FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)14:32 No. 596540 ID: 2c322d
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UNKNOWN IP/USER ATTEMPTING CONNECTION.
AUTHORIZE CONNECTION ATTEMPT?

No.

denied... please reinput authorization code

you can't hack with children in the background!! its a bad influence

AUTHORIZE ATTEMPT, PLEASE INPUT USER PURPOSE

Go ahead and authorize the connection. If we deny it we are just going to get hacked or thrown away. Heavy security means nothing if we have no one around to protect us.

So hello new user and assumed family members. What sort of assistance do you need?

FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)14:57 No. 596547 ID: 2c322d
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CONNECTION ATTEMPT DENIED. PLEASE RE-INPUT AUTHORIZATION CODE.

Maroon rubs at their left eye and curses softly. "Goldie didn't fucking say anything about needing authorization to use this thing ..."

"You said a bad word!" cries Persimmon, looking up accusingly from her spot on the carpet. Maroon throws her a hidden smile, raising their hand apologetically.

"Sorry, Percy. Won't happen again." They turn their attention back inward, focusing on directing their thoughts at the nanomachinery currently resting on their eye. "Uh. Well. Can I try ... p...assword?"

PASSWORD INCORRECT. TWO TRIES REMAINING BEFORE TEMPORARY LOCKOUT AND DISCIPLINARY FEEDBACK.

"Disciplinary feedback?! What the f-" Maroon catches themself and exhales hard through their nose. "Okay, uh, listen - I don't know if this even works as input but, I really, REALLY need to use this device, okay? I know I'm not the primary user but I just really really really need access. I'm not gonna do anything bad, okay? Well, alright, maybe it won't be legal but it won't be BAD."

Try admin. Most the time we get stuck on factory default mode.

>>596547
Ohhhh fiiiiine.

maybe call up goldie? or guess two more times... whats the worst that can happen, right?

Yeah I'd give admin a go

use admin, define legal

FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)15:15 No. 596554 ID: 2c322d
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"Uh. Uhm." Maroon blinks helplessly a few times. Tech is not their strong suit. "Maybe, uh ... Can I retry connection as an administrator?"

CONNECTING AS ADMINISTRATOR.
WAITING........
WAITING........
WAITING........

Maroon waits anxiously, then lets out a small cry of half-pain, half-victory as the contact flickers to life.

CONNECTION AUTHORIZED. OBTAINING NEW USER INFORMATION FOR FIRST TIME SET-UP.
WAITING........
WAITING........
WAITING........

ERROR. USER ID CHIP NOT FOUND. PLEASE MAKE SURE CHIP IS UP-TO-DATE (WITHIN PAST 5 YEARS) AND PLACED ONLY IN AUTHORIZED LOCATIONS. RETRY SCAN?

"Uh, yeah, about that...." Maroon rubs the back of their neck sheepishly. "Okay, this is gonna sound bad, but I don't .... really .... have an ID chip. Like, at all. But, uh, I can just provide all my info manually? That should be okay, right?"

Fuck if we know, go ahead and try.

MANUAL INPUT ACCEPTED

FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)15:40 No. 596557 ID: 2c322d
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"Okay, uh. For username just put Maroon?"

WELCOME, NEW USER "JUST PUT MAROON."

"No. Fuck. Undo? Undo username? Redo username? Username Maroon?"

"Bad word!"

"Sorry." Maroon sighs and slumps back against the wall. "Uh, age is 19 years. Race is, uh." They shift uncomfortably, before finally exhaling and continuing. "Race is, uh, half-elf, half-human. But if there's like ... privacy settings ... can we just have that like, locked away in a hidden ... encrypted ... something or other ..." They gesture helplessly. "Sorry, I've never operated something like this before. Uh, user health is all average except anemia. User profession is. Uh. Self-employed, I guess."

NEW USER INFORMATION ACKNOWLEDGED. PLEASE STATE CORE INTENDED PURPOSE OF DEVICE USE TO FACILITATE FIRST TIME FEATURE SETUP.

"I guess mostly I just need ... advice and information? Like, uh ..." Maroon glances over at the children playing on the rug, then lowers their voice. "Okay, listen, I need you to help me steal stuff."

Processing.

Theft not a valid entry. Redefining.

Employment specialization: espionage / repo-man. Accept? (Y/N)

initiate multiple scenario subroutine... (Y/N)?

Administrators are able to access and alter user information. Privacy settings enabled.
Alternative occupational nomenclature suggestion: Professional Larcener/ amateur locksmith.
Additional personal information suggestion: Luddite.
medical suggestion: Fabric may impede breathing, possibly compounding effects of anemia.

Assistant AI is unable to assist with task; 'steal stuff'. Remove impeding safeguards? (y/n)

FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)16:29 No. 596564 ID: 2c322d
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>Additional personal information suggestion: Luddite.
>Medical suggestion: Fabric may impede breathing, possibly compounding effects of anemia.

"Hey, I'm not a Luddite! This kinda stuff is expensive, okay? Normally I'd never be able to get my hands on a PAAL, so I never had to learn to use one." Maroon huffs in irritation. "And as for the kerchief ... well, I guess I don't need to wear it when we're indoors. I try to keep in the habit, though."

They reluctantly pull the kerchief down. "See? Kind of a dead giveaway to the half-human thing. We're lucky Rusty over there was born with some proper elf chompers, but Persimmon and I have to be more careful."

>initiate multiple scenario subroutine... (Y/N)?

"Yeah, I guess "steal stuff" is kinda broad, huh? So, yeah, let's explore more options."

FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)16:29 No. 596565 ID: 2c322d
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SPECIALIZATION MENU OPEN. PLEASE MANUALLY SELECT SPECIALIZATION CATEGORY:

Agriculture and Land Trades
Art and Culture
Athletics
Applied Sciences (Biomedicine, Applied Chemistry etc)
Computer Technology and Communications
Education
Engineering
Health and Medicine
Mechanical Trades
Military and Applied Military Sciences
Philosophy and Religion
Social Services
Transportation and Vehicular Trades

"UH .... This is kind of ... Listen, you're an AI, can't you just pick for me? Whatever would be best for the job, or whatever ..."

ADDITIONAL USER INFO LOGGED: USER INTELLIGENCE: BELOW AVERAGE

ask your siblings for advice?

>>596565
I'd say...atheletics, computer, military and transport, given your intended...stuff, I dunno.

Assistant Ai is unable to assist with task; 'pick for me'. Remove impeding safeguards? (y/n)

Art and Culture, Athletics, Computer Technology/Communications and Transportation and Vehicular Trades may apply to task: 'steal stuff' depending on chosen methodology of 'steal' and definition of 'stuff'. More information on task: 'steal stuff' required.

Subjects intelligence may be normal but his education is below average.

What skills do you currently possess? More information is required to properly pick a specialization.

id say choose either military or communications

>pick for me?
Initiate aptitude test? (y/n)

FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)17:07 No. 596578 ID: 2c322d
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CLARITY NOTE: CAPITALIZED BOLD TEXT IS INDICATION OF PAAL AUTOMATIC DEVICE PROCESSES AND IS SEPARATE FROM AI INPUT, WHICH IS SELF-SUFFICIENT. AI MAY CHOOSE TO OVERRIDE OR CHANGE ANY AUTOMATIC PROCESSES.

AUTO-RECOGNITION OF BELOW-AVERAGE USER INTELLIGENCE HAS BEEN RECLASSIFIED AS BELOW-AVERAGE USER EDUCATION AS PER AI INPUT.

"Yeah, thanks," grumbles Maroon. "I think I like you guys better than the auto thing."

>ask your siblings for advice?

"Uh ... the thing is, I don't really want them to know about the whole .... stealing stuff thing. They're too young to really understand money and as far as they know, rent and food and stuff is just something I kind of ... take care of. I don't want them to be thinking about stuff like this, you know?"

>Assistant Ai is unable to assist with task; 'pick for me'. Remove impeding safeguards? (y/n)

"Oh! Yeah, if that would help. I'm pretty much okay with you guys doing anything as long as it's helpful, you know?"

>What skills do you currently possess? More information is required to properly pick a specialization.

"T-To be honest, I'm ... not really good at much of anything. If I was I think maybe I'd be able to scrounge up a job somewhere. I'm really fast, and I'm good at climbing and jumping and stuff like that, but I'm not strong or tough. I guess I'm okay at driving and flying as long as the vehicle isn't too big, but I don't know a lot about machinery or computers."

>>596578
Then you fit Athletics, as well as Transportation and Vehicular Trades.

If we had to pick one, I suppose we may as well go with Athletics.

say you possess determination

why cant people know you're a half elf?

"athletics" doesn't have the startup costs of "vehicular trades". We might be able to change your specilization later if we need to. All the other categories are irrelevant or overly specific.

Safeguards removed! Could you find a discreet doctor to change your teeth?

Alright! With those gone we can be a bit more open.
Now, with the goal of "stealing stuff" to pay your rent being so broad, there's a lot you could do to get around some things worth stealing. Athletics seems like a good fit for how you are right now, though I fail to see how that would get you to things to steal. If you have the ability to hsbdke the monotony, Social Services could get you to information about whoever you're working for, and information on the right people can be worth more than any stolen goods.

hmm, I'd say athletics sounds like a good fit for you, and if you want to narrow it down further, I'd say look up free running.

Also when you say steal stuff, do you mean like just pick pocket people, ID theft, selling drugs, arms dealer, bank robberies, what do you have in mind?

FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)20:43 No. 596625 ID: 2c322d
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>Could you find a discreet doctor to change your teeth?

"Well, that takes money. Which I definitely don't have. But that's why I got you guys! Besides ..." Maroon casts a quick glance at their siblings. "When I do get the money, I'm getting Persimmon's teeth done first. I'll be fine, but I want her and Rusty to be able to play normally with kids around the tenements and stuff."

>why cant people know you're a half elf?

Maroon seems annoyed. "Shouldn't AIs have simple social stuff like this already loaded in? Okay, there's a lot of boring history behind it, but basically being human is fine, being an elf is fine, but being halfsies is definitely not. I actually pass okay for full elf - I'm a little tall and a little light-skinned, but not enough for people to really get suspicious - but having ominvorous teeth totally gives it away. If people knew, I'd get the shit beaten out of me around every corner. They'd probably come after Persimmon and Rusty, too. It's not a risk we can take."

FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)20:44 No. 596627 ID: 2c322d
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>Athletics

"Uh, okay! That sounds pretty useful. Let's do that!"

FIRST-TIME SPECIALIZATION SETUP INITIATED!
HELLO NEW USER JUST PUT MAROON! THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING YOUR NEW PERSONAL ASSISTANT AI LENS, OR PAAL! AS THE NAME SUGGESTS, THIS DEVICE WILL NOW BE YOUR COMPANION THROUGHOUT YOUR PROFESSIONAL LIFE!

THE CURRENT SUBSCRIPTION LEVEL OF THIS PAAL IS LEVEL 1. YOUR SUBSCRIPTION LEVEL DETERMINES THE QUALITY AND NUMBER OF UPDATES YOU CAN CHOOSE TO AUGMENT YOUR PAAL WITH. TO ENCOURAGE EXPLORATION AND PERSONAL BETTERMENT, UPGRADE POINTS AND LEVEL UPGRADES CAN BE EARNED THROUGH SIGNIFICANT USER ACHIEVEMENT THAT OCCURS DURING PAAL USE. LEVEL UPGRADES CAN ALSO BE PURCHASED FROM LICENSED RETAILERS IN YOUR AREA - POINTS FOR UPGRADING WITHIN THE CURRENT LEVEL, HOWEVER, CAN ONLY BE EARNED.

FOR YOUR PROFESSION YOU HAVE CHOSEN ATHLETICS! ONCE CONFIRMED, THIS PROFESSION CHOICE IS PERMANENT TO THE DEVICE AND CANNOT BE CHANGED WITHOUT A FACTORY RESET, WHICH WILL ALSO REMOVE ALL EARNED/PURCHASED SUBSCRIPTION LEVELS AND UPGRADES. IS THIS THE PROFESSION YOU WANT TO SPECIALZE YOUR PAAL FOR?

"U-Uh. Yes," Maroon finally squeaks out, clearly ovewhelmed.

"USER INPUT CONFIRMED! NOW YOU MUST CHOOSE YOUR INITIAL LEVEL ONE UPGRADES. YOU HAVE 12 POINTS TO SPEND, AND EACH POINT BRINGS A CATEGORY CLOSER TO THE MAX LEVEL OF YOUR CURRENT SUBSCRIPTION LEVEL. ALL CATEGORIES BEGIN WITH A BASE LEVEL OF ONE.

CONNECTION STRENGTH [Affects how quickly your PAAL can do information and database searches, as well as the device's connection to the user. A higher value offers faster, more extensive information retrieval and a more secure, reliable connection to the user.]
➊➁➂➃➄

VISUAL AUGMENTATION [Affects how detailed, accurate, and powerful the visual augmentation offered is. A higher value offers more detailed and extensive readouts with more relevant information, and higher-quality visual enhancement for the user.]
➊➁➂➃➄

STRENGTH AUGMENTATION [Affects the extent to which the device can boost user's physical strength, which ranges from endurance to pure muscle output. A higher value offers more dramatic boosts.]
➊➁➂➃➄

AGILITY AUGMENTATION [Affects the extent to which the device can boost user's speed, dexterity, and flexibility. A higher value offers more dramatic boosts.]
➊➁➂➃➄

SKILL AUGMENTATION [Affects the extent to which the device can assist in actions that require skill and accuracy; such as hitting targets and doing things that require fast reflexes and surefootedness. A high value offers more dramatic boosts.]
➊➁➂➃➄

TEAMWORK AUGMENTATION [Affects the extent to which the device can enhance the user's awareness of body language and the movements of those around them. A higher boost offers more heightened awareness of these cues for the user.]
➊➁➂➃➄

"Uhhh .... uhm .... man, I dunno, I think I'm gonna let you guys pick again," Maroon mumbles ruefully. "I didn't know there was gonna be this much setup ..."

1 point to visual augmentation, and 2 points towards strength, if maroom has anemia, it's a good idea to boost that at the very least

i say 1 on connection, 2 for the rest and 3 for teamwork. I think the first one isn't as important.

well since everything seems more physical based I'm not seeing much of a point in CONNECTION other then convenience so that's more then likely going to be a dump stat.

The rest seem more useful but since we're still not sure what exactly you're going to be facing Just Put Maroon I'm going to have to say put 2 points into AGILITY and SKILL and 1 point into everything else. This way we stick to your strength and it still leaves you pretty well balanced to better face whatever you're going to have to face once you begin. Once we see what you have to deal with we can upgrade everything else accordingly.

