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White Spice Soda
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Interestingly, an increase in the levels of the oceans by a scant few centimeters globally would result in a shocking tally of square kilometers across the global coastline turning from land to sea. I nearly lost my monocle in the tea when I saw the number, though without leaving the parlor to engage in some remedial research, I regret that I cannot recite it for you gentlemen now. There are those who worry that such a difference would cause further changes in the heat absorption of our little planetary sphere in a way not unlike the toppling of those small bespeckled black rectangles the help is so fond of, though I find the notion that they can prove such a concern to be highly suspect.
I find myself little concerned however, because I suspect that the uproar these worrywarts have raised to be sufficient to cause the fine gentlemen at the Academy of the Sciences to look into the matter, and I am confident that we shall be able to stand firm in the face of any dreadful problems in potentia, should they crop up.
As to the matter of the consumption of corpses in support of the nation's needs, I find myself recalling the writings of Mr. Swift, and wonder if this modest proposal was intended to be taken in seriousness, or in jest. Then I must regretfully inform you, sir, that I myself have consumed the last of the blueberry scones but a moment ago. Surely the help can be sent to fetch more, however.
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