates to distract yourself from all of these embarrassing thoughts.
…mmm, shrimps…
>you should consider eating a few plates of food to try to level up that glutton ability of yours. I bet you can't eat as much as Kevros.
you’re on! Ooh, shrimps! Om nom nom!
…err… did you just eat a pile of shrimps bigger than your own head?
…nom…
…but I wanted shrimps…

>Silly Kevros; haven't you learned that Liz is the only one who hasn't been in denial?
I apologize if I ruin your ship fics, but I’m not in denial…
>The four of you all want to tap the other three, except Graven denies wanting to tap Kevros.
I’M NOT DENYING ANYTHING!
well, I want to tap most things, doesn’t mean I want it to become a harem, thought…
…err… this is kind of sudden…
Hey, the more the merrier, right?
Aren’t everyone already in a relationship already? Shouldn’t we try to focus on those instead?
Like how you focus on ours?
geez, I apologize that three different things have tried to kill us since I asked you out…

Lizbeth +3 chubbiness!
Lizbeth is Chubby!
Maggwen -1 happiness!
Graven -1 happiness!

Inse-

:kervos: …can I also rub you, gra-
no.
aw…

Time to conjure up that excercise gym. If you need ehpl browse your database.



You know what would be a good way to level gluttony and NOT get fat? Illusionary food that you dismiss just after you eat it. Gluttony is all about the process of eating afterall, not digesting. So you can give Graven that shrimp after all.

Hey Liz, did you ever try to find a morning after pill or the local equivalent? I don't think you want to get pregnant... Actually, how does lizardfolk pregnancy work anyways? Do you lay eggs? What about live births? ...Are you delivered by magical birds?

>>456485
By the time there'd be any detectable difference the deadline for the second apocalypse would have already passed.

Calm down, Maggy and Graven. You're both under stress, and taking it out on each other is wrong.
We were teasing you, not trying to force things along with abject disregard for respect like we normally do.

Also: Everybody needs to talk to their respective partners to set boundaries and limits.
By way of example? Lets say Liz seduced Graven, since he has self control and confidence issues that would make the reverse incredibly unlikely. How would Maggy feel about that? How would it affect Kevros?

Or what if Maggy seduced Kevros? How would Graven feel about that? How would Liz- Actually, no, it falls apart there; Liz would applaud unless she wasn't able to watch, in which case she'd make them do it again.

Anyway, my point is that people need to establish what's ok and what isn't so nobody will be upset if and when Liz decides to start seducing anybody she's allowed to.

Lizbeth 2012/09/21(Fri)12:39 No. 456508 ID: b3ca75
File 134825636811.png - (13.24KB , 550x400 , 32.png )

>Time to conjure up that excercise gym.
…err…did you just call me fat?
I for one find you cuter a little bit chubbier and…and…and I’ll be quiet now… stop staring at me like that…
>Illusionary food that you dismiss just after you eat it.
An endless buffet? I’m sold!
Om nom nom!
>you can give Graven that shrimp after all.
...thank you... I think.

>Hey Liz, did you ever try to find a morning after pill or the local equivalent?
…err… not really…
wait, you’re pregnant!?
…you did it only a few hours ago, it doesn’t work that fast. Besides, why didn’t you wear protection?
I-it happen so f-fast and…err… I thought she was on the pill!

>By the time there'd be any detectable difference the deadline for the second apocalypse would have already passed.
b-but aren’t we trying to prevent that? I mean, if we succeed then we will still have these…um… consequences to worry about…
>Actually, how does lizardfolk pregnancy work anyways? Do you lay eggs?
Is this really the best time to talk about biology? We lay eggs, yes! We aren’t mammals, you know!

>Calm down, Maggy and Graven. You're both under stress, and taking it out on each other is wrong.
I’m sorry… but your right… it wasn’t your fault this date didn’t go like I hoped…
well, this isn’t really like a date anyway. How about I promise you a real date when we get the time? I love you and I’m willing to be patience to make you happy.
…I guess that would work…

>Also: Everybody needs to talk to their respective partners to set boundaries and limits.
>Lets say Liz seduced Graven.
err… does this mean she dumped me or? I mean, as long as she loves me like she does now it be fine… I guess… err… maybe?
hey, keep your claws away from my Gravy!
I would share him equally?
hmm, that would maybe work…
…why do I feel like a piece of meat?