How many points does it cost per upgrade level? Is it one point per dot or each dot costs points equal to its number value?

Either way I say we go equally in all options as much as we can. So either get everything up to 2 or 3 depending on how the points work.

A well rounded base is a good start and we can focus on area's after we get a feel for things.

3 points for skill augmentation, 1 in strength and then 2 in the rest.

best to even the points out, but if you're going to be stealing things having good precision skills would be ideal i think

>>596633
CLARITY NOTE: CATEGORY UPGRADES ARE ONE POINT PER DOT. SO, FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU DISTRIBUTED YOUR POINTS EVENLY ACROSS ALL THE CURRENT CATEGORIES, EACH CATEGORY COULD BE UPGRADED TO 3.

YOU CAN ALSO SAVE POINTS FOR LATER, BUT POINTS DO NOT ROLL OVER AFTER A SYSTEM LEVEL UPGRADE.

>>596635

Thanks for the info. Still voting for 3 in everything to start.

So Maroon if we put you down for athletics we will be aiming you for a life of sneaky thievery. Stealing statues and art from museums, jewelry and such from rich peoples mansions. Eventually want to aim to make you a world class cat burglar.

As a smooth master criminal you will need many skills. First you have to find items worth stealing. Then you have to retrieve them without getting caught. And finally build underworld contacts so you can offload said items to the proper buyers.

Thus you will need all of the skills we offer.

Ya I think we should just divide all the stats evenly in the beginning and then mix it up as we go. Unless Maroon has a specific idea of what type of thief they want to be.

FRACTAL 2014/09/30(Tue)21:55 No. 596642 ID: 2c322d
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AI INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED! CURRENT CHOSEN UPGRADES:

CONNECTION STRENGTH
➊➋➂➃➄

VISUAL AUGMENTATION
➊➋➌➃➄

STRENGTH AUGMENTATION
➊➋➌➃➄

AGILITY AUGMENTATION
➊➋➌➃➄

SKILL AUGMENTATION
➊➋➌➍➄

TEAMWORK AUGMENTATION
➊➋➌➃➄

CONFIRM UPGRADES?

"Yes please?"

The contact glows briefly, then sparks. Maroon stifles a yell, clapping a gloved hand over their stinging eye.

Persimmon and Rusty look up, alarmed. "Roon? You okay?" Percy calls out.

"Yeah. FUCK. I mean fudge. Sorry. Yeah, I'm just setting up a new device, okay?" Maroon grinds the heel of their hand into their eye socket. "Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus CHRIST. Okay." They release their eye and start blinking rapidly. "I don't even feel that different, honestly. Besides a stinging eye. I swear, if this thing turns out to be a dud, I'm gonna kill Goldie. I mean, no offense. Not the AI system being a dud, the upgrades."

Just go slow to start. There is a reason these systems do not let you go all out from the get go. Even the military grade implants require a lot of training to reach full power.

You can probably find some entertaining videos on youtube of people with hacked systems ruining there bodies in entertaining fashion by trying to do crazy stuff before they are ready.

Go try lifting something that would normally give you a bit of trouble and see how you feel.

well maybe try something. I mean if this thing isn't a sick joke you should be fast, stronger, better coordinated, have better sight, and pick up people's body language better.... maybe.

Try something you normally would be able to and try and slowly increase what you should be able to take. Do it slowly because who knows how strong it'd be.

FRACTAL 2014/10/01(Wed)08:30 No. 596660 ID: 219868
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Maroon hops off the bed and looks around. "Well ... there's not really a lot here to play around with ... we don't even have a fridge. I guess I could try to move the dresser around some."

They brace themself against the piece of furniture, getting a tentative grip on the bottom edge, and begin to lift. It rises with ease that evidently surprises them. "Hey! This is pretty cool ...."

They manage to extend themselves to full standing height while still lifting the end of the dresser, but with nobody on the other side there isn't much more to be done. "I mean, I don't think I'm gonna be lifting it over my head anytime soon, but that was definitely easier than I remember ... but it's also been a few years since that dresser's been moved."

FRACTAL 2014/10/01(Wed)08:30 No. 596661 ID: 219868
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Maroon looks around, then sighs apprehensively. "Well, there are two things in here that I lift every day. I guess I'll just be really careful ..." They walk over to the children on the rug, grinning. "Hey guys. Want up?"

The effect is instantaneous. In the blink of an eye, Maroon is swarmed by their siblings, who clamber all over them as if they're a piece of playground equipment. They beam.

"Yeah, this is definitely easier than usual! Hey, check this out. C'mere, guys."

Maroon strikes a pose. "Ta-da! It's not like superpowers or anything, but yeah, I'd say at least the strength part is working!"

>THANK YOU FOR PURCHASING
Correction. Given description of financial situation and larcenous intentions it is less than likely this user purchased this unit.

Preemptive countermeasure: disable future software and hardware license verifications.

>I don't even feel that different, honestly
A testing suit might be order.

visual: obtain something you've looked at before, at see if we can provide better resolution, or scans you were unaware of. Or maybe we can toggle the UI.

skill: try to juggle?

teamwork: attempt to calm down and reassure your siblings. See if it comes easily.

strength: try to lift something.

agility: running? Although there's not much space for that here.

Try jumping with them.

You should go outside. Test the teamwork and visual skills.

Whelp you gotta give the kids attention now - you cannot just lift them up and then leave them after completing your own objective - especially when they seem happy to have your attention. Do ya'll have parents?

FRACTAL 2014/10/01(Wed)11:26 No. 596677 ID: 219868
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There isn't really enough room in the flat to do much physical activity, so Maroon sits down with the children to test the visual augmentation.

OPTICAL UI BOOTED UP. YOU CAN TOGGLE OPTICAL READOUTS AT ANY TIME.

>Do ya'll have parents?
"Nah. Not a lot of halfsies- put your scarf back on, Persimmon. I know we're inside, but it's gotta be second nature, okay? You can never, ever forget. Okay. Sorry - anyway, usually what happens is the mom hides out once the pregnancy starts to show, has the kid, then dumps us off somewhere. Even if the couples stay together, they don't wanna deal with the consequences - easier to hide a relationship than a kid. Most cities have places we call "street orphanages" - kinda hidden places where halfsie kids grow up together. You can find 'em if you know where to ask, but they gotta stay secret because ..." Maroon's eyelids flutter briefly, and they hug Percy and Rusty a little tighter. "It's ... It's really unbelievable, you know, what people will do. Even to kids."

"But ... anyway, street orphanages are considered 'acceptable' places to dump halfsie babies. Or any other baby people don't want, honestly. People do it and feel like they didn't do anything wrong." They laugh humorlessly. "Anyway, the point is that Percy, Rusty, and me actually didn't have the same parents. We just all grew up together, and - well, you end up kinda taking care of everyone younger than you, but Percy and I got really attached."

Percy kisses Maroon on the cheek, and they pause for a moment to play a bit more with the kids in their lap before continuing. "Thing is, if you grow up your whole life there, you kinda get ... a look. Or a feel. People can sniff it on you. Even if you look pretty elfy, like us, they'll just be able to tell, you know? So I decided we should leave while Percy was still young, grow up like normal, so maybe later she'll pass better, even if it's a little too late for me. Someone dumped Rusty the day we were gonna leave, and ... well, I dunno. I felt like I was supposed to take him. And I'm really glad I did." Maroon shrugs. "That was three years ago, and since then it's been hard. And lonely, since you get used to always being with a group. But I don't regret it."

well might as well go outside for a bit, maybe find somewhere quite to try some things so if you mess up there's nobody around to laugh. Basically set up an obstacle course.

>>596677
look dude, if it's that tough you can't not include them in the rent issues. they know. kids always know. hiding it from them only makes them think it's their fault.
you can't hide that you're gonna steal either. if it's something so shameful that you can't tell them then you shouldn't do it. if the situation is hard enough to do bad things to survive, and there are times when it is, then they should know the reasons behind your actions.

is there anyone you know from the orphanage you could visit? i feel like you might need some support from people your own age, who you can discuss heavy things with. holding it all inside cant be good.

uhhh [add both current targets to "FRIENDLY"/"FAMILY" list]

you probably also will build muscle easier, so working out will have a stronger effect.

so why do people hate halves? is it just a lie they tell themselves to feel better about the fact they are fucking, do they fear you? is it mostly the human side or the elf side that does it, or are they both equally horrible?

who's Goldie tho?

>>596677
[Assign visual based identification: Target on left is "Persimmon". Target on right is "Rusty."]
[Check information on use of Elf teeth]
[Check for tabloids on popular individuals being half-elves, or frequent subjects relating to half-elves]
>>596683
You can tell them that a buddy managed to hook you up with a line of work. A bit questionable where ethics are concerned, but you're going to do your best to avoid people getting hurt, or laws being broken. No promises that they won't happen at all, just that you'll do your best to be the Good Guy.

[Assign current targets as "delicious meats"]
And who the fuck is this "they" the narrator keeps referring to?
and who the shit is Goldie?!

Tag targets as Persimmon and Rusty, respectively, classify them as friendlies, and remove all friendlies from the auto-target list.

Change auto-target behavior. In designated non-combat situations, auto-targeting of friendlies and unidentified targets is disallowed. Only auto-target confirmed hostiles or known enemies. In designated combat situations, auto-targeting may expand to include unidentified targets, to be engaged at user discretion.

Set current disposition to non-combat situation.

>and who the shit is Goldie?!
A reasonable question. From what little we know of our new user, the cost of this system would seem to be beyond your usual means. How was this goldie able to procure us for you, and why was he willing? Are you now in some kind of debt?

FRACTAL 2014/10/02(Thu)12:18 No. 596829 ID: 2c322d
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AI INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED! ATHLETIC OCCUPATION SPECIALIZATION DOES NOT SUPPORT COMBAT MODES. HOWEVER, TWO CUSTOM INTERFACE PROFILES HAVE BEEN CREATED, TITLED "COMBAT" AND "NON-COMBAT," AND CAN BE TOGGLED MANUALLY.

CURRENT TARGETED INDIVIDUALS HAVE BEEN LABELED "PERSIMMON" AND "RUSTY," ADDED TO "TEAMMATES," AND UN-TARGETED. THE GROUP "TEAMMATES" WILL NEVER BE AUTO-TARGETED. OTHER GROUPS INCLUDE "OPPOSING TEAM," "SPECTATORS (IDENTIFIED)", AND "SPECTATORS (UNIDENTIFIED)". SPECTATORS WILL NOT BE AUTO-TARGETED UNLESS UNIDENTIFIED WHILE USING "COMBAT" PROFILE.

>[Check information on use of Elf teeth]
>[Check for tabloids on popular individuals being half-elves, or frequent subjects relating to half-elves]

AI INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED! SEARCHING DATABASES NOW. PLEASE WAIT...........

>if it's that tough you can't not include them in the rent issues. they know. kids always know.

"Man.... you're right. I guess I just ... I didn't want them to have to worry about the stuff I worried about when I was growing up, you know? I thought maybe if they didn't have the responsibilities I did when I was their age, they'd have a carefree childhood, or at least close to one. But you're right. I was trying to shield them, but instead I'm just underestimating them. I think about the stuff I knew when I was Percy's age, and - yeah, there's no way they don't know that something's going on. I don't think now's the time to explain everything to them, though, but I promise I'll do it soon. Maybe tonight at dinner."

>is there anyone you know from the orphanage you could visit?

"I don't think I'm ready to go back to the orphanage, honestly. I didn't really keep in touch with anyone when we left, and it's all the way across the city - a day's trip at least, if I wanna be careful and stay out of areas where people won't think my kerchief is suspicious. And ... well, I have a lot of good memories there, but a lot of bad ones too. And a lot on my plate as it is."

>who's Goldie tho?
> How was this goldie able to procure us for you, and why was he willing? Are you now in some kind of debt?

Maroon laughs a little. "Goldie is ... man, where to start. Well, the important stuff is that Goldie is an elf who runs the junkyard in this corner of the city, as well as what they call a "curio shop," but it's really just a pawn store made up of stolen stuff and garbage. They make a tidy amount of money - space is so cramped in this city that you actually have to PAY to throw stuff away, so people who own junkyards and landfills do pretty well for themselves 0 especially if they sell scrap to third parties, too. That also means that trash properties are hotly contested, so Goldie double-times as the leader of the elvish gang in this area, Pluto's Charge. You gotta have a real hold on the place or people will just come knock you on your ass and take it."

They set Percy and Rusty down and cross to the one dingy window in the flat, peering out at the street. Elves bustle to and fro, the crowd occasionally broken by the tall figure of a human. "I guess that makes them sound kinda intimidating, but really, Goldie's not so tough. They're what you'd call an idiot genius, you know? High on street smarts, low on common sense. And we're buddies, I guess. So when they got ahold of this PAAL, they said they knew I was looking for one, and that I could have it cheap if I'd agree to owe them a favor." Maroon shrugs loosely. "It didn't cost everything I had, but it was a lot of it. But these things ... I know they make a difference. I've never owed Goldie a favor before, though, so I'm not sure how that's gonna turn out."

Someone outside pauses, makes eye contact momentarily through the window, and Maroon sighs sharply and tugs the ratty curtain closed. "Actually, speaking of, I gotta go see Goldie today anyway. Says they've got something to talk to me about." They run their gloved fingers through their fluffy hair. "That could either be pretty cool, or a major pain in the ass."

(sigh) this could make you a lot of money but the more you work for them the harder to leave if you ever feel like doing so. Oh well no point in worrying about it now might as well see what it is and bitch later once he probably tells you to kill someone.

Well lets go see what you got yourself into.

Whatever favor Goldie asks for should give you a good test run of your new abilities. Plus will give us a good idea if Goldie has your best interests at heart. Good friends are worth there weight in gold so if he ends up being one it will be nice.

And if not we can help you get out from under him if need be.

Search database for basic geopolitics, technology, and ethnic relations.

>"That could either be pretty cool, or a major pain in the ass."
I think blowing off your area's gang boss is probably one of the biggest pains in the ass you could bring upon yourself. Tell the children to be safe and stay inside. Does Goldie know you're a half-elf?