>Maggy seduced Kevros?
…err… are you sure? I mean, I don’t know how I should feel about her…err… sorry. Besides, she isn’t interested in me... few women are…
are you kidding? A hunk like you should be a real girl magnet. Besides, Lizbeth have gushed so much about you that I’m curious if is true. If even half of it is you would make quite a good boyfriend… and bedmate~
…she did?
…well, that made me feel great. My date just gushed over another guy, who’s completely opposite of me, about how good boyfriend he would be…
Opposite? You care just as much as he apparently does, even if you don’t want to show it.
I’d bring some popcorn, of course!

>Graven x Kevros?
…not going to happen…
I’d bring even more popcorn?

>Lizbeth x Maggy
“Clonk”
dammit, Kevros!
sorry…
and please, It would start to feel like a competition for her that I would lose, and I don’t want to lose her, okay?

Insert dating for lizards_

>>456508
I forgot what we where supposed to be doing in the middle of this dating silliness, do any of you four remember?

>>456509
Waiting for the tourny to start I think.

Graven: A true polyamourous group doesn't compete for each of the other partners affections, they build off of them. Loving one person doesn't mean you can't love anyone else after all.

Kevros: Your still a bit unsure about that so think on it hard so jealousy doesn't rear its ugle head later on and ruin it. Also think on using the potion now .... and purchasing a belt later for something thats a bit longer lasting.

Maggie and Liz: you both seem to be on the same page so far. It's up to you to decide if you want to convince the menfolk to accept their fate.

>>456508
Okay, sounds like the relationships need to be separate, just like I originally thought. No harem! That doesn't rule out group sex of course but that's not going to happen until after we've solved the apocalypse problem anyway.

Speaking of sex, Liz, please tell me that you took a bath in this timeline before you left for the party.

Speaking of timeline stuff... Graven and Maggy, could you let us in on what happened to get you to the party? I still don't know where the timeline split... This would be a good time to go back in detail and see what changed. For instance, what was the first mission we went on? If Pride was already dead, then there shouldn't have even been a "magical nexus" mission.

>>456513
Please don't make it sound like it's an inevitability. Continuing this line of discussion at this stage is bound to backfire. Graven and Maggy just haven't been officially together long enough to be confident in keeping eachother close with two other lovers in the picture.

Besides, I think there are more important things to focus on. Like, saving the world?

>>456561
Yes, I concur with your conclusions that trying to make a healthy four-way polygamous relationship between all parties here is a bad idea right now, and possibly ever. Franky, with the social skills of those involved, it'd be best for everyone if they kept the "training wheels" on, and stuck to two-person relationships for now. Anything more can wait until there is a future to have it in.

Now, I, too, am wondering what Graven and Maggy remember about how they got here from the Guild. Perhaps everyone here can check what time it is, and what times they remember from before everything went all dreamy timey-wimey.

Oh, and if Liz and Kev still smell of sex, they should probably take care of that next chance they get. There has to be at least a shower around here somewhere they could use. (Possibly together.)

Hey, Graven, I have a question unrelated to trying to hook you up with everyone in sight: You mentioned earlier that what makes the surface uninhabitable is actually an extreme magic void, which kills all life by drawing the magic, and then life-force, out of it. What I'm wondering is, is where does the magic that is pulled in by it goes? I mean, it has to go somewhere, and I assume it isn't being annihilated in a magic/anti-magic reaction, 'cause that sounds like it would have blown everything to pieces.

I'm asking 'cause I have a hunch about what's keeping the magic-sucking void on the surface going so long after the bombs that created it went off.

People are still hellbent on a Harem? Leave Graven and Maggy alone already! We've got Kevros to sit on the eggs. No problem!

Lizbeth 2012/09/22(Sat)10:27 No. 456815 ID: b3ca75
File 134833482699.png - (14.04KB , 550x400 , 33.png )

>I forgot what we where supposed to be doing in the middle of this dating silliness, do any of you four remember?
Let’s see. We are hiding from a bunch of crazy paladins by getting shoved into a small isolated room by a man we probably can’t trust waiting for him to start the entertainment and/or kill us.

>Graven: A true polyamourous group doesn't compete for each of the other partners affections, they build off of them. Loving one person doesn't mean you can't love anyone else after all.
Even if we aren’t actively competing against each other it’s still going to end by Maggy preferring her over me by a long shot.
…okay, now your just pessimistic.
>Kevros: Your still a bit unsure about that so think on it hard so jealousy doesn't rear its ugle head later on and ruin it.
I-I don’t think I would become jealous… it’s her choice who she loves, not mine, right?
>Also think on using the potion now .... and purchasing a belt later for something thats a bit longer lasting.
w-what? Right now? B-but…um…I don’t really…err…no?

>Maggie and Liz: you both seem to be on the same page so far. It's up to you to decide if you want to convince the menfolk to accept their fate.
Accept our fate? You talk like we don’t have a choice!
>trying to make a healthy four-way polygamous relationship between all parties here is a bad idea right now, and possibly ever.
I concur completely, this is just a bad idea!
It would be simpler…
we can still have fun together, right?
I’m concurring with the fun part.
>Liz, please tell me that you took a bath in this timeline before you left for the party.
…well, they don’t smell anymore, so I guess they did.

>Now, I, too, am wondering what Graven and Maggy remember about how they got here from the Guild.
Didn’t we already go through this? The last thing we remember is cuddling with Lizbeth and getting killed by an invisible douchebag. We both also remember that we both killed Pride and that we just killed a normal dragon at the same time even if it doesn’t fit together.
>Perhaps everyone here can check what time it is, and what times they remember from before everything went all dreamy timey-wimey.
err… the clock is ten right now and that dream thingy happened at five.
>What I'm wondering is, is where does the magic that is pulled in by it goes?
actually, we don’t really now. It is supposed to go into the void itself and cancel it out but we haven’t seen any change in it since it came to be, which is weird.

>We've got Kevros to sit on the eggs. No problem!
WHAT!? She already got eggs!?
I think they mean later… far later…
please don’t tell me we have to protect a bunch o- Graven? Maggwen? …err… Lizbeth and Kretos was it? You’re the ones we’re supposed to protect?
Sonya? What are you doing here?
ooh, a buffet!
well, They hired pretty much anyone at the mercenary guild as guards… so here we are. What about you guys, what are you doing here? Your no guards, I can tell you that.
well…err…you see…

Insert new friends/enemies/npcs_

>>456815
"Some jerks in blue armor decided they wanted to get their murder on and their leader, Serge, was a huge dickbutt. He was, like, TWO dickbutts.
So I blasted him in the nuts. Totally worth it."

Oh Kevros you're so easy to rile up. As an artificial construct, Liz can't get pregnant any more than she can consume food.

>>456815
Oh thank god, new people to distract us from relationship issues.

So... we skipped ahead 5 hours? Weird! Or did we just spend 5 hours at the party, so far? Or... did go back a day? Ask what day it is.

Tell Olof to help himself, and say goodbye to the buffet.

Hey guys, there's some jerk out the window being all ominous and casting a shadow into the room and stuff. Lizbeth could make a fine steel net or something in front of it, so if they try to break through they get captured, but it's up to you what you do.

And Maggy, about the whole murder thing... think you did it? You're an assassin, right? Kill any targets like the paladin described, recently?

Hey, you can actually tell the truth here, Graven. Well, part of it, anyway.

Graven, say that you used to personally work with Davros in his lab, back in the day. That he invited you, and three friends of your choosing, to come to the Arena grand opening. Even let you use this private room when the scheduled party for it didn't show. Then point out that there's an ominous person-shaped shadow being cast from the window, and that they should probably check that, being guards and all.

>Magic not going into the Void like it's expected
Yeah, I suspect it's being diverted into Project Virtue. My current theory is that the magic-void bombs killing everyone and everything on the surface created a surge of magic that jumpstarted Project Virtue, and its been sucking in all the magic flowing to the surface since. Obviously that isn't enough for it to operate at its designed capacity, so it's going to tap the source of magic, which includes us, the Voices. Thing is, I suspect even all the magic isn't enough to do what Project Virtue was meant to do.

Lizbeth 2012/09/22(Sat)16:57 No. 456944 ID: b3ca75
File 134835824203.png - (13.93KB , 550x400 , 34.png )

>Oh Kevros you're so easy to rile up. As an artificial construct, Liz can't get pregnant any more than she can consume food.
Are you just trying to rile me up again or are you saying she’s more fertile then the rest of us? Because she just ate her own weight in less the ten minutes…
>Or did we just spend 5 hours at the party, so far? Ask what day it is.
…err… the party has only been going on for two hours… and it has to still be the same day as we were getting ready for the party when we was drugged, right?