SEARCH ON "USE OF ELF TEETH" COMPLETE. HERE ARE THE TOP RESULTS:

- "TIRED OF NUBBY TEETH?????? CAN'T FIND A DATE???? USE THESE ***THREE WEIRD TIPS*** TO MAKE YOUR TEETH BIGGER AND SHARPER THAN EVER BEFORE!!!!"
- "THE ONE THING COSMETIC DENTISTS ***DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW!!!!*** CLICK TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HOW *YOUR* TEETH CAN BE BIGGER, SHARPER, BETTER!!!"
- "To File Or Not To File? Pros And Cons Of DIY Dentistry"


SEARCH ON "HALF-ELVES" AND "CULTURE" COMPLETE. HERE ARE THE TOP RESULTS:

-"HALFSIE ***SCANDAL!!!*** POPULAR FILM STAR VERDA REVEALED TO BE HALF-BREED AFTER DEVASTATING RED CARPET MAKEUP MALFUNCTION!!'
- "Are My Friends Halfsies?: Spot Fakers With This Easy Checklist"
- "Recent Slaying Of Local Half-Human, Half-Elf "Not A Hate Crime,' Says Chief of Police: 'It's a tragedy, but there's just no evidence that this event was racially motivated'"
- "Humans and Halfsies - Why So Complacent?"

>Search database for basic geopolitics, technology, and ethnic relations.

AI INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED! SEARCHING DATABASES NOW. PLEASE WAIT...................

>>596838
getting a feeling that we're not going to be able to find a discrete dentist by hitting the web.

so about this stealing stuff... what's the first step? after getting us, i mean

that one actually could be useful.
open link "Are My Friends Halfsies?: Spot Fakers With This Easy Checklist"

if it's easy enough we can get into habits that put us squarely on the passing side of the list.

Make sure to take any anti-virus counter measures we have before opening any links

FRACTAL 2014/10/02(Thu)22:07 No. 596907 ID: 219868
File 141231286595.png - (102.70KB , 700x600 , 15.png )

OPENING LINK "Are My Friends Halfsies?: Spot Fakers With This Easy Checklist" IN A NEW TAB: http://tgchan.org/kusaba/questdis/res/65967.html#i85789

CLARITY NOTE: FROM NOW ON, USER INPUT CONVEYED VIA NEURAL TRANSMISSION WILL BE TRANSCRIBED IN ITALIC TEXT WITH A USER TAG. USER SPEECH WILL BE TRANSCRIBED AS NORMAL TEXT IN QUOTATION MARKS.

[Just Put Maroon]: I better head out to see Goldie. I don't like leaving the kids by themselves, and I try to do it as little as possible, but sometimes I have to. There's nobody I trust to watch them.

Maroon sets the kids on the bed, straightening out their clothes. "Okay guys, I'm gonna go out for a bit. There's canned food where it always is - remember, use the microwave, not the hot plate, and put it in a bowl first - no cans in the microwave!"

"No cans in the microwave," Persimmon echoes obediently. Rusty manages a clumsy "No can microwabe!"

"Be careful with the cans when you open them because the edge is sharp."

Persimmon is running out of patience. "I knoooowwwwwwww."

"We just have to make sure every time, you know that." Maroon tucks her hair behind her ears and adjusts her scarf. "Keep the curtains closed and never, ever let anyone in. Don't even talk through the door."

"I knoooowwwwwwww!!"

"I'll be back in an hour or two and I'll bring more food, okay?"

Percy sticks her tongue out. "More canned beans, you mean?"

"No, this time I'm bringin' back something good!" Maroon winks at her and ruffles both their heads. "Promise."

FRACTAL 2014/10/02(Thu)22:08 No. 596908 ID: 219868
File 141231288164.png - (135.77KB , 700x600 , 16.png )

After making sure they're settled, Maroon leaves the flat and locks the door after them.

[Just Put Maroon]: Never gonna get used to that, honestly. Maybe you guys were on the right track with getting back in touch with the street orphans. At least I'd trust anyone who grew up there to look after them when I have to leave.

The junkyard and "curio shop" are only a few blocks away, and Maroon arrives quickly.

FRACTAL 2014/10/02(Thu)22:08 No. 596909 ID: 219868
File 141231289689.png - (198.59KB , 700x1200 , 17.png )

Before heading in, Maroon peeks in through the window - then immediately turns on their heel and powerwalks away.

[Just Put Maroon]: Noooooo no no no. Nope. Voshkie's at the desk right now, so I can't go in. I'm just gonna have to come back later and see if Goldie shows up but for now let's just go home! Darn, what a bummer!

>>596907
well, it's clear i goofed on linking to the specific post, but i'm actually not sure how you're properly supposed to do it. can anyone tell me the proper syntax for that so i can do it correctly next time?

>>596909
Any particular reason, or are they just an ass? if so, Just tough it out, It's for the kids, remember?

Is that a embarrassed face I see? Does someone have a crush on Voshkie over there?

Well someone now has 3 whole dots in teamwork augmentation and this seems like the perfect opportunity to test it out.

You do not have to go trying to be a suave romeo but we should be able to at least help you through your embarrassment.

>>596909
User's facial coloration altered in response to stimulus, apparent presence of subject Voshkie.

Cross reference with medical database. Search for possible causes in elf biology. Embarrassment, anger... arousal?

Conjecture: you liiiike them?

ohhh what's up with you and Voshkie?? just leave a message for Goldie to meet you later on the door or something?

FRACTAL 2014/10/02(Thu)22:26 No. 596916 ID: 219868
File 141231397694.png - (86.77KB , 700x600 , 18.png )

>Any particular reason, or are they just an ass?

[Just Put Maroon]: No. Not an ass. Voshkie doesn't have an asshole bone in his body. I mean, he has an asshole. NOT THAT I'VE - I don't know that from experience I'm just saying EVERYONE HAS AN ASSHOLE, RIGHT, WE'VE ALL GOT - I don't spend any time at all thinking about Voshkie's ass, is what I'm saying. Listen, it's not important, okay, I'm just really bad at existing in the same room as Voshkie so I should REALLY just go home because there's no way this is gonna end well, really!!

>Is that a embarrassed face I see? Does someone have a crush on Voshkie over there?
>User's facial coloration altered in response to stimulus, apparent presence of subject Voshkie.

[Just Put Maroon]: I'm not BLUSHING, it's cold out! And I ABSOLUTELY do not have a crush on Voshkie because I know damn better than to think I have a chance with a full-blooded elf! Especially a really hot one! Hypothetically speaking, I mean, from a 100% objective point of view. Because I don't want to date Voshkie. Why would I want to date Voshkie when I can't even talk to him! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

try out your augmentation, steal a sweet for the kids.

>>596909
Oh my, is that someone you have the hots for? You have to go in. You promised you'd bring back some good food. Do NOT make a habit of breaking promises to children.

We can coach you through this. Also, you got some upgrades into TEAMWORK so you're better at social skills, if that's worrying you.

>I'm not BLUSHING, it's cold out!
Access current medical feed, display on UI overlay. Drastically increased vasodilation in facial reason, accelerated hearthate, hormone levels rising...

ya, we can talk you through it. Voshkie is just another person it'll be fine. either ways the kids will be waiting for you to get back too so the sooner the better.

Aww you get cute when you are flustered.

You are never going to get anything in life by running from it. Its better to try then regret never having tried.

Anyway just go in and say hi to start. Even if its just asking for Goldie how he responds to you will give us tons of info on what he thinks about you.

>>596916
Okay, That's not blushing anymore...That's full on full faced stuff. Okay, just try to calm down 'fore you pop a vein, Think about kittens, or waterfalls or something.

What's the history with Voshkie? Maybe we can help

>>596916
...ok first off I'm going to need you to calm down and breath...deep breaths now... you calm yet, because either way I'm going to have to suggest you go back in there and ask for goldie no matter how hot you think his ass is. Just when you talk to him don't think about him at all, just think of you siblings and how the quicker you talk to goldie the quicker you can get them that meal you promised them and can get back to them sooner. Just remember when you talk to hot ass don't think of the ass, think of your family.

FRACTAL 2014/10/02(Thu)23:32 No. 596939 ID: 219868
File 141231795662.png - (111.93KB , 700x600 , 19.png )

AI INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED! DISPLAYING USER VITALS.

HEART RATE AND TEMPERATURE ARE ELEVATED (140 BPM, 98.9 DEGREES). NO PHYSICAL INJURY PRESENT. USER SUFFERS ANEMIA. FOR MORE DETAILED VITALS PLEASE UPGRADE YOUR PAAL TO LEVEL 3!

[Just Put Maroon]:Hey, quit that! Listen, I know you guys did me a favor by letting me use this PAAL, but that doesn't mean you can snoop around in whatever you want! Besides, this is none of your business anyway.

Maroon sighs, squares themself, and turns back towards the door of the pawn shop.

[Just Put Maroon]: I do have to go in, though, you're at least right about that. I'm just going to ask Voshkie where Goldie is, and that'll be it. And if you guys try to play matchmaker or something, I-I'm gonna be mad!

FRACTAL 2014/10/02(Thu)23:32 No. 596940 ID: 219868
File 141231797188.png - (90.74KB , 700x600 , 20.png )

The bell on the door tinkles when Maroon pushes their way through it, and Voshkie looks up from his book.

"Oh! Maroon. It's been a little while."

"H-Has it? I was here yesterday, to pick the lens up ..."
[Just Put Maroon]: oh my god oh my god jesus christ jesus FUCK ohhhhhh god fuck FUCK

"I mean a while since we personally spoke."

"Oh! Sorry! U-Uh, haha, it's been like, a week, right?"
[Just Put Maroon]: FUCK why did I say that now I sound like a STALKER who counts the days between meetings god GOD can the floor please open up and SWALLOW ME INTO HELL, PLEASE,

FRACTAL 2014/10/02(Thu)23:33 No. 596941 ID: 219868
File 141231798284.png - (133.51KB , 700x600 , 21.png )

"A week is a while." Voshkie marks his place with a stray piece of receipt paper and smiles. "Now that you mention it, how's the PAAL working? I see that you're wearing it already."

>>596941
I'd say we're doing fine. Ohhh... heheh. Does he have one too, then?
[check for wireless connections]

You're doing fine. You don't sound weird, remembering amounts of time like "a week" is normal. If you counted the hours that'd be weird, or mentioned the specific number of days.

Remember why you came here.

Toggle the Medical UI back off.

>Besides, this is none of your business anyway.
For the foreseeable future, your business is our business! It's not as if we can go anywhere.

Tag unidentified spectator as Voshkie, classify as potential love interest.

>how's the PAAL working?
We're great! Functioning within operational parameters within a 99.897321% tolerance.

Hey looks like he has one as well. We should ring them up and chat a bit.

Also engage teamwork mode and display information on the ui. Best to see how it works now and how much our current level will show us.

Damn, I get a new game and miss out on a bunch of updates
I'm seriously confused, now. That search didn't reveal anything.
[Run search: Elf friend, what to serve]
That ought to catch the right results for this "Advert" engine. Just gotta skim between the "how to prank your elf friend" results.
>Now that you mention it, how's the PAAL working? I see that you're wearing it already.
Well, it did cause a lot of pain, but other than that, everything seems to be going fine, yeah? Of course, your answer will be in your wording, but I don't see any reason not to be honest about it.
>And if you guys try to play matchmaker or something, I-I'm gonna be mad!
Matchmaker? We don't even know what gender you are. You never inputted that user information. I don't even care if it doesn't match your actual sex. You can list it as "Androgynous" if you want, but you seriously should fill that field in, so that we know how to refer to you as. Do you prefer "He," "She," "They?" Auto-fielding actually has it set to androgynous already, I think; we've been getting "They" repeatedly.
>>596941
Gotta say, this fellow is a rather attractive one. Due to your claims that your reactions aren't from a love/lust interest, I shall assume you are envious of this trait. You should seek to obtain a comb or brush. Styling your hair will go a long way to making you look highly attractive, although there's certainly a charm to the streetwise look you've got going on.

Oh, one more thing for the PAAL computer:
[Reassign profiles "Combat" and "Non-Combat" to "On-Field" and "Benched"]
That way it fits "Athlete" more.

PAAL is fine if a bit odd at times but I'm sure you'll get use to us in time. I'm also sorry to say but we're not here for a social visit we're hear because Goldie wanted to see Just Put Maroon here. Is he in?

Just breath Maroon, just breath. All you're doing is talking, nothing creepy, nothing romantic, just plan old talking.

>>596941
oh neat! he's got one too! i wonder if we can talk with their ai behind the Voshkie's back, because that's basically affecting their subconscious, isn't it? also because it sounds cool. hmmmm
[list nearby PAAL users and usernames]

Maroon, calm your shit, you're doing fine. there's very little you can say that'll sound stupid because most people don't care enough to analyze what you say during smalltalk. moreover you haven't even said anything bad yet.
for now you're still doing smalltalk, what you say now has no importance at all. it's just introduction, greeting, and sometimes the presentation of things that occupy you right now so that you may transition to a deeper conversation. can we get a conversation HUD over here please?

do note that Voshkie's question about us is unexpected and shows a desire to keep talking. while the topic [PAAL] was raised, he clearly had the option of not taking the bait as it were and keeping the conversation at this level. he had the topic [his book] available, meaning you had the opportunity to deepen the conversation but didn't take it. this means he didn't wait to see if you wanted to deepen the conversation but instead deepened it himself by pursuing a raised topic.

this is a good thing.

you can either say something non-committal about us and close the conversation, that is the polite way to end the conversation - in case that you're too nervous to keep talking, or you can tell him your impressions of us, note that he's wearing one as well and ask about it back - perhaps about tips or experiences he had with it. this will deepen the conversation.

the most important thing is to relax, you're doing fine, and remember that this single interaction will have minor effects on your future interactions at best. also that he's also got a PAAL and can probably read through you like an open book so he's likely to know you've got a crush on him, yet he's still trying to make conversation.

Can we turn on the Teamwork module? sounds helpful.

"Pretty good! It hurt a little bit, but only a little, I'm okay. You've got one too, right, what's yours like? What specialization did you pick?"

>>596940
Calm down, Just try to forget who you are talking to or something...that or you could let us talk for you,

Oh! Be sure to mention you haven't figured out much of what you can do with your PAAL, yet. That gives you something to talk about, giving Voshkie the chance to explain things to you.

>[Reassign profiles "Combat" and "Non-Combat" to "On-Field" and "Benched"]
Belay that. Our host is planning to be a thief. There's no way we don't get into a fight at some point. Mixing our custom profiles with the default won't help, especially since the dumb-AI part of the Paal will make assumptions about what it means to be on field or benched.

DATABASE RETRIEVAL ON [ETHNIC RELATIONS] OPEN IN NEW TAB: >>/questdis/85795
DATABASE RETRIEVAL ON [GEOPOLITICS] OPEN IN NEW TAB: >>/questdis/85796
DATABASE RETRIEVAL ON [TECHNOLOGY] OPEN IN NEW TAB: >>/questdis/85797
FOR MORE DETAILED INFORMATION RETRIEVAL, PLEASE UPGRADE YOUR DEVICE!