>Tell Olof to help himself, and say goodbye to the buffet.
aw man, no shrimps? Eh, no matter… Om nom nom…
Goodnight sweet prince.
>Maggy, about the whole murder thing... think you did it?
well, I did do some contracts outside the mercenaries guild, but that was years ago. Why would they start chasing me for that now?

>Hey, you can actually tell the truth here, Graven. Well, part of it, anyway.
well, I was Davros apprentice for a wh-
Some jerks in blue armor decided they wanted to get their murder on and their leader, Serge, was a huge dickbutt. He was, like, TWO dickbutts. So I blasted him in the nuts. Totally worth it.
…so you’re the reason why the paladin is sweeping the whole city? They have even station some grunts in every public room in the arena.
…wait, there’s like twenty paladins active in this city, where did they get the man power?
Well, I did see a lot of other colored ones, so they probably brought them from other cities. I even saw a few white ones from the capital. I never thought I’d see one of those guys…
W-WHAT!? They send some of the Silver army? They are supposed to only guard the emperor, not running around the streets looking for a petty murderer! Something not right here…
…did you just call me petty?

>Hey guys, there's some jerk out the window being all ominous and casting a shadow into the room and stuff. Lizbeth could make a fine steel net or something in front of it, so if they try to break through they get captured, but it's up to you what you do.
The trap is set! I’ll catch anything trying to get through that window.
“Crash!”
Son of a b-
…if they can get through the window, that is…

Insert Lizard butt(jerk)!_

Uh, help them through the window?

Also as Davros said they're just using Maggy as an excuse to get to him. They probably noticed the world's going to end next week and figure he's got some magic dooly to save it, having caused it. Arrest murder suspect, ransom for dooly, save Emperor. Seems cut and dry to me.

>>456944
Get that guy through the window, alive and disabled, then interrogate him. Find out what's really going on- this isn't just them hunting an assassin for a hit done years ago.

If the Silver army is here... does that mean someone killed the EMPEROR?! Holy shit, that's probably it. They think Maggy killed the Emperor.

Lizbeth 2012/09/23(Sun)10:47 No. 457263 ID: b3ca75
File 134842244342.png - (14.33KB , 550x400 , 35.png )

>someone killed the EMPEROR?!
That’s highly unlikely. Besides, if he was dead then those paladins would still need to protect his remains and all his offsprings.
>Also as Davros said they're just using Maggy as an excuse to get to him.
He did? I can’t remember that he ever did. The theory that they are using Maggy to get to someone else is a sound idea thought, but whom and for what purpose?

>Get that guy through the window, alive and disabled, then interrogate him.
Done, done and… wait, a skeleton?
err…who are you?
what? You don’t recognize me? It’s me, Seymour, the lord of janitors! And I’m here for Vengeance!
…
…that skeleton from the third room, remember? Your first fight?
…um…
I even smuggled in your arch-nemesis, the table from the second room!
…what?
his right there, behind the fat one.

Lizbeth 2012/09/23(Sun)10:47 No. 457264 ID: b3ca75
File 134842245434.png - (14.27KB , 550x400 , Table, Mighty pirate.png )

Warning! Arch-Nemesis detected: The doomy doom table from the doomy second room…of doom! (also known as: That smug ass table.)

Tremble in fear, as you’ll never defeat his might!
…it’s a table.
TREMBLE!
…okay, what are you guys smoking and where can I get some?

Insert call back_

Welcome Ladies and…err… people? Welcome to the grand opening of the arena! Today we will witness a battle of such proportions it will blow your fragile, idiotic little minds! We will also serve bread and circuses for free! So please, enjoy our hospitality as you watch to well-trained murder machines try to make each other bleed as much as possible so you can ignore our tyrannical reg- wait, who is that blond women in a red dress running up to the gladiators?

Huh. I'll be honest, I didn't expect the skeleton you read bad fanfiction at to show up again.

Kill that table. It is your nemesis. You need to kill it! Killing your nemesis is always important.

Insert Hans

SHhh I think the opening battle is starting. Davros said you wouldn't want to miss it.

Lizbeth 2012/09/23(Sun)12:42 No. 457293 ID: b3ca75
File 134842936787.png - (13.61KB , 550x400 , 36.png )

>Huh. I'll be honest, I didn't expect the skeleton you read bad fanfiction at to show up again.
No one expect the Spanish- I mean the janitors! Now Tremble before the power of the ta-
>Kill that table. It is your nemesis. You need to kill it! Killing your nemesis is always important.
Hey, Olof, are you done?
Om nom nom?
I’ll take that as a yes.

Lizbeth cast magic missle!
Table (nemesis) has been slain!
Lizbeth gains +5 morale for killing a nemesis!

Table, nooooo! H-he was my only friend!
…dude, that’s just sad.

>Insert Hans
Actually, I think he already inserted himself into those gladiators. He’s even wearing one as body armor…
>SHhh I think the opening battle is starting. Davros said you wouldn't want to miss it.
And he was right… but for the wrong reason.
…did he just... oh gods, that has to hurt.
how is that even physical possible?
No one is supposed to have that much blood in them.
what? What is he doing? I can’t really see past the window…
Wow, I didn’t know the human spine was that flexible.
…I think I’m going to puke...
…are you just going to ignore me? I’m trying to kill you!
oooh, a homerun!
…does anyone else smell smoke?

Insert Go Hans, go Hans, ja?_

Poor skeleton janitor. We'll be your friend! Or kill you! Maybe both!

>>457302
We could wear him as armor!

>>457303
Huh, that actually sounds like a awesome idea!
We'd have to change his shape a bit so we can fit though...

>>457293
>smoke
Better check on that. If there is smoke, we could be under attack. Like, someone set the hallway outside on fire or something. I dunno, it's not very likely, but we should be sure.

Also open the window so Graven can see.

Lizbeth 2012/09/23(Sun)14:51 No. 457325 ID: b3ca75
File 134843706351.png - (13.09KB , 550x400 , 37.png )

>Better check on that. If there is smoke, we could be under attack. Like, someone set the hallway outside on fire or something. I dunno, it's not very likely, but we should be sure.
I’ll check. We are supposed to guard you, after all.
>Also open the window so Graven can see.
The window is already open. The fight is probably too far away for graven to see with whatever he is seeing with.

>Poor skeleton janitor. We'll be your friend! Or kill you! Maybe both!
>We could wear him as armor!
>We'd have to change his shape a bit so we can fit though...
well, I am a golemancer, so it would be that hard to repurpose him.
…I don’t like the way you’re looking at me.
don’t worry, this won’t hurt… much.

err… why is the audience running away? And is that a pillar of smoke I see?
Hmm? Oh, you’re right. Sorry, I was distracted by Hans… ooh, look, he’s doing a jig on the bodies.
err… guys? There is some of those paladin guys “checking” rooms father down the hallway… and by that I mean they have an elemental mage casting fireballs into them.
…wait, what?

Insert flame on!_

>>457325
I say we go out the window. Conjure a ladder or grappling hook or something.

Also leave a u-bend or something that will redirect the elemental mage's fireball back onto his face.

No time to make Seymour into armor. Convert him to action figure size for easy transport, and stick him down your cleavage to deal with later.

Throw all the bottles of booze around so they break and coat everything, giving the biggest one to Olaf to drink so he doesn't try to stop you from wasting booze. That'll give the paladins a surprise when they light the room up.

>>457338
A ladder or grappling hook? Pshaw, I say! Lizbeth can make room sized solid illusions, and what is the arena but a really big room? Conjure up a corkscrew slide down to the stands, with an illusion over the top to hide it. Then slide down in style. Wheeee!

Solid illusion making the door in here look like part of the wall from the outside? Then escape through the windoohgodHans is out there.

Oh, of course. Secret passage behind the wine case. Works every time.

Lizbeth 2012/09/24(Mon)08:14 No. 457539 ID: b3ca75
File 134849968856.png - (16.06KB , 550x400 , 38.png )

>No time to make Seymour into armor. Convert him to action figure size for easy transport, and stick him down your cleavage to deal with later.
err… I don’t really have a cleavage… but sure…
…this is the happiest day of my life.
…you are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
and envy…

>Oh, of course. Secret passage behind the wine case. Works every time.
>Throw all the bottles of booze around so they break and coat everything. That'll give the paladins a surprise when they light the room up.
Well, there is no secret passage behind the shelf. On the other hand my search attempt did help out quite nicely with the whole fill the room with booze plan.
No, not the booze! Anything but the booze!
...you are kind of hypocritical, you know.
what does hippos have to do with booze?
>giving the biggest one to Olaf to drink so he doesn't try to stop you from wasting booze.
He seem to be helping himself to them without me.
Don’t worry, booze, I’ll save you from the mean lizard!