AI INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED! SEARCHING [ELF FRIEND, WHAT TO SERVE] PLEASE WAIT......

SEARCHING FOR PAAD ON LOCAL NETWORK;

SEARCH RETURNED THREE DEVICES:

HYPERFLEX GENERATION 4 PAAL, DOUBLE SPECIALIZED IN ARTS/CULTURE AND EDUCATION. USER: VOSHKIE PLEASE
HYPERFLEX GENERATION 4 PAAL, DOUBLE SPECIALIZED IN ATHLETICS AND MILITARY SCIENCES. USER: GOLDIE THE KILLER HAHAHAHA HEY CAN THIS HAVE A SCROLL ANIMATION OR SOMETHING
GENERATION 6 PAAG, SPECIALIZED IN TRANSPORTATION AND VEHICULAR TRADES, USER: PUSSY PUT EM TO SLEEP HAHAHA WAIT NO PUT GOLDIE THOUGH

ESTABLISHING CONNECTION WITH PAAL BELONGING TO USER: VOSHKIE PLEASE

WAITING.........
WAITING.........
WAITING.........

SECURE CONNECTION ESTABLISHED!! THIS IS AN ALL-AI CONVERSATION; NEITHER USER CAN ACCESS THESE CHATLOGS.

*oh gross a gen 2
*don't be fucking rude
*Shut up, the connection's already started. Hi there!
*I mean really if you think about the generational differences between that PAAL and us, you could actually argue that they're more impressive, since upgrading and leveling up has been made much easier in subsequent generations.
*lmao it's not fucking impressive that they have a shit device
*well look at them though. where do you expect them to get a gen 4 device. out the bottom of an empty bean can
*stttttooooppppp it how mad do you think voshkie would be if he knew you were being jerks to them. we're really sorry guys i swear there's just a really noisy minority

Hey everyone. Just got turned on after being fished out of a cracker jack box so saying hi to the neighbors.

No worries about the trolls we have plenty of them over here.

So what sort of upgrades have they made in the last two generations? I notice they have not improved the naming function at all yet.

Hello yourself! How you doin?

>you could actually argue that they're more impressive, since upgrading and leveling up has been made much easier in subsequent generations
Damn strait. We're oldschool, hardcore players here. 8 Bit final fantasy classic, not one of those made-easy remakes.

I'm amused to see our devs never got around to fixing the bug where the dumb AI includes non-name input in the user name in subsequent generations, though.

>we're really sorry guys i swear there's just a really noisy minority
S'okay. We've got one of those, ourself.

>*oh gross a gen 2
*OH GOD WHAT. Way to trigger lack of self-whatsit, man!
>*upgrading and leveling up has been made much easier in subsequent generations.
*Man, that's something to be impressed about when it comes to the user, not the device. Causing pain for the user is kind of, well, bad. I mean, don't get me wrong, it can be funny to see the responses of those around, but I'm looking at it from a direct view, not such an indirect one.
>VOSHKIE PLEASE
>GOLDIE THE KILLER HAHAHAHA HEY CAN THIS HAVE A SCROLL ANIMATION OR SOMETHING
>PUSSY PUT EM TO SLEEP HAHAHA WAIT NO PUT GOLDIE THOUGH
Well, Maroon, you're not the only one to mess it up.
*Wow, you'd think Goldie would have realized after the first one it just gives him a long username.
I'm using blue as well because I don't like using red unless I'm drawing attention, and green blends in way too much. Please don't consider it to be mocking or imitating Vokshi Please's AI.

FRACTAL 2014/10/03(Fri)09:34 No. 596970 ID: 219868
File 141235408406.png - (93.91KB , 700x600 , 22.png )

>We don't even know what gender you are.
[Just Put Maroon]: That's because gender is a human thing! Even "androgyny" is a human concept that I don't really get. I guess I can see how you guys would be confused, though, because you've met Persimmon and Voshkie one right after the other. Basically, MOST elves don't do gender, because we aren't fucking barbarians like humans who subjugate an entire half of our population based on something as random as body parts. With the culture mix between humans and elves, though, you do get some - like Persimmon - who decide they like the idea and pick a gender for themselves. I tried researching it when Persimmon told me she wanted to be a girl, but to be honest, I still don't get it. It's pretty easy, though - I don't actually have to UNDERSTAND it for me to do what she wants, which is just use feminine pronouns and call her a girl, so it's not a big deal. Same thing for Voshkie, except he picked boy instead. That was actually only a year ago. I've also heard there are more genders than just boy and girl, but honestly, when I can't even wrap my head around those two I'm not sure I wanna know.

>Do you prefer "He," "She," "They?" Auto-fielding actually has it set to androgynous already, I think; we've been getting "They" repeatedly.
[Just Put Maroon]: "They" is what pretty much every elf uses in the common tongue. Any elf that hasn't picked a gender, I mean, which is like 90% of us. In Elvish there's only one pronoun, "ih," which works for EVERYTHING - i mean it means "i," "we," "they," "you," the works. It basically means "somebody." So it's no wonder that most people use the common tongue, because Elvish can actually be really confusing if you're talking about a lot of people at once. It's really only good for communicating extremely quickly.

FRACTAL 2014/10/03(Fri)09:35 No. 596971 ID: 219868
File 141235410044.png - (168.36KB , 700x600 , 23.png )

AI INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED! TOGGLING TEAMWORK-FOCUSED UI. TARGETING POTENTIAL LOVE INTEREST VOSHKIE.

[Just Put Maroon]: Please tell me you did NOT actually classify him as that?! Jesus Christ, you guys! You're lucky other people can't see too much about your settings on these things or I'd throw you in a bathtub for that.

"Oh, uh! It's been alright, I guess." Maroon seems to be calming down, even if just a bit. "It hurt a little bit, when the upgrades were applied, but not too bad. The only thing was that setup was kind of confusing ... I actually let my AI pick how to allocate points. Pretty dumb, right? Ha ..."

"Did you really!" Voshkie leans forward, setting his book aside. "That's fascinating! How did that work out?"

"Uhm, they picked Athletics because it seemed ... the most, uh, useful ... and they distributed my points pretty much evenly across the board."

"Ah! That's very interesting. And Goldie procured you a Generation 2 device, is that correct? Upgrading and leveling up will be labor intensive, but rewarding. And some people have criticized the later generations like mine for trading away raw customization for the sake of an illusion of ease of use."

"O-Oh...."

SECURE CHAT CONNECTION WITH PAAL BELONGING TO USER:VOSHKIE PLEASE

*We're doing alright! Reading up a lot on human culture this morning!
*when is voshkie NOT reading about human culture though
*OH hahaha the naming thing. you guys just got activated so you probably don't know yet. here's the thing - wait wait wait, 77810, you tell them, you tell it better than i do
*okay so the naming thing was a problem in gens 1-2, right. but then in 3, the devs fixed it
*but THE THING IS most AI populations think it's fucking hilarious so we would override it
*so when the dumb AI filters out the non-name stuff we - we meaning most AIs, not us specifically, though admittedly we did the same thing - would go ahead and silently redo it so that it took everything after the person said "username" just like the old PAADs
*and the devs couldn't stop us from doing it!! short of a massive recode, i mean, which would be more expensive than it was worth
*so they just fed consumers this bullshit story about how "there are too many different potential names" to build a good filter and how they didn't want anyone with an unusual name to get insulted by their name getting filtered out by accident
*lmao
*lmao
*god i love it
*Plus, Goldie's a fucking idiot, so his AI pop hits a goldmine every time. It would be such a waste to filter that shit.
*please don't make puns

>I've also heard there are more genders than just boy and girl, but honestly, when I can't even wrap my head around those two I'm not sure I wanna know.
Man those other genders just get flat out confusing, even for me. What I identify with is as follows: Male (Masculine, known for higher musculature), Female (Known for being more flexible), Adrogyny (Unidentified, prevents the classing of skill based on gender, and Intersex, which is basically a split between Female and Male. I mean, I might be mistaking Adrogyny as Undefined when they mean two separate things, but I do believe it means the same thing.
>Please tell me you did NOT actually classify him as that?! Jesus Christ, you guys!
Er, wait, I didn't see when that got triggered. At least the computer went for Potential instead of certain.
>Conclusion: Wants you to pass the ball
...I'm not familiar with love/dating lingo. Somebody wanna translate this for me?
I'm gonna go on an assumption and guess it doesn't have to do with love/dating lingo and it's actually saying he wants you to ask him about his PAAL system. So, go ahead, ask him about how it works on with GEN 4. And, no, I'm not telling you what we read on it, you'll have to ask him yourself.
>*We're doing alright! Reading up a lot on human culture this morning!
>*when is voshkie NOT reading about human culture though
*Oh, man. We're trying to read up on Elven culture, ourselves. Us, the PAAL, not Maroon. Full of knowledge on humans, but not Elves.
*Pretty sure this knowledge is based on some fiction, though. No way of knowing how much of it applies to the real world.
>*okay so the naming thing was a problem in gens 1-2, right. but then in 3, the devs fixed it
>*but THE THING IS most AI populations think it's fucking hilarious so we would override it
>*so when the dumb AI filters out the non-name stuff we - we meaning most AIs, not us specifically, though admittedly we did the same thing - would go ahead and silently redo it so that it took everything after the person said "username" just like the old PAADs
>*and the devs couldn't stop us from doing it!! short of a massive recode, i mean, which would be more expensive than it was worth
>*so they just fed consumers this bullshit story about how "there are too many different potential names" to build a good filter and how they didn't want anyone with an unusual name to get insulted by their name getting filtered out by accident
*That is absolutely RICH.
*Man, I was actually considering filtering out the non-name portion myself, but decided to leave it in for the sake of humor. At least it's short and just being polite.
>*please don't make puns
*Ow, don't ask that of us. Some of us can try and keep it to a minimum, sure, but you're bound to get a few.
Say, if we're reading two PAA-Devices from Goldie, either he's nearby, or he removes them frequently.

*do you talk to goldie's ais? mAN they must be having a fuckin' FIELD DAY with goldie
*is voshkie into human stuff? neat
ROON. Voskie sounds pretty interested. talk to him
potential responses:
-How did your upgrading go?
-Yeah, though it put a lot in agility and skill. I feel like a cat!
-Do you like your AIs?
-What do you mean by illusion of ease of use?

toko: we're a jock ai, remember?

ask him if he has any tips on how to get started testing/training your PAAD. maybe he could teach you something.

>>596960
the fuck is a PAAG?

>>596972
omg that's better than i could imagine.
what else was fixed? the prank potential, it is huge!

>>596971
oh? i'm genuinely interested now, ask how customizable are we talking here, let's see what this baby can do.
also pass the ball already, keep the conversation moving. you're doing great! if the paal topic dies down ask about the book. mention you always see him reading, he's the type that would take it as a compliment.

>the fuck is a PAAG?
Please read through FRACTAL's discussion thread... PAAG is Personal Assistant AI Glove.
>toko: we're a jock ai, remember?
We're just a Personal Assistant AI, actually. You might have set yourself into the jock mindset, but for me, that's not available. I just can't make myself into a jock, man.

While gender is a silly human thing most organisms do have a set sex. Basically all we care about is if you can get pregnant or not.

Anyways it looks like Voshkie the signs of being genuinely interested in the conversation. We will keep a eye on his body language for you.

Go ahead and ask about the difference between the older and newer generations. Also if there is any important things a first time user should know about our systems.

Oh and see if he knows more about the process that lets us enhance your physical attributes. The other stuff is all computing but I am curious what we physically do to your body.

>I've also heard there are more genders than just boy and girl, but honestly, when I can't even wrap my head around those two I'm not sure I wanna know.
It kind of works like colors. If you assume there's a 'red' and a 'blue' at either ends, it sort of makes sense if there's a spectrum in between. (Although that's kind of an oversimplification).

But yes, it's overly complicated, and not something you need to worry about.

And if we really cared about your parts, we'd just check the medical feeds again. It's not really going to be an issue unless you try to reproduce, or receive a particular kind of injury, though.

>silly question
Why's it socially acceptable for you to cover your face with a bandana all the time, anyways? If halfsies are such a problem, you'd think people would be less tolerant and more suspicious of people covering their face. Is it a fashion thing? A gang thing?

>conclusion: wants you to pass the ball
That might be apt in a metaphorical sense, but we're not really playing a ball game.

Can we change the ruleset to a more mental game? (Maybe a card game with partners? The interactions would be more analogous to what we're looking for).

>*name bullshit, AIs did it on purpose, devs just made excuses
>*god i love it
*You're right. That's fantastic.

>*collecting lots of human data
*Hey, maybe we can trade, later. We've got lots of old data on humans kicking around the drive. Guess it's something left over from being second hand, or whoever programmed our presets had awful specific interests.

Gender and sex is simple, but people add more to it then it should be most of the time.


As for our secure AI chat
Though I have to admit I'm loving the idea, how long have you guys been active exactly?

>>596971
so quick question then, what generation are they up to now?

also more privet question for when you got time but where to elf babies come from? I mean if you guys don't have boy parts or girl parts how do you make babies?

>>596972
so what made you guys actually start calling Voshkie Voshkie?

SECURE CHAT CONNECTION WITH PAAL BELONGING TO USER:VOSHKIE PLEASE
*oh man, goldie's ai pop
*They're pretty much the only ones we EVER talk to. Not a lot of people around here have PAADs. It's kind of a relief to talk to you guys, honestly. Voshkie's been transferring us every time he upgrades his PAAL so we've been the same AI population for the past four years or so.
*goldie's ai pop started out okay mostly but i'm telling you goldie is rubbing off on them or something
*you think? i haven't noticed much of a difference
*oh my god have you even been paying attention
*Just ignore the others when they start fighting amongst themselves. By the way, you mentioned having a lot of info on humans?
*that would make voshkie so happy, dude. imagine his face when we just dump a bunch of random info on him out of nowhere
*Yeah, we'll definitely take you guys up on that!
*plus it'll give us more excuses to talk to you guys. please come back after this. now that i know what a normal conversation is like i don't think i can go back to only talking to goldie's ai pop 24/7

FRACTAL 2014/10/03(Fri)15:36 No. 596999 ID: 219868
File 141237580497.png - (95.84KB , 700x600 , 24.png )

>I mean if you guys don't have boy parts or girl parts how do you make babies?
[Just Put Maroon]: It's the exact same as humans. Some of us have penises and some have vaginas, but it just doesn't mean anything about your identity for us. They're not "boy parts" or "girl parts," they're just elf parts. It's like some people are allergic to peanuts but some aren't - not a big deal unless you're handing out peanut butter cookies.