>Solid illusion making the door in here look like part of the wall from the outside.
As the whole corridor is symmetrical it won’t take long for them to find the room anyway.
>Also leave a u-bend or something that will redirect the elemental mage's fireball back onto his face.
A fireball detonates as soon as they hit anything solid. The best I can do is putting something right in front of the door and hope they are too stupid to check before firing.

>I say we go out the window. Conjure up a corkscrew slide down to the stands, with an illusion over the top to hide it. Then slide down in style. Wheeee!
Invisible slide is a go!
Wheeee!
-Off!
They seem to have several search parties going through the stands, probably for any civilian stranglers. The good news is that they haven’t notice us ye-

“BOOM”
Paladin 1-3 has been slain!
Paladin 4-5 is heavenly wounded!
Mage Puppet has been slain!

…and now they are heading this way, great…
Wait, I have an illusion up. They shouldn’t know anyone is here.
they can probably detect all the magic you have been throwing around. It is a quite nice trail you left from the window that just exploded down to us, no?
>ohgodHans is out there.
Wait, isn’t Hans on our side? I know his a psy- okay, I get your point…

Insert battle stations!_

>>457539
"HEY! HANS! THE BLUE ARMORED GUYS ARE JERKS!"
Or, alternatively: "HANS! BETCHA FIVE GOLD YOU CAN'T BEAT ALL THESE BLUE ARMORED JERKS!"

>>457539
Ugh. Stupid detect magic. We should outlaw it or something, ruining our fun like that.

Anyway, vamoose. I'd say cast haste on everyone so we can run better, but with the upkeep cost I think you'd just run out of mana. How has that been holding up, anyway? Don't tell me you have infinite mana or something nowadays. As for what direction to vamoose in, that depends on where the paladins are... Try heading in a direction that leads away from them and also back indoors so we can like, run around branching corridors and lose them in the giant building again.

"Mage Puppet"... sounds like Clown's doing, considering she puppets a clown doll for interaction with others.

Ouch. I felt that pun all the way from here.

How do you get heavenly wounded anyway?

Lizbeth 2012/09/24(Mon)14:19 No. 457588 ID: b3ca75
File 134852156116.png - (16.02KB , 550x400 , 39.png )

>HEY! HANS! THE BLUE ARMORED GUYS ARE JERKS!
well, not all of them is wearing blue armor…so…
HANS! BETCHA FIVE GOLD YOU CAN'T BEAT ALL THESE PALADIN JERKS!
wait, doesn’t that include me?
…crap.
>Stupid detect magic. We should outlaw it or something, ruining our fun like that.
…

>How do you get heavenly wounded anyway?
It’s probably a paladin thing. I mean, Kevros was heavenly in bed, after all.
>I'd say cast haste on everyone so we can run better, but with the upkeep cost I think you'd just run out of mana.
I would be able to keep four people hasted, but that would leave someone behind… besides, I wouldn’t be able to do any other magic then either.
>Try heading in a direction that leads away from them and also back indoors so we can like, run around branching corridors and lose them in the giant building again.
The only direction leading away from them is down, and that would lead us straight to the arena floor. There is an exit not far to our left thought, maybe we can get there before the buttjerks.

stop right there, criminal scum! You violated my mother!
Blast!
…err… Steve… that was me.
You son of a Kevros! I will murder you in your sleep with your own entr-
-is thing on? Hello? 1…2…ahem… Attention, Kevros whores, I like to inform you that we now have about two thousand civilian hostages including your dear friend Davros. We even have a puppy! If you don’t hand over that harlot vessel immediately we will start killing them of. Painfully. Starting with the puppy! Please, do have a nice day…
Blast again!
This message was sponsored by the pizza elemental fund, please donate a few gold so they do not consume the world we live in… that was all.

Insert Taste the rainbow!_

>>457588
Oh, wait, detect magic is how Graven sees right now. Outlawing it will have to wait until we get him some working eyes. Heeyyyyyy, look at that, we've got five potential donors right here. Well, no, hang on a second.

Why don't we just go ahead and inform them that they're being rather obviously manipulated? Serge isn't even pursuing a criminal anymore- he IS one. Paladins don't murder puppies and civilians, dammit! That is EVIL.

>>457588
"A paladin would NEVER even THREATEN to murder a puppy! That is CLEARLY an imposter. Stand down, or stand in the way of JUSTICE!"

Maybe it's an evil puppy?

...Kev, other paladins don't usually act this way, do they? They aren't all massive raging douchebags, right? If they aren't, then what the heck could be doing this to them?

Oh, and for when the talking inevitably fails:

Liz, while you're talking, cast haste on Maggy, if you can do it silently and without giving her position away. Then she can quickly slip behind them, and get in position to shiv one in the neck when things go down.

Graven, move up so you have a clear shot with your fire based area-of-effect spell of choice.

When they start saying they're still going to attack, or something to that effect, Liz'll telekinesis throw the five booze glasses on the table into each of their helmet eye-slots. Maggy'll shiv one and dash away, while Graven throws his spell to light the booze up. Liz, follow that by TK-hurling the table at the red paladin.

>>457810
And our three meatshields will move up to engage the crippled paladins?

Lizbeth 2012/09/25(Tue)10:02 No. 457858 ID: b3ca75
File 134859257329.png - (16.91KB , 550x400 , 40.png )

>Why don't we just go ahead and inform them that they're being rather obviously manipulated?
Can’t you see that you are being manipulated? Serge is quite clearly an imposter! A paladin would NEVER even THREATEN to murder a puppy! Stand down, or stand in the way of JUSTICE!
…
JUSTICE!!!
Give me a S! S! Give me a H! H! Give me an I! I! Give me a T! T! what does that spell!?
Serge!
That’s right! Go Serge, Go Serge, you da man! Show us that sexy ass!
…what?
ooo, Are those pom-poms?

>...Kev, other paladins don't usually act this way, do they?
They are either insane or mind controlled somehow… Not even Serge was this big of a dick… or crazy…
And now he is as big as yours! How ominous!
…how do yo-
Rumors!

>Liz, while you're talking, cast haste on Maggy, if you can do it silently and without giving her position away. Then she can quickly slip behind them, and get in position to shiv one in the neck when things go down.
>Graven, move up so you have a clear shot with your fire based area-of-effect spell of choice.
Okay, the pieces is in position… let’s crash this party!
>Liz'll telekinesis throw the five booze glas-
Wait!! We can’t just kill them! Didn’t you hear? They have hostages! And they are quite clearly not in their right minds! We can’t just slaughter them like cattle!
duuuuur…. What does fire taste like?
we should always just subdue them…
that won’t solve the hostage situation thought…
are we even sure they have hostages?
…so, should I just ignore Kevros and continue the plan or what?

Insert Escalating Exclamation Marks!!!!!_

!

They seem brainwashed stupid, and aside from Serge are susceptible to illusions, so we should be ok if we can deal with Serge or his controller. We should go to serge as a group, saying that we are cooperating. If they ask about us still having our weapons, turn the weapons invisible and then ask "what weapons"?

I think we have to kill Serge. Send Maggwen up that way, all invisible and hasty like.

>>457861
We don't necessarily need to kill Serge, we just need to find a relatively quiet way to get mindcontrolled-puppet Serge out of the way so we can replace him with an illusionary-puppet Serge.

>>457858
Well, the alternative is to give in, and allow yourself to be taken, and who knows what will happen.

Kevros does have a point though- if we fight, innocent people will die. Is that the right thing to do? Maybe we can find a way to fix things once we get to Serge.

Lizbeth 2012/09/25(Tue)13:55 No. 457903 ID: b3ca75
File 134860653849.png - (16.02KB , 550x400 , 41.png )

>if we fight, innocent people will die. Is that the right thing to do?
Innocent plus die is never really on the right side of things.
>I think we have to kill Serge. Send Maggwen up that way, all invisible and hasty like.
That would work If I actually knew where he was...
>We don't necessarily need to kill Serge, we just need to find a relatively quiet way to get mindcontrolled-puppet Serge out of the way so we can replace him with an illusionary-puppet Serge.
That seems like a plan! If only we had a way to get to him without fighting…