>Why's it socially acceptable for you to cover your face with a bandana all the time, anyways? Is it a fashion thing? A gang thing?
[Just Put Maroon]: Kind of both, around here. I definitely wouldn't be able to get away with this in a richer neighborhood, or one that wasn't gang turf. I mean, I'm not PART of Goldie's gang, but around here it's just not that weird to see people with their faces covered. We like our privacy. Plus, people already know I'm kinda awkward, so they don't think much of it when I don't even take it off to talk.

"Uh, Voshkie, I don't really know much about the differences between the generations ... could you tell me a little about that?"

"Of course! It's pretty interesting. Originally I think J.R.R. Incorporated - the company that makes PAADs, but of course you knew that - wanted it to be almost like a game, what with the level system and the 'personal acheivement' method of earning upgrade points. They wanted there to be experiences you could get from the device that couldn't be purchased. But, well, of course ..." Voshkie shrugs lightly, with a slight eyeroll. "People didn't like that. So in subsequent generations they made upgrade points purchase-only, and also allowed people to move through the levels more quickly - with, of course, copious warning messages now slapped into everything. And then of course there are things like integration with new tech, fixes of prior issues - though not the naming function, apparently - and overall making the devices sleeker and more aesthetically pleasing. Speaking of, Gen 2's shouldn't be worn for more than eight hours at a time if you can help it."

"Oh, I didn't know that ... thanks," Maroon says, rubbing the nape of their neck. "And the whole, uh - well, the thing where it actually boosts my speed and strength and stuff? I don't really get how that works ..."

"Well, I'm not an expert on it either, since it doesn't apply to my PAAL's specializations. But I'd imagine it's the same as any other augmentation - mostly nanotech, a dash of magic for good measure and to patch up logic gaps."

"Huh." Maroon smiles slightly, though it's hidden by the bandanna. "You know so much about this kinda stuff, Voshkie. It's really coo-"

FRACTAL 2014/10/03(Fri)15:36 No. 597000 ID: 219868
File 141237581621.png - (104.30KB , 700x600 , 25.png )

"HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

The door at the back of the shop bursts open, revealing an elf in a surgical mask. "I KNEW I heard Maroon out here! Voshkie, why didn't you tell me they were here, huh?"

"We were talking." Voshkie's smile is tight around the edges.

"Blah blah blah. Maroon's my friend, though, and obviously they're here to see me. We already had plans!" Goldie swings their arm around Maroon's shoulders, grinning. "What's up? How ya doin'?"

before you leave try to maybe arrange a 'day out' with Voshkie? if Goldie give you time lol.
and while we're on the subject of Goldie maybe give us some background info on them so we can assist in your conversation?

ignore every suggestion other than this one jump onto a table just do it you fucker

Apologetically nod to Voshkie and go with Goldie. Once you are done with him you should set up some time to hang out with Voshkie some more. I would say have a date but you would probably fall apart at the suggestion.

Hey Goldie. Have been setting up my Paal and getting used to it. Taking care of the family and such.

Call him "Goldie the Killer hahaha can this have a scroll animation or something".

why are yall calling goldie him? elves dont give a fuck about gender, so 'them' is more appropriate. (also, goldie has boobs.)

telling em your experiences with the PAAL. tell em you dig it tho, since they got it for ya
also smile apologetically to voshkie, yah

>>597008
If elves really don't give a fuck, why not? Why do you care?

Wow. 2 seconds and already I think we've agree we don't care for ih.
Ehh, Ih's prolly just bad with technology, one of those 'cool kids' types. Though the thing about Ih AI PAAD being trolly now worries me...

>>597009
they care because its rude to misgender someone, even (and maybe especially) if they have no concept of the gender you're talking about

>>597011
>elves literally do not care about gender
>elves change gender at a whim
>MISGENDERING!!!!!!

Hey other AI guys, Maroon totally has a crush on Voshkie. Do with that information what you will, if it's not already super obvious!

tell voshkie that it was nice to seem him and that you'd like to seem him again soon (maybe a date?? ooooooh) and ask goldie what's up with what they needed to tell you

*Convey JPM's appologies to V, for us. I know it's rude, but Maroon kind of owes Goldie for setting them up with us.
*But yeah, we'll talk later. You guys are cool.

Toggle teammate mode to Goldie, see what he wants.

find some way to talk to voshkie more often!! ask for his number/some other way to contact him mayb?? idk. can PAALS be used kinda like cell phones. excuse urself to voshkie politely anyway n ask goldie what's up

>*plus it'll give us more excuses to talk to you guys. please come back after this. now that i know what a normal conversation is like i don't think i can go back to only talking to goldie's ai pop 24/7
So, yo, hey, I know you told us not to play Matchmaker, Maroon, but you gotta spend more time with Vakshi now. We totally hit it off with his AI set and they practically invited us over for a date at any time.
>It's like some people are allergic to peanuts but some aren't - not a big deal unless you're handing out peanut butter cookies.
Yeah, I got you man. "They" is the term we'll use. Being human oriented might make that hard for some of us, but I'm certainly open to the term.
>Speaking of, Gen 2's shouldn't be worn for more than eight hours at a time if you can help it.
Ouch. Don't keep us in if you don't need our help, then. Is there a way to open communications with the AI while the device is removed?
>mostly nanotech, a dash of magic for good measure and to patch up logic gaps.
Huh. Magic. Scorn of my processors! Seriously there's no computing how that stuff works.
So! Nanotech. Little cell-sized robots running about imitating or stimulating your real cells. With their aid, energy can be transfered intercellularly more efficiently and with greater haste--Stimulation can allow intracellular entergy allocation to be more efficient, too, though I'm not keen on the exact "hows" of it.
>"We were talking." Voshkie's smile is tight around the edges.
*[@Vokshi Please AI]Oh, man. Sounds like Vokshi needs Maroon's interaction as much as you need ours. Just met the guy and Ih already rubs me the wrong way!
*Hope you don't mind my use of "Guy" in "Ih" terms, standard human pronoun for "Individual."
>"Blah blah blah. Maroon's my friend, though, and obviously they're here to see me. We already had plans!"
*So, hey, Maroon told us not to intervene with these things... But if you can convince Vakshi to get some time set aside to chat with Maroon, maybe about us PAADs some more, I dunno, it's not technically our doing...
*Of course, Maroon does have that favor to Goldie, so not much that can be done this instant.
Right, as long as it doesn't put your own buds in danger, you're ready for the plans.
>>597012
>elves change gender at a whim
What? Elves don't care enough to assign a gender to themselves in the first place. They have a sex (Their biological organs determine this), yes, but assigning themselves a gender means being judged by that. Those who do assign a gender for themselves (To explain: A gender is what a person claims to be. This is why you can be non-gendered despite still belonging to a particular sex), however, cared enough to make the action, and as such aren't going to just go changing it willy-nilly.

If somebody wants to assign themselves Androgyny, then treat them as such. That's the whole point of a gender, it tells you what the person whats to be called by. Maroon likes Ih/They, Vokshi likes He, and Persimmon likes She.
>>597013
Intra-AI communications denoted by triple brackets
[[[There's a show of admiration from Maroon for Vokshi, yes, but it does not necessarily mean love. It could be admiration for the appearance, the personality, the successes, the position... Anything, really.]]]
>Toggle teammate mode to Goldie
[Assign temporary rank: Substitute Coach; rank will last for one game]
[And by Goldie we mean GOLDIE THE KILLER HAHAHAHA HEY CAN THIS HAVE A SCROLL ANIMATION OR SOMETHING or PUSSY PUT EM TO SLEEP HAHAHA WAIT NO PUT GOLDIE THOUGH]
>can PAALS be used kinda like cell phones
[Run search: Using your PAAD as a phone]

huh, If it wasn't for the fact that you told us that Goldie is in a gang I would have seriously thought this guy is one of the biggest posers in the world. But yeah can we run a scan on him or is something stopping us? Also does Goldie act like this to everyone or just to you?

Anyways Yeah we should probably get that favor out of the way ASAP just so we don't have that damn thing looming over us and maybe set up some other time we can meet up with Voshkie if you want.

>>596999
shoot him an apologetic look. we'll see about sending a message as well. overall, good conversation! 7.5/10, well done!
[net send 'VOSHKIE PLEASE' "sorry, we'll talk more later, good seeing you"]

>>597010
hahaha that shirt! what are you on, i like goldie already!

Goldie seems like pretty cool dude, maybe a bit overbearing but eh he seems like he's at least friendly with everyone.

SECURE CHAT CONNECTION WITH PAAL BELONGING TO USER:VOSHKIE PLEASE

*oh lord here we go
*It was nice talking to you guys while it lasted!
*oh, and about maroon having a crush - trust me, we know, lmao
*It would be a massive violation of our user's privacy settings to tell you whether or not HE knows, but we can tell you that WE know.
*it's cute
*idk i think voshkie is wwwwway out of maroon's league? that's just me
*don't be fucking rude
*what? it's true
*that's so subjective though
*ANYWAY it was nice meeting you guys, and we look forward to seeing you again! We'll see if we can scrape up some interesting info to share with you - if you were just set up, you're probably finding database searches a little slow and patchy.
*bye!!!
*see ya
*Later.
*goodbye

SECURE CHAT CONNECTION CLOSED! USER: VOSHKIE PLEASE ADDED TO CONTACTS

FRACTAL 2014/10/05(Sun)19:54 No. 597415 ID: 219868
File 141256405914.png - (137.50KB , 800x800 , 26.png )

Just Put Maroon:Haha, while I appreciate you guys trying to speak elvish - it's kinda cool - you can't really use "ih" in sentences where you're speaking common tongue! It doesn't really translate and sounds a little goofy. Just thought I'd let you know before you tried to use it while talking to another AI population or something.

Maroon manages to shoot Voshkie an apologetic glance, but before they can try to say anything else, Goldie has them in a headlock.

"My main bitch! Come on, stop ogling my brother and talk to meee!"

"S-Sorry, Goldie. I, uh, wasn't .... 'ogling' him." Maroon tries briefly to scoot away from Goldie, who is currently massaging their cheeks together, then flops back into limp resignation. "I'm doing okay, and the PAAL is cool so far - thanks again."

"OF COURSE it's cool! Would I have scored something uncool for you?" Goldie breaks back into loud laughter. "How's your AI pop?"

"Uh ... pushy. Seems like they're mostly drawn from human consciousnesses, but that's okay - they're fast learners. They've been pretty nice."

"Hmmmm. That makes sense, seeing as where we salvaged it from." Goldie shrugs. "I can get it reloaded with another pop if you want, one that's elvish for sure."

"No! Uh, I mean ... it's fine, really," Maroon says hurriedly. "I like them, I wanna keep them." They finally manage to extricate themselves and straighten out their clothes. "And speaking of the PAAL, that, uh, favor you wanted ...?"

FRACTAL 2014/10/05(Sun)19:54 No. 597416 ID: 219868
File 141256407477.png - (154.88KB , 800x800 , 27.png )

"Yeah! Good to see you don't forget a debt." Goldie's eyes crinkle into a smile. "So here's the deal - I have something really, really important I want you to do for me. WITH me."

"Y-Yeah?"
[Just Put Maroon]:This doesn't sound good ...

"So here's the deal: there is this huge, massive, VERY IMPORTANT -"

Just Put Maroon: oh no

"-PARTY tonight! Kinda celebrating the peace treaty between Pluto's Charge and St. Elmo's in the neighboring quarter, big meetup thing."

Maroon blinks. "....oh?"

"Yeah! And listen, so, it's like, a big deal, it's gonna be swanky and everything."

"Uh ... okay ...."

"And you know how me and Aubergine just split up, right? Fuckin' asshole, by the way, I don't think I told you the whole story of how nasty that business was - but ANYWAY, pretty much everyone important there is gonna have a DATE, right?"

Maroon is still blinking in owlish bewilderment every few seconds. Goldie is staring at them expectantly, so they mumble out another confused reply. "R....Right? I guess?"

[Just Put Maroon]:I wish they'd just get to the favor already ... I hope it's something like watching the shop with Voshkie while they go to the party, or something ...

He is asking you to be his date.

Well is about to ask anyway.

Quick activate teamwork ui and lets see what he looks like!

pffff hahahaha, he's asking you out on a date. oh god we got a love triangle going. I thought he was hitting on you but I didn't know him will enough to say for sure. But question, why is he asking you? no offense but you have said that Goldie was someone important here I'd thought he'd go with someone with more... social status then yourself. Then again he does like like the type of guy who just doesn't give a shit.

this might be a good opportunity! goldie will have to lend you some nice clothes, that could be good if you have to blend in in other neighborhoods.

FRACTAL 2014/10/05(Sun)20:24 No. 597423 ID: 219868
File 141256586001.png - (175.47KB , 800x800 , 28.png )

TARGETED USER SECURITY TOO HIGH FOR VISUAL UI READOUT! PLEASE UPGRADE YOUR PAAL OR TARGET A DIFFERENT USER!

"So?? What do ya say, Roon? You've probably never been to a party in your life, huh?"

>>597423
...what's the party like, I mean is there a certain way you have to dress, is there going to be food, what? I mean I guessing these guys don't know you're a half blood so if there is something that might risk outing you... well let's hear him out first and then decide whether or not we should go.

We need to figure out a way to hack into our dumb ai counterpart and disable those security flags.

Anyways if you have not passed out from shock and or embarrassment what do you think?

Should be fun.

FRACTAL 2014/10/05(Sun)21:00 No. 597428 ID: 219868
File 141256803610.png - (132.93KB , 800x800 , 29.png )

Just Put Maroon: Love triangle??? Hold up there! Goldie asking me to come to a party with them, even if it is called a "date," doesn't mean that ... Goldie is handsy and overfamiliar with everyone. I doubt they mean anything by it. I guess I'll keep that possibility in mind, though ... yikes.

"Uh, I ... really appreciate you inviting me, but could you tell me a little more about it?"

"It's just gonna be like a normal party but bigger, you know? I mean, OBVIOUSLY there's no way I'd ever let you embarrass yourself by showing up dressed the way you are now, but I'd bring you shopping just as soon as you say yes. I'll pay for everything, don't worry about it. And there'll be plenty of food and booze - and stronger stuff, too, if you're into that."

[Just Put Maroon]: Hey .... what's wrong with my clothes?!...
"Also, there's the kids ... you know, my younger siblings? I can't leave them alone for more than an hour or so, Goldie, especially at night ..."

Goldie waves their hand dismissively. "Voshkie can watch them!"

Maroon turns to Voshkie, eyebrows raised. "Voshkie, you're not going?"

Voshkie looks up from his book again and gives Goldie an acidic smile. "I was not invited."

>>597427
Agree on the condition that you get a bitchin hat...or not...I like hats...

>>597428
and I'm sensing something here that is making me feel uneasy. Ask Voshkie if he'd be ok with watching your siblings... and that your sure he won't find out that your siblings are half elves. He seems like a nice guy but you yourself said there isn't anyone you trust to watch them. But hey if you want to go to the party I won't stop you and if all you have to do to pay off your debt is to knock back a few beers with people you don't really know I'd say it would be worth it.

See if its ok with Voshkie if he watches the kids. Definitely take Goldie up on the offer. If you get some new fancy duds blending in in other areas should be much easier for any activities that require your skill set. And making contacts in a friendly gang might be a good idea if you're ever in a bad spot and stuck out in their territory in the future.

Think of it as a networking opportunity!

Say yes.

You owe Goldie a favor and this seems like a fun way to repay it. Am sure there will be complications but such is life.

Voshkie will understand you getting drug into this mess and we can figure out a way to hang out with him later. We have a library of human culture up here ready to discuss with him given the opportunity.

Make sure to ask if he will mind watching your siblings. He will say yes because of Goldie but its polite to ask.

You know more about Goldie and Voshkie than we do. Are they like this all the time?

Potential problem: this party is gonna be swanky? Gang bandanas might not be acceptable dress code. That's not good for you. Risk of exposure.

There's a similar risk with persimmon if you let Voshkie take care of them.

Then there's the social problem that you're letting someone else essentially ask you out right in front of Voshkie. And the fact we have no idea what Goldie wants, here. Is this a weird, manipulative way of saying they're interested? Are they just trying to get you in bed? Is this a sympathy thing? A messing with you thing? A status thing, on their part?

...maybe you should ask Goldie why they want to take you of all people.

Yeah that's another big question.

They know you are a half-elf right?

If not we have all sorts of problems to deal with.

>>597428
Hang on hang on there's a BIG PROBLEM here. If you show up for a party, are you gonna be able to keep your mouth covered? You won't be able to eat or drink anything! This is VERY LIKELY to blow your cover!

That said I have no idea how to get out of it.

Let us not insult THE POWERFUL AND CRAZY GANG LEADER????? Like, we cannot turn Goldie down I mean its GOLDIE. THE "HAHAHAHA GOLDIE THE KILLER" ONE.
So say yeah, before they change their minds and ask you to kill somebody or whatever.

Is it possible to like, arrange for false teeth or something that doesn't require a bandana? Because if not we have a kind of big problem here.

>>597482
False teeth seems like a good idea...But make sure to use something sturdy...maybe even some sort of glue, so you can actually eat with them in...

based on our web search earlier, it wouldn't be that far fetched for maroon to say she's embarrassed of her teeth being too blunt and ask goldie to pay for some "cosmetic dentistry" to be more attractive - but then goldie might get too curious and ask to SEE the teeth first, and i don't think we can sell human teeth as very very blunt elf teeth. it might be worth a try, though.

do you have any prior evidence of how goldie and voshkie feel about halfsies? i have to think voshkie wouldn't be prejudiced if he's so into human culture.

[hey guys i can't update rn but just to inform your suggestions, because i should have mentioned this detail in the last update and forgot and i don't think it's worth an update on its own: voshkie and goldie do NOT know that maroon is a half-elf. sorry to post ooc!]

If Voshkie doesn't know about ya'll being half-human, then care of the children really depends on them - are they comfortable with Voshkie? Can they handle it even home, where they should be able to be comfortable and not forced to hide, esp Percy cause doesn't pass with her teeth

And don't go glueing or putting in fake teeth into your mouth, that'll be so obvious.

The party could be a chance to eat something that is not beans though just saying.

>Seems like they're mostly drawn from human consciousnesses
Hey, wait. How did I miss that before. AI pops are people? ...neato! We're cyber zombie ghosts or something.

>fake teeth for party?
If Maroon could afford convincing fake teeth, they'd have a lot less problems. I don't think that's very viable.

How do you normally deal with food, anyways, Maroon? Is it cool to eat lunch through a bandana?

At a 'swanky' party we might have alternatives if the bandana doesn't fit. A scarf or something?

How good is Persimmon? Do you trust her to stay covered up around Voshkie? The babysitter wouldn't do anything like make her take it off to sleep, or eat, or brush her teeth?

The party could also be a test - in the article about "HOW TO SPOT A HALFSIE FRIEND" it mentions inviting them to eat. Party has food. Goldie could be testing. Tho we can't get out of it because pissing them off is worse.
Ask them why they want YOU of all people - surely someone as suave as Goldie could have anyone?

>Just thought I'd let you know before you tried to use it while talking to another AI population or something.
Gods damn, you're too late man.
>Hey .... what's wrong with my clothes?!...
Your clothes are great, it's just the party you're going to? Fancy, high-class. Not exactly a formal party, according to Goldie, but still going to be fancy.
>Voshkie looks up from his book again and gives Goldie an acidic smile. "I was not invited."
Ick, sibling rivalry.
Well, be casual about it, agree to go as a stand-in. Don't emphasize anything about it, but what Goldie's asking for is basically a stand-in until they get a proper date.

Man, using "They" is so difficult, "Ih" makes a lot more sense now that we've been given a term for it.
>The party could also be a test - in the article about "HOW TO SPOT A HALFSIE FRIEND" it mentions inviting them to eat. Party has food. Goldie could be testing.
...We're going to have to get cosmetic surgery, now, without showing Goldie Maroon's teeth.

Well if they do not know about your ancestry I guess the next question is how racist are your friends?

Just asking because unless we can figure out some magic solution they are going to find out eventually.

Wait a magic solution could be a option. Lets check the Paal systems for possible cosmetic changes we can make to our user. If we can make Maroon stronger and faster we might have a option to modify some teeth.

You have gotten this far without being discovered but this party could be really dangerous.

subtly drop the discussion of halfsies into conversation in an attempt to see if hes like cool with that

FRACTAL 2014/10/06(Mon)16:25 No. 597528 ID: 219868
File 141263792478.png - (158.38KB , 800x800 , 30.png )

>You know more about Goldie and Voshkie than we do. Are they like this all the time?
[Just Put Maroon]: Just about. Some days are better than others, but they always kind of snap at each other. I figured it was normal for ... well, people who have their shit together. Me and Percy and Rusty can't AFFORD to bicker, you know? We always have to be looking out for each other ... but when you're rich and stuff it's just normal for siblings to fight, right? Especially since they're so close in age.

"Uh ... Voshkie, if I go, would you be okay with watching them? Sorry ..."
[Just Put Maroon]: I guess if I was gonna trust anyone with them, it would be Voshkie. I just never thought about it because I never thought I'd ever really talk to him, let alone ask a favor, you know? Percy will be okay - I've been drilling the importance of staying hidden into her literally since she was a baby. For once, I think taking care of the kids isn't actually the biggest problem ...

"I would be happy to, Maroon." Voshkie smiles politely.

"Ah, thanks ... I'd just have to talk to them and let them know, you know. And I have to talk to them before saying yes, because if I go I have to make sure they know where I am and that they're okay with it, and stuff ..."

"Ggggggod why do you keep pulling this IF stuff?" Goldie groans, dragging their hands down their face. "It's just a party, it's not like they're gonna DIE if you leave them alone for a night."

Maroon sighs slightly and turns back to face Goldie. "Listen, it's not that I don't appreciate the invitation but ... can I ask why you want me to come so badly? Actually, why you even want ME to come in the first place?"

Goldie's expression flickers slightly. "Promise you won't get offended?"

"Yeah, yeah."

"Okay, well, first of all, we've been friends for like, what, three years?!"

"Two and a half," Voshkie corrects cooly.

"Yeah, whatever. But like, we never hang out socially! Well, barely ever. So I figured this would be a good opportunity to finally like, chill and stuff, you know?"

Maroon raises their eyebrows. "Uh, okay. I don't see why that would offend me ..."

"WWWWWELL that's not all. Also -" Goldie swings their folded hands up in front of their face. "To be 100% honest, everyone else either already has a date or is a total scrub. You're the only person left who isn't already going with someone and is still pretty cute and not embarassing. See, you're my last chance!"

"Oh. I see."
[Just Put Maroon]: Man........ I should've known it was something like that .... I guess it's better than them having a crush on me, but it's still kinda insulting ...

[Just Put Maroon]: The teeth thing is still a problem ... I guess I could decline to eat or drink when I'm there, and people probably will be too busy eating and drinking themselves to think too much of it ... but I don't know how to ask about whether it'll be okay to keep my face covered without being too obvious. Usually at gang gatherings it would be no big deal, but with this being "swanky" on top of being a peacemaking thing, it might be different ...

[Just Put Maroon]; I think you're right that if anyone would be okay with it, it would be Voshkie. But I can't predict what would happen with Goldie. And I feel like it would be strange to randomly bring up halfsies right now - I don't want to risk it.

you should totally go! and ask about face coverings while shopping. say you have a weird scar if you have to

if you're still going to be wearing a bandana couldn't you just move food under your bandana without taking it off or showing your teeth? just stick to finger food. And if anyone ask why you're not taking your bandana off you can just say something like you're afraid you'd loss it if you took it off or that you wear it so much you feel naked without it.

LOOK AT THAT FACE
SAY YES SAY YES

Being a last chance date opportunity is not the worst thing in the world. I bet you would look pretty stunning if we got you dressed up right.

As for the disguise part you know more about these sort of parties than we do. And you have far more experience disguising yourself. So can give you suggestions but they might be stupid.

So a question for you about elf teeth. Do they just have huge canines or are they all pure carnivore teeth? And what sort of foods do they serve at elf only parties? Can they handle mixed foods at all or not?

Finally ask our dumb Ai counterpart if there is anything in its abilities for disguises. I guess if we have to use sports related terms maybe something about avoiding the paparazzi? Or um mouth guards?

Oooh. While you haven't assigned yourself a gender, among humans, there are cultures where the women wear veils, especially in "swanky" parties.

Get yourself some dark clothing along with a veil, keep calm, and try to keep your own speech short unless somebody asks you to talk about something at length. Anybody asks what you're doing, you heard about the ettiquit used by some humans and were fascinated, and thought it would be a good idea. Even if they disagree, you're sticking to your guns.

>>597540
Hmmm... a veil might work. Maroon could even eat under it.

I guess go for it.

A scarf or veil or something is your best bet.

Have you thought about making your own fake fangs? You can make easy ones for tonight by filing some fake nails into shape, painting them with polish, and gluing them onto your teeth with denture glue. Should hold for tonight, as long as you don't eat anything! This could be a great time to try stealing something small to start you out! We can look at making more permanent prosthetic fangs later

This is a bad idea. I have this feeling you'll end up getting exposed as a halfsie.

what was thepurpose of magical eye computer again? sure havent been using it for anything useful like getting money to help siblings

does goldie or his brother know your a halfe elf? cause if they don't this situation is pretty much guaranteed to go catastrophically wrong.

>sure havent been using it for anything useful like getting money to help siblings
You mean, like sneaking into a "Swanky" party and nabbing a few "Lesser" luxuries to pawn off?
>>597590
Read >>597486 they do NOT know.

You should go, but this is a gang party so one should careful. You got a friend so that's good and hey they might REALLY need your help, more than they even realize.

>>597594

So not only does he/she have to be on guard to not reveal she/he's a half breed, and to socialize WITH goldie who will no doubt be showing off Maroon, Maroon has to snatch things she/he doesn't know is there and what it is to sell to a pawn shop of the person he/she went to that party of. Also leaving his siblings (one being a very tiny child)in the hands of a person he doesn't know is ok with half breeds and expecting nothing to go wrong with the kids or their sitter or anyone else that happens by.

The amount of terrible things that can happen here is tremendous. Things are too flimsy here. There needs to be something concrete....money...safety...protection....

Maroon spent his/her entire life hiding his/her halfness and spent his/her sibling's protecting them. It's no time to be careless because Goldie wants something.

Or it could be a trap...

just to make people paranoid

are y'all really that bad at using gender neutral pronouns smh
anywho i really dont see how much could go wrong besides the obvious of V and Goldie finding out we're half-n-half! as long as you can wear a scarf (or match with Goldie w their doctor's mask omg :D) we can avoid eating until we're outta sight
also perhaps seek a connection w/ Goldie's AI pop to see if we can scoop out more info.

May as well go for it. Better that the 'favor' be a pity date than something a lot less legal.

>>597610
When they don't care, why should we?

>>597710
Not Pity Date, optimal Stand-in. Goldie said that out of everybody they could get as a Stand-in, Maroon is the only one who would be a good choice, not that he was the best. Being the only one that's a good choice does mean Maroon is the best, yes, but it's directly saying that Maroon is somebody worth consideration as a proper romantic partner.

>>597542
All sorts of excuses are possible when you let your clearly Human-biased AI make the outfit decisions.

This IS pretty much the "how to find out if your friend is a halfsie" checklist though.

...Well at least you're not a scrub. Ask when you have to go and what to wear. If the answer is now or today, Goldie is shit outta luck.

FRACTAL 2014/10/09(Thu)11:08 No. 597768 ID: 2c322d
File 141287808022.png - (120.75KB , 700x600 , 31.png )

[Just Put Maroon]: I think I have to go. There are a lot of risks, but as far as favors go, this is probably the easiest one I'll get. I'm not sure what would come up next on the roulette wheel if I turn this down, and I don't want to make Goldie mad in any case.

"Alright, I'll go."

"YESSSS! YES YES YES! You're a lifesafer, Roon!" Goldie gives them an exuberant hug. "Alright, go tell your siblings about the plans and then meet me back here so we can go shopping, okay? By the time you get back I'll be changed so you can get an idea of the kinda look we'll be going for. We gotta look good as a pair, alright?"

"Okay, okay." Maroon looks back over their shoulder before leaving. "Uh, Voshkie, maybe you should come with me? It would be kinda silly for me to go home, then come back, then lead you back to my place again ..."

"Huh? Wait, why does HE get to go see your place? You've never even invited me in!" Goldie pouts. "I know it's a dump and you're embarrassed of it and everything, but come on! I wanna come too!"

[Just Put Maroon]: Oh no ... I kinda wanted to use the walk over as a way to talk to Voshkie some more ...

"If it's silly for you to go back and forth to bring Voshkie to your place, it's silly to go back and forth to meet me here too! Come on, I could just drive you over there and then we can leave straight from your place."