>Well, the alternative is to give in, and allow yourself to be taken, and who knows what will happen.
we surrender?
WHAT?
actually, that’s probably the best thing we can do. We might get out of this without anyone dying.
as long as they don’t touch my booze we’re fine.
At least someone is sensible…Now, hand over all your weapons!
>If they ask about us still having our weapons, turn the weapons invisible and then ask "what weapons"?
What weapons?
…the one you just had?
…err… oh you mean these absolutely real non-illusionary weapons that I just created?
yes, those, thank you. Now hold still so we can subdue you.
wait, what’s that th-

Paladin uses shock rod Lizbeth!
Lizbeth is unconscious!
Son of a-

Lizbeth 2012/09/25(Tue)13:55 No. 457905 ID: b3ca75
File 134860654620.png - (18.23KB , 550x400 , 42.png )

Serge uses kick on Lizbeth!
Lizbeth takes 1 damage!

OW!
Wake up, harlot! We’re going to have some fun.
…liz…
And that disgusting Kevros is invited. Now… tell me where you have hidden the vessel or I’ll start getting creative on your pathetic friend here. I think I’ll start with the hot po-

Lizbeth fails casting Magic Missile on Serge crotch!
Lizbeth magic is blocked!

…I’m not stupid, you know… Now tell me, or Kevros here might lose an eye.

Insert never give up!_

Laugh, and laugh and laugh.

Fool. He will never find the vessal. He is blind to it.

Oh and time to release Seymour on him too. Surprise Skeleton!

I think we still have that dagger from back in thread 1. Can we reach it from here?

If neither that nor using magic on the ropes work, the next best option is to send the crazy magic people against each other. Answer his question with "Have you ever wondered why Wrath wears that mask?"

If magic is blocked, how are we here? Voices of magic and all that.

>>457905
Graven, Maggy, give us a status report.

Liz, struggle. Do we have any special abilities that don't depend on magic? Like that construct-control thing? Or our familiar?

You can also just go ahead and tell him he's being mind controlled and to snap out of it. We know he has a strong will- he just needs to USE it!

>>457905
Paladins like Serge can PROBABLY detect lies, so if he's being controlled whoever is doing it can to that as well.
Say this, and remember that you belong with Kevros.
"Just don't hurt Kevros! There's a precursor lab 10 meters below the flagstones at the entrance to town. That's been the vessel's home for thousands of years, and last I knew the vessel was back where it belonged.
Now, please, heal Kevros and let him go!"

Lizbeth 2012/09/25(Tue)15:42 No. 457942 ID: b3ca75
File 134861296049.png - (18.16KB , 550x400 , 43.png )

>If magic is blocked, how are we here? Voices of magic and all that.
You’re probably too powerful.
>Graven, Maggy, give us a status report.
They are probably too far away to he-
Shhh…

>Laugh, and laugh and laugh.
…You have to excuse me, but I don’t really feel that joyous right now..
>Oh and time to release Seymour on him too. Surprise Skeleton!
I don’t think a tiny skeleton has a chance against a fully trained paladin, even with surprise on its side.
>I think we still have that dagger from back in thread 1. Can we reach it from here?
No, I can’t… but I know someone who can… Seymour, please free mommy with the knife…
Of course, my mistress…

>the next best option is to send the crazy magic people against each other.
Have you ever wondered why Wrath wears that mask?
…who? Never mind, tell me where the vessel is or Kevros here gets an eyeful.
>You can also just go ahead and tell him he's being mind controlled and to snap out of it. We know he has a strong will- he just needs to USE it!
You’re being mind-controlled, snap out of it!
Yeah, right. Pull the other one, it got bells on it… or Kevros blood, if you’re lucky.

>remember that you belong with Kevros.
In more ways than one~
>Say this:
There's a precursor lab 10 meters below the flagstones at the entrance to town. That's been the vessel's home for thousands of years, and last I knew the vessel was back where it belonged. Now, please, heal Kevros and let him go!
I already know about that lab and I know the vessel is not there. I know you had the vessel when we last met! I can even feel its taint still on you, whore. Now, let me motivate you to tell me where you hid it…

Serge uses hot poker on Kevros!
Kevros takes 5 damage!
Kevros is paralyzed by pain!

AAAAH!
Such a sweet melody…

Insert Trust you instinct!_

If we are too powerful to block and Lizbeth is our vessal why can't we work through her? Probably be only able to use her abilities but...

[1000 Magic Missiles, to his privates]