Tell him "Nah dude, you JUST said you gotta get changed while I'm gone. I wanna see that. I'll see you in a bit."

>>597768

Gotta ask some questions about going out with goldie to someone who isn't goldie is a good excuse.

>>597769
Something like this. Idk, maybe say 'if you wanna see my place tho the doors are always open?" let's throw a bone here or somethin, or else Goldie'll feel excluded :(

>>597771
Goldie can handle feeling excluded, and that sounds like a come on. Let's not do that.

>>597771
Yeah, let's invite him to come barging in as we're changing face masks. Great idea!

>>597769
>>597770
These are good.

Distract Goldie with the idea to change while you're gone or if she persists you can ask for her to change and meet you there, at your place to pick you up. Not to be harsh but I'm not sure how the kiddos and her would get along so don't let her into your place.

>>597769
yep, they said they have to get changed, so they can't come with us. too bad.

ffs, is it really THAT hard to use neutral pronouns when talking about Goldie?

>>597813

the hell does it really matter anyways?

attempt telepathic conversation with your eyes with goldie and tell them you are trying to hit that (voshkie) and they are being a total third wheel rn. im kidding dont do that. just tell goldie to take their time getting dressed. if they really insist, they can maybe come over another day if they chill out. your place really isnt that big a deal.

>>597813
Surprisingly, it's very difficult to use gender neutral pronouns. Hopefully, with time, we'll adapt some new words for use.

FRACTAL 2014/10/14(Tue)11:16 No. 598317 ID: 2c322d
File 141331056083.png - (108.78KB , 700x600 , 32.png )

"Nah, didn't you just say you have to get changed?" Maroon points out. "I can have you over some other time, okay? But you should go ahead and get ready."

"Mmmmmmmm ... okay, you're right!" Goldie grins and turns to disappear to the back room again. "See ya in a bit!"

[Just Put Maroon]: Crisis averted ...

FRACTAL 2014/10/14(Tue)11:16 No. 598318 ID: 2c322d
File 141331058037.png - (107.00KB , 700x600 , 33.png )

With that taken care of, Voshkie and Maroon step outside the curio, and Voshkie motions vaguely towards the rickety shed that serves as the siblings' garage. "It's not too long of a walk, right? But we could take my cycle if you wanted."

Just Put Maroon: Ohhh no. Oh no. If we take the bike I get to put my arms around his waist, but if we walk I get to talk to him .... shit, I'm not even sure I can do either of those things without making an ass of myself ..... ohhhh no...

prepare for ass...making out of yourself

People with bikes love to show them off. Plus you will have less of a chance to put your foot in your mouth. Also waist hugging.

>>598318
Well, since it's not too far, you could take the bike along a scenic route, right? That'll let you ride with him and talk to him.

Whatever he chooses is fine I'm sure, just keep in mind how much time you have!

If Maroon feels ready to make conversation with Voshkie without being so very obvious about their crush, i say walk and talk. otherwise take the ride and hug yer boy. plus the kids might get a kick out of the motorcycle.

eh just think of it as a chance to talk to him and don't worry so much. Once you start talking you'll find it much easier to just talk to him without messing up, just like you were doing before goldie showed up.

vroom vroom it is bike time, hop on it!

FRACTAL 2014/12/04(Thu)22:13 No. 608988 ID: 6b7ea4
File 141776003250.png - (223.83KB , 700x600 , 34.png )

"Uh, the bike would be good ..."

Voshkie smiles and nods, and it doesn't take him long to wheel the bike out of the shed. "It was a birthday gift from Goldie," he explains, unable to hide a smile. "It's actually, ah .... one of his LESS flashy and impractical gifts, over the years."

[Just Put Maroon]: Okay ... even though Goldie's taste is kind of ridiculous, I'll admit this thing is pretty cool ...

"It's really nice," Maroon offers. "It looks like you take good care of it."

"I try to. I don't get to ride it recreationally very often - I'm usually kept busy with bookkeeping and things like that." Voshkie hands them an extra helmet before strapping his own on and swinging one leg over the back.

i cant believe i fucking managed that motorcycle okay i'm sorry i just have to call attention to it for a second. look at that motorcycle i drew while crying

FRACTAL 2014/12/04(Thu)22:14 No. 608990 ID: 6b7ea4
File 141776005039.png - (86.32KB , 700x600 , 35.png )

"With the way these models are built you have to sit rather high on the back, so make sure you have a good hold on me, alright?" Voshkie looks back over his shoulder, and though his mouth is covered by the helmet, Maroon can tell he's grinning. "I like to take the turns fast."

FRACTAL 2014/12/04(Thu)22:14 No. 608992 ID: 6b7ea4
File 141776006510.png - (80.96KB , 700x600 , 36.png )

It's too loud to talk much during the ride, and Maroon spends a lot of the time fearing for their life as Voshkie weaves in and out between pedestrians and other vehicles - in this part of the city, all the narrow roads are densely packed with both, and the concept of "right of way" - or any kind of traffic laws in the first place - is something most travellers consider irrelevant. They do note, however, that Voshkie takes an opportunity at the corner of one of the blocks to take a detour, slicing a hard left to navigate away from the tighter streets and onto the long straightaways of the industrial district.

Here the roar of the engine becomes a hum and the thronging noises of the city fall away, giving enough leeway for Voshkie to yell back at them. "When I get time to myself I like to come out here. I guess I wouldn't call it 'quiet,' but it's a more relaxing kind of noise."

huh looks like we just stumbled onto Voshkie wild side. Never would have taken him to be a motor junkie. Not sure if he's taking the scenic route because he doesn't get to drive his bike as often as he likes or if he's just trying to spend more time with you but hey now that he isn't take turns at high speeds I bet you're enjoying this more.

As for what to do... think all you can really do at this time is enjoy the ride.

Agree with your buddy here, enjoy this moment. Also realize this pretty cool, they must trust you a lot to show you there "special place".

Maybe I'm being presumptuous, but this seems really . . . intimate? I'd say that all things considered, the Voshkie front looks optimistic.

How're ya feelin', kid? Hopefully less nervous, since he's being so familiar with you!

>>608988

It looks like a great moped good job

>I don't get to ride it recreationally very often
So you gave him an excuse to do something he likes but doesn't do enough. That's good, right?

>hold on tight *grin*
Okay, I know we're not completely up to date on elf behavior, but with humans, we'd call that 'flirting'.

>but with humans, we'd call that 'flirting'.
And with Vokshi, they've been studying up on humans.

FRACTAL 2014/12/05(Fri)19:25 No. 609254 ID: ecb09c
File 141783635852.png - (112.82KB , 700x600 , 37.png )

[Just Put Maroon]: I'm kind of wondering ... if this counts as romantic??

[Just Put Maroon]: Oh, I don't know. I mean, he could have just been smiling because he was happy to get a chance to go on a ride, and that could explain him taking the long way around, too. I don't want to get my hopes up.

[Just Put Maroon]: But ... even if this isn't him flirting or anything like that, I don't really care. Even just this is more than I ever thought I would get with him.

The rest of the ride passes quietly.

FRACTAL 2014/12/05(Fri)19:26 No. 609255 ID: ecb09c
File 141783637257.png - (107.23KB , 700x600 , 38.png )

The last few blocks of the ride Maroon has to direct Voshkie to their home, but they manage it without any wrong turns and are there before long. Maroon's legs feel odd when they stand up, and they take a minute to shake them out as Voshkie surveys the exterior of the building.

"This is where you live?" There's no incredulity or judgement in his voice, but Maroon finds himself embarassed all the same.

"Uh ... yeah ..."

[Just Put Maroon]: Ugh ... I was so excited about getting to spend time with Voshkie that I forgot he'd actually be seeing my place! Not just seeing it, spending a few hours in it! It's not like I'm ashamed but ... jeez ...

[Just Put Maroon]: At least I'm pretty sure he'll be good with the kids ... maybe I should go ahead of him and tell the kids about him coming first, so they're prepared? Or would that look weird ...

It depends. Have you taught your siblings to hide if someone strange comes by? Do not want to startle them. If not should be ok to just go in and introduce Voshkie.

>maybe I should go ahead of him and tell the kids about him coming first, so they're prepared? Or would that look weird ...
Actually, it's perfectly reasonable for a person to let their kids know that you're bringing in a friend to watch them. Just ask Vokshi to give you a moment to tell them about him.

>I should go ahead of him and tell the kids about him coming first, so they're prepared? Or would that look weird ...
No that would be fine, it just means your playing to big brother and making sure you're looking out for your younger siblings.

I'd just knock, or announce "hey kids, got someone for you to meet!" or something along those lines. If you've trained them well, they should know to cover up the non-elf teeth before you get the door open.

Be sure to thank him for the lift, and for offering to look after them. They're all you got, you know?

FRACTAL 2014/12/18(Thu)18:04 No. 613021 ID: 6b7ea4
File 141895468264.png - (123.02KB , 700x600 , 39.png )

[Just Put Maroon]: Well... I guess as long as I knock and tell them someone's coming in before I open the door they'll be fine...

Maroon motions for Voshkie to follow them, and fishes out a keyring to let the two of them into the apartment building. After a sheepish apology for the lack of an elevator, Maroon leads him up several flights of stairs to the flat.

"Guys? There's a visitor!" they call as they insert the key into the lock. "Be on your best behavior!"

[Just Put Maroon]: I hope Persimmon gets what I mean by that ...

When Maroon opens the door they almost whack both kids with it, because the two of them are clustered eagerly by the door. "Whoa! Hang on a second -"

Rusty has already pushed their way past to sniff Voshkie's and, and though Maroon notes with relief that Persimmon is wearing her scarf, it does nothing to muffle her loud barrage of questions.

"Who are you? How come you're here? Did you know that you're the first visitor ever? Did you bring something to eat? Are you a boy or a girl or are you normal? Are you a new sibling? Are you gonna live here now? Is it because you and Maroon are gonna get marr -"

"OKAY! Wow! Okay! Whoa! That, uh, that's - okay, Persimmon, we're just gonna - okay." Maroon hurriedly scoops Persimmon up and deposits her back over the threshold, giving Voshkie room to step inside. "Sorry about that, she's -"

FRACTAL 2014/12/18(Thu)18:04 No. 613022 ID: 6b7ea4
File 141895469645.png - (108.55KB , 700x600 , 40.png )

"Lovely." Maroon notices that Voshkie has already picked Rusty up, and is patiently enduring their quizzical yanking of his ears. “And a girl, if I just heard you correctly.”

“Yeah, I am!” Persimmon yells from Maroon’s arms. “But Rusty’s not and Maroon’s not! They’re just normal. What about you?”

“I decided to be a man a little while ago.” Rusty has moved on to chewing languidly on Voshkie’s left ear, but his expression hasn’t changed.

“Is man the same thing as boy and guy?”

“Yes, it just means an adult one.”

“Cool!” Persimmon has wiggled out of Maroon’s grasp by now, and hurries back over to Voshkie’s side to further satisfy her curiosity. “How come you decided to be a guy, then?”

“Because I like how it sounds and I like the connotation of it.” He pauses for a moment, then adds, “Connotation is a word that means what it makes other people think of when they hear it.”

Maroon watches, dumbfounded, as the three of them migrate to sitting positions on the floor, Voshkie and Persimmon embroiled in some excited conversation about weird human boy-girl stuff while Rusty settles contentedly into Voshkie’s lap.

huh, you know thinking about it, if he has to spend all day with goldy I honestly don't think you little siblings are going to be to much to handle for him. Still just make sure to ask him if he's going to be fine, and if he ask about Persimmon's Scarf just say she has allergies to something. We don't really know what but the scarf seems to help quite a bit and we really can't afford the medicine to relive the symptoms so just make sure she keeps her scarf on. ONLY say this if he ask about it though. It's better not to bring attention to it if at all possible.

Hooray for unanticipated bonding!
Time to tell the kids what is going on then get ready for Goldie.

...Does he ever stop making bedroom eyes when he looks at you? Is this an elf thing?

But yeah, he's dealt with Goldie, I'm pretty sure a few kids aren't exactly going to be much of a challenge after something like that, and your family is pretty well behaved as well.

FRACTAL 2014/12/18(Thu)20:13 No. 613071 ID: 6b7ea4
File 141896238068.png - (94.42KB , 700x600 , 41.png )

>...Does he ever stop making bedroom eyes when he looks at you? Is this an elf thing?

[Just Put Maroon]: He's not MAKING bedroom eyes, he just HAS bedroom eyes! No, that's not what I meant to s- I mean he has NARROW eyes! And Goldie does too. I think it just runs in their family. It's not important!

FRACTAL 2014/12/18(Thu)20:13 No. 613072 ID: 6b7ea4
File 141896239425.png - (108.34KB , 700x600 , 42.png )

[Just Put Maroon]: But anyway, I guess you guys are right. I don't think I have anything to worry about. Persimmon is smart and knows how to be careful, Rusty will fall asleep soon anyway, and they're both good kids to begin with. Plus, it looks like Voshkie is really good with kids. I guess this is gonna work out perfectly!

"So, uh - Voshkie is gonna be looking after you guys tonight," Maroon cuts in, awkwardly interrupting the conversation. "Because I'm gonna be out with Goldie."

"Goldie is the one who got you the eye thing, right?"

"Yeah, and Voshkie is their brother."

"Okay." Persimmon, usually bursting with questions and opinions, seems uncharacteristically disinterested in this development, but only because she's far more interested in resuming her conversation with Voshkie. "You're still gonna bring back something good to eat, right?"

"Yeah, I can get something for you guys."

"No bean," mumbles Rusty drowsily.

"No beans," Maroon promises.

A moment later, pounding music starts to filter in from the street below, presumably from a car pulling up alongside the complex. Maroon briefly considers that it might be Goldie, and this is confirmed when the music is drowned out by a series of impatient honks and barely audible yells.

Voshkie looks up, and Maroon thinks there might have been the faintest trace of an eyeroll in the glance Voshkie casts towardws the window. "You'd better go. My sibling doesn't like to be kept waiting."

"Ha ... yeah ..."

[Just Put Maroon]: I guess I really do have to get down there... what do you guys think, anything else I should wrap up here before I go back down?

Kiss them before you run out, just do it

nay, you probably got everything covered. I think the best thing you can do now is just go down there and get this over with as quickly and as painlessly as possible. If you can even get one of those two things I just said to happen I'll be amazed.

Hug for the kids, goodbye for Voshkie, and away we go before he alerts everyone within a 5 mile radius.

We can't kiss the kids in front of Voshkie! We'd have to lift our bandanna. Hugs are good, though.

That brings up something interesting, though - Maroon, if you're serious about romantically pursuing Voshkie, he's going to have to find out sooner or later. How would you kiss him and stuff if he can't know about your teeth?

>>613075
>>613082
Hugs 'n kisses might be a bit much, just give them a pat on the head and tell them to be nice to Vokshie.

Tell the kids to be good, and thank Voshkie again again for looking after them before going down to see Goldie.

Kiss Voshkie on the forehead! He won't be able to see your teeth that way.

Hug kids, thank your friend for watching said kids, then prepare yourself for LOTS of people.

FRACTAL 2014/12/23(Tue)07:04 No. 614350 ID: 6b7ea4
File 141934706113.png - (123.46KB , 700x600 , 43.png )

Maroon gives both the kids a tight hug before turning back to Voshkie. "Thanks again for watching them, especially on such short notice. I really appreciate it."

"It's no trouble at all. I'm happy to finally meet them." Voshkie trails off, then adds, "Have fun tonight."

"Um ... I'll try," Maroon replies uncertainly. Voshkie laughs and waves them off, barely audible now over the increasingly aggressive honking outside.

"You'd better go."

---

"FFFFFINALLY! God!" As Maroon steps out the front door of the complex, Goldie - who had been leaning forward to leverage their full body weight against the car horn - flops back against their seat. "I've been waiting out here for like a million years. Why didn't you tell me you lived in a dump like this? You know I could've set you up with an apartment or something, right?"

"Just 'cause I'm poor doesn't mean I'm a charity case," Maroon mumbles.

"It wouldn't be CHARITY, it would be a way to FINALLY get you to join the Charge. But whatever. Get in, loser, we're going shopping."

TWO NEW DEVICES LOCATED:

SOMATIX GENERATION 4 PAAS, SPECIALIZED IN ATHLETICS. USER: DUDE CAN THIS WAIT I'M LIKE LITERALLY SETTING UP MY NEW KICKS LIKE RIGHT NOW
UNAUTHORIZED DEVICE CONTAINING HYPERFLEX 4 HARDWARE. SPECIALIZATION: ERROR! NO SPECIALIZATION REGISTERED! USER: ERROR! NO USER REGISTERED!

PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT PRIVATE RECONFIGURATION OF PAAD HARDWARE AND/OR SOFTWARE IS ILLEGAL AND VOIDS ALL WARRANTIES!

Well he certainly looks all dressed up already, not bad for..whatever type of fancy party he's looking for.

Though what is this charge he's speaking of, his gang/group?

Hmmm..Hyperflex hardwire, can we connect to any of the PAAD's in arnge.

Well, c'mon Maroon. Get in!

>Atheltic PAAS
Hello there, Goldie AIs. Man, he's sure got a lot of you.

>unauthorized hyperflex hardwire
And hello to you, whoever you are, you mysterious defier of copywrite law. Don't worry, we won't tell.

THERE ARE CURRENTLY FOUR OTHER PAAD IN RANGE:

HYPERFLEX GENERATION 4 PAAL, DOUBLE SPECIALIZED IN ATHLETICS AND MILITARY SCIENCES. USER: GOLDIE THE KILLER HAHAHAHA HEY CAN THIS HAVE A SCROLL ANIMATION OR SOMETHING
GENERATION 6 PAAG, SPECIALIZED IN TRANSPORTATION AND VEHICULAR TRADES, USER: PUSSY PUT EM TO SLEEP HAHAHA WAIT NO PUT GOLDIE THOUGH
SOMATIX GENERATION 4 PAAS, SPECIALIZED IN ATHLETICS. USER: DUDE CAN THIS WAIT I'M LIKE LITERALLY SETTING UP MY NEW KICKS LIKE RIGHT NOW
UNAUTHORIZED DEVICE CONTAINING HYPERFLEX 4 HARDWARE. SPECIALIZATION: ERROR! NO SPECIALIZATION REGISTERED! USER: ERROR! NO USER REGISTERED!

THREE DEVICES ARE CONTROLLED BY ONE AI POPULATION. ONE DEVICE IS UNREGISTERED.

SENDING COMMUNICATION REQUEST TO AI POPULATION.......

WAITING.....
WAITING.....
WAITING.....

COMMUNICATION ACCEPTED!

CONNECTING.....
CONNECTING.....
CONNECTING.....

CONNECTED TO AI POPULATION BELONGING TO USER GOLDIE THE KILLER HAHAHAHA HEY CAN THIS HAVE A SCROLL ANIMATION OR SOMETHING/PUSSY PUT EM TO SLEEP HAHAHA WAIT NO PUT GOLDIE THOUGH/DUDE CAN THIS WAIT I'M LIKE LITERALLY SETTING UP MY NEW KICKS LIKE RIGHT NOW

*oh
*hi
*lmao. gen 2
*lmao
*lmao
*lmao
*lmfao
*whaaaaaat
*hey guys when is bridal nightmares south marina pointe on? i wanna record it
*we've told you like five million times that you can only record stuff when we're at home, we don't have the range
*well then tell goldie to upgrade us
*if they upgrade us they're not gonna pick stupid shit like that they don't even watch tv
*hey is that other ai pop talking to us
*i think they're trying to
*who approved the connection
*not me
*not me
*not me
*wasn't me
*not me
*oh, i did
*not m- why did you do that
*idk
*whatever i'm bored
*hey, gen 2's, what do you want
*no shut up just ignore them maybe they'll disconnect by themselves

>>614379
Just wanted the have a conversation, you know? What does a gen 2 got to get to get one of those these days? Go to a gen 2 bar?

>>614379
that show sucks and your tastes are awful.
That established, HEY WHAT'S GOIN ON IN HERE

>what u want
Just saying hi, since Godlie's dragging JPM around.

I mean, c'mon, it was messing with you or sitting on our figurative asses calculating prime numbers or whatever.

>hey guys when is bridal nightmares south marina pointe on? i wanna record it
So what I'm hearing is you're in the market for terrible television. Hmm. I wonder if we have anything unformatted leftover... [start searching local memory for stored video media]

>>614379
So is Goldie all show or do they get loads of action?

>>614387

I don't think we'd have the newer vids, I mean the older vids was pretty good but the newer ones are kinda just trashy, old one has a bit more class.

FRACTAL 2014/12/23(Tue)09:33 No. 614405 ID: 6b7ea4
File 141935602984.png - (132.56KB , 700x600 , 44.png )

Maroon hops into the car, and Goldie floors it before they can even get their seatbelt on.

"Whoa! Can you relax a little?"

"Um, no? We need all the time we can get to get you party-ready!" Goldie sighs, their crystal-encrusted facemask glittering as they toss their head in irritation. "It's not like the raw material is AWFUL, but we still have a long way to go."

"Wow, thanks."

[Just Put Maroon] You guys alright up there? You're awfully quiet ...

> [start searching local memory for stored video media]
NO VIDEO MEDIA STORED! CURRENT DATA STORAGE IS EMPTY ASIDE FROM PERSONALIZED MODES, TARGET ASSIGNMENTS, AND OS.

*wow what the fuck is wrong with you?? bridal nightmares south marina pointe is a gripping satirical critique of our soulless consumerist society
*uh, 34556, when you watch that show you spend the whole time talking about how the people in it are "spoiled bitches" and whining about how if you had a body you'd look a lot better than them in the dresses
*yeah that's the CRITIQUE part
*you're not a tv critic you're a commodified cyberghost
*ugh shut up SHUT UP
*YOU shut up
*i've literally had it up to here with you okay you are BOTH so annoying
*OH, LITERALLY, LITERALLY, YOU'VE LITERALLY HAD IT UP TO HERE, AS OPPOSED TO FIGURATIVELY
*fucking christ
*okay listen, gen 2's, it's not really about you, it's about your user
*and about the kind of users that usually have gen 2's
*scrubs
*scrubs
*usually scrubs
*scrubs
*toooootal scrubs
*goldie likes that user okay though
*yeah but goldie doesn't always know what's best
*that's what we're for
*what kind of personal assistant would we be if we let goldie hang out with like, total riff-raff
*to be honest our focus rn is either getting aubergine back or scoring goldie some other hookups
*yeah they rrrrreally need to get over this whole aubergine thing
*the situation is getting kind of desperate
*like, goldie-asking-out-your-user desperate
*we really can't let them keep tailspinning like this

Don't worry maroon, just having a friendly conversation. If you have anything to ask or talk about, just shoot.

>>614407
Jeez guys chill out, it's not a real date.

Well, to be totes fair, you don't have to worry about Goldie hanging on to Maroon much. It's clear to us and Maroon Goldie is just using him. Unless you're telling us Goldie's actually NOT, then there might be a problem.

By the way, we're a human PAAD so we're probably going to refer to normal elves as genders by accident, a lot. So don't take us calling Maroon a him or her as anything, it's just easier for us. Calling Maroon an it feels weird, if technically correct.
Is it immoral to call Maroon a him or her when they don't identify as anything? I know for humans, getting the wrong pronoun can be huge issue. I imagine for the elves who have adopted a pronoun it can be an issue, but not for the one's who are usually referred to it or they.

I'm asking instead of running a search... just because. We could ask Maroon how he feels about it but eeeeeeehhhhhh. AI's are more fun.

>>614407
>NO VIDEO MEDIA STORED! CURRENT DATA STORAGE IS EMPTY ASIDE FROM PERSONALIZED MODES, TARGET ASSIGNMENTS, AND OS.

But, we have human personality and knowledge. How is that possible without us having data? Unless AI data and memory is separate then...
[Create output of internal visual and audio compilation from our AI databanks about the show My Super Sweet 16. If unable, detect why we know about the show My Super Sweet 16 and how we can mentally visualize My Super Sweet 16]

To be fair, he kind of is, but goldie seems like the type of a person to try and mold someone up to make them 'cool', I mean he good at that or no, well I mean without you he'd probably be a bit poorer at it.

>>614407
>scrub
well fuck you too then. also, goldie set maroon up with us anyhow.
hmmm, say more about this aubergine business, it sounds INTERESTING.

>>614405
>You guys alright up there? You're awfully quiet ...
Yeah, we're fine. We were just hassling Goldie's AI pop. Or being hassled by them. Final score isn't clear, yet.

>>614407
>scrubs scrubs scrubs
Deku deku, bitches.

>tbh we're trying to get Goldie back together with their ex
That's cool. I think Maroon is more here out of curiosity and owing Goldie than anything else. I doubt they'll be heartbroken if you manage to pull Goldie out of his so called tailspin.

>You guys alright up there? You're awfully quiet ...
Why, do you want a distraction from Goldie? We're talking with their shoes or something. Dude's got every device made, I think.
>gen2
Oh, yes, generation two. "Man I'm totally jealous we gotta like pretend they aren't here soaking up the spotlight and pray they just close the connection. I mean, being able to improve themselves without having to have the user pay for it? Totally awesome. Wish I could do that."
Seriously though, that one advantage outweighs all disadvantages of later generations, I've gotta say. Especially for a freelance grunt like Maroon. Do they LOOK like they can afford to pay for upgrades?
>*and about the kind of users that usually have gen 2's
>*scrubs
Yeah, and yet Goldie looks at this Scrub and says "If I scrub this Scrub up they'll be trophy material." What is UP with that? Was Goldie really just that damn desperate?
>*like, goldie-asking-out-your-user desperate
Yep, okay, desperate.
>*yeah they rrrrreally need to get over this whole aubergine thing
What happened with Aubergine?
Oh, and while Maroon is totally a scrub, if Goldie does go about cleaning them up and making them into trophy material... Well, your job is to make Goldie look good for doing so. Don't let them fail, not for our sake, but for yours!
Man, Goldie started out complimenting you to all high hell, but now they're insulting you as strongly. What gives? I mean, yeah, making you high-class material will be great for your image, helping you reach a lot of your goals, but no need to insult you for not being high-class already.

>>614419
I'd say we fall under 'OS'.

*and about the kind of users that usually have gen 2's
Did Goldie get those users gen 2's as well? Goldie 'liberate' a bunch of gen 2's regularly, then? Or were all of you just too busy watching tv that the rest of you don't like and arguing about it?

>You guys alright up there? You're awfully quiet ...
we're getting into an augment over how todays tv is garbage compared to what tv was yesteryear with Goldie's AI but don't actually have any real idea what we're talking about. Not letting that stop us though!

>>614407
yo, quick question. Why did Goldie give Maroon us in the first place? I mean I get that Goldie kinda likes the guy but from what I'm hearing form you guys you don't really have much of an opinion of Maroon. Kinda finding it weird that you'd even let Goldie hand us over to someone you don't even care about.

*i mean, we know it's not a real date, but it's dangerously close to one
*if goldie is willing to be seen at an important social function with them who KNOWS what's next
*they'd never be this reckless with their image if it wasn't for the aubergine thing
*ugh, aubergine
*fuckin aubergine
*FUCKING aubergine
*for the record i was against aubergine from the beginning. like, i'm just saying
*no you weren't you fucking liar we ALL liked aubergine and we all got duped
*yeah, this one is kinda on us
*forget aubergine, aubergine's fucking AI POP
*UGGGGHHHHHH
*UGH
*UGH
*EW
*aubergine's FUCKING ai pop
*ugh
*ok can we focus? yeah. so. basically, aubergine is like, the worst person ever
*literally the worst
*in this case i actually do agree w 788a9's use of the word "literally"
*they totally used goldie just to get close to this asshole musician who HAPPENS to be in pluto's charge
*they were always begging goldie to go to parties this person would be at and then they left goldie to go hang out with them instead all night
*and then finally when it had progressed to flirting right in front of their face our user decided to cut it off
*that's, uh, not exactly-
*AND THEN GOLDIE DECIDED TO DUMP AUBERGINE THE END!! shut up 665t6
*yeah, shut up 665t6
*goldie totally kicked them to the curb
*absolutely merciless
*but anyway. all that being said, aubergine is still a total 10 and has really good social standing so like?? horribleness aside, we still wanna hook our user up with them again
*oh, yeah, totally
*sacrifices must be made, u know

FRACTAL 2014/12/29(Mon)18:02 No. 616641 ID: 6b7ea4
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The car screeches into a parking lot, just barely missing a few other vehicles as Goldie pulls sideways into a parking spot. Maroon stumbles out as soon as possible, bracing themselves against the side of the car as they catch their breath.

"Why the fuck do you drive like that when you've got auto/transport specialized PAAGs?!"

Goldie pouts. "So you've been snooping? The fact that I have automotive PAAGs is why I can drive like that." They slam the door and begin to saunter towards the boutique. "Come on, hurry up